Good Days

So I know this probably sounds weird, but sometimes I like genuinely forget I have a blog and I'm like oh yeah I gotta post something it's been like a week or whatever LOL. So that kinda goes hand in hand with me also not having much to talk about sometimes. Anyways, so I've been listening to SZA – Good Days a lot and it's such a dope song, it just makes you feel really good. She talks about not focusing on the past and present negativities, but rather looking forward to the future, looking ahead to good days. I guess especially given the times that we're living in it can certainly be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm hopeful and optimistic for good days ahead. I've talked to y'allin previous posts about taking care of yourselves physically and especially mentally because it can be really draining having so much on your plate at the same time. She also talks about how her and a dude kinda fell off cuz communication just wasn't there and she says “you be heavy on my mind, can you get the heck out? I need rest now, got me bummed out” and it reminded me of this girl that I was talking to where I legit couldn't sleep lol, like it was so bad and toxic for my health that I had to cut it off. Like it got me thinking like damn how can one person have such a drastic effect on my mood and well being, like this is not healthy. But anyways the line that really stands out to me in this song is when she says “I try to keep from losing the rest of me, I worry that I've wasted the best of me on you, babe you don't care.” And I think that's something that's always on my mind, especially when you start talking to someone and you begin investing more and more of your time and yourself into them. You're (hopefully) giving them your best, so when it doesn't work out in a way it's like man that's exhausting I dunno if I can do that again or like give the same amount of time and energy that I did before. My friend once said to me while he was dating this one girl for a long while he was like hey I don't know or think I'll be able to love another person the way I loved my ex and I was like damn, that's crazy. He's like I caz certainly learn to love my current partner to that point, but man I don't think I\ll ever love someone the way I loved her. And I think back to that lyric or worrying you wastd the best of yourself on someone else. I think there's that then there's also the worry of like well what if I don't find anything or anyone better...which is scary. But then I think about the song as a whole...believing in good days to come, not focusing on the negativity in the past or the present because it's stuff I can't control...but looking forward ne believing in good days to come. I hope this all makes sense lol, if anything trust me when I say go give the song a listen...it's a feel good banger, just makes you feel nice. This girl told me she listened to it every morning when she woke up and I had already heard the song but I gave it another shot and it hit hard, I was like damn this makes you feel nice lol. Tomorrow's February, wow...January's felt hella long for some reason...but yeah, I'll see y'all next month....HAHA PEACE

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

So I’m the kinda customer/shopper who tries not to make a scene or a big deal about anything. Like I’m the kinda person where if the server gets my order wrong, I’ll just eat it anyways to avoid the hassle for everyone. Now I’m sure a lot of y’all are like that, at least in that example, but I think working in retail has made me like hypersensitive or extremely vigilant about these things lol. Like here’s another example, my boy and I were at the Nike store a while ago and he took these pants off of the hanger to look at them, didn’t know how to put them back onto the hanger so he just threw it to the side. I was like BRO, at least try to put it back properly lol. So I took the pants and tried to make it as presentable as possible, now if still might’ve been wrong and the employee might still have had to fix it regardless of either situation, but it’s the effort and thought that counts. Like when I’m working and a customer picks up an item and just kinda dashes it wherever they please, ohhhhh that grinds my gears…but when they at least try to fold it or hang it back properly, even if it’s not correct and I still have to fix it I appreciate the effort. Working in retail and having to go through these things really reinforces in my brain that’s its not easy working customer service and we and y’all really have to deal with a lot. So I was getting bubble tea the other day and it was stuuuuupid busy., For context, there was some free delivery and pick up option for online ordering so it was packed out the bum. So there was a line to get into the store, lemme tell you it was 15 minutes before I got into the store, then I swear to you another 30 minutes to get to the front of the line and place my order then another 30 minutes before I actually got my order. So they have like a solid 6-8 people working, but they were all focused on the online orders because they had timed deadlines. But even the dude who was working the cash register for the actual customers was like overwhelmed with all the online orders coming in, like he had bare receipts in his hands so the physical line for ordering would legit move ever 5-10 minutes. So waiting for my drink like I said was another 30 minutes and as tempted as I was to go off cuz I was like yo how is this line not moving and how am I waiting like 30 minutes for 2 drinks. But I just kept my cool, kindly asked if my order was ready a couple times and eventually, I got it and dude was like hey sorry for the wait, thanks for your patience. I just thought about all those super busy days I had, all those really tiring and hard days that I had where I wasn’t feeling it and I empathized with them. It got me thinking like man, people are allowed to have their good and bad days, yeah they should still be professional but like who am I to judge or go off on someone when I don’t know what they’re going through, I don’t kno what happened to them yesterday or even the morning of. So whether it’s like a rude server, an impatient sales associate or maybe even a friend even who snaps at you…everyone’s allowed to have their good and bad days and you never know what someone is going through or has gone through. Then of course, the flip side is like well if you’re having a bad day or aren’t feeling well, you definitely shouldn’t and it’s not fair for you to project that or put that onto someone else by like yelling at a customer or being rude to someone. It’s a two sided coin for sure and it’s moreso something I’ve noticed in my own life and a reminder I try to keep in mind like when I’m a customer and things aren’t going my way, chill out, be patient, you.don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes and as an employee, yeah I have my bad days or whatever, but I shouldn’t put that onto somebody else. Hope you’re doing well, staying safe, staying warm cuz it’s getting pretty cold out there…I’ll see y’all soon, peace.

Emotional Connections & Attachments

I think I\m definitely somebody that holds on or has a hard time letting go of like emotional attachment. Like what does that even mean...well I feel like even the tiniest emotional connections that I make with someone can have a significant impact on me and it's something that I'll always think about from time to time. Whether it's an ex, a friend you don't talk to anymore, a coworker you don't work with anymore or even just a girl you went on a date with...I feel like for me, when I build or have even the smallest cmotional connection with someone, I just feel bonded to them and in a weird way they have like a special place in my heart...or mind, probably mind cuz I don\t really feel a significant way about it but it is something that I think about frequently. Sometimes I feel like I hate that about myself or see it as a weird weakness that I can't let these things go that in the bigger picture of my life don't really hold much value. Like I'm someone who's a sucker for personal conversations, deep talks, really good vibes, just sharing your personal life and experiences with one another...like I live for that stuff but I also get not everyone is open to sharing their personal life right away or at all, but it is something I'll try to pry and push in conversation cuz that's just the kinda person I am and those are the things I like ti talk about. I know I say pry and push but I swear I'm not annoying about it lol or at least I hope I'm not. But continuing on, so when I feel like I've shared a personal/intimate moment with someone whether through a real dope conversation, sharing of life stories or just really good vibes...it holds a sentimental place in my heart and it's something I think often frequently which also leads me to think of the person is is about as well. Like I'm talking about girls I've went on one or even two dates with, I'll think about that person and feel a way because we shared a real dope moment or had some really cool conversations. Or friends I don't talk to anymore, whether we were good friends for a long or short period of time...if we shared a dope moment together, it's something that I like connect to that person and it makes me think of them when I think of that moment. Like for example when my car battery died at the mall one time cuz I left the headlight on during my shift at work, my boy was chilling with his girl, he drove like 45 minutes to jumpstart my car...now we were really close friends for one summer and we don't talk anymore but when I think about that, I think about him and I get happpy and also sad. Or one friend where we spent one summer literally chilling everyday...driving range, loitering at the mall, food runs, cottage...then we argued over money and some stupid shit and we're not friends anymore...but I attach those memories to him and like when I think about it, I think about it and I can never really truly let go or erase these people from my heart cuz we shared something super dope that I hold in a real sentimental place in my heart. It's kinda weird like I said cuz even some people who are legit strangers essentially..like girls I've went on one date with but maybe we had a really good time or just had some dope conversations, I'll randomly stumble onto an old text conversation and think about our date and our conversations and it\ll make me feel a way. Which is why I have trouble like understanding how people can just cut someone off right then and there lol...whether a friend, an ex, whoever...like I'm so emotionally attached to memories and moments and shared life experiences and events that I can't just cut a person off cuz that would mean like removing or forgetting that memory that I had or that life experience that I went through and I just can't do that. I hope I'm not like rambling lol it's just something I find myself thinking about constantly...girls that I went on dates with, friends I don't really talk to anymore...people that you would probably look at me and be like they're literally no one to you lol which is true...but like the memories and moments that they're attached to hold value to me and in turn, they give that person value or it gives me a reason to like not erase that person from my life. I hope all this makes sense lol, whenever I write it makes sense in my head but I also fear that it just comes out as a jumbled mess lol. Till next time, PEACE.

Get To The Point

I feel like being brief and concise is definitely a skill and a good one at that. I have a tendency to like ramble, tell stories and get hella off topic LOL that's just me. Some of y'all like that on the blog, some of y'all don't...similarly some of y'all like long posts whereas some of y'all prefer short posts. Lately I've been in the mindset of trrying to be brief and concise, like I was writing a post yesterday and I kinda stopped midway and was like yo what're you even saying, like it feels like you're just talking out of your butt. So I stopped and decided not to finish the post, now this happens kinda often where I'll be writing a post midway or just starting and I find myself like going on a tangent or talking randomly and I'll be like BRO just get to the point. Like I know for myself, when I see long articles or posts, immediately I'm like damn let\s try to find the important parts. Or an even better example, when you click on like a 10+ minute youtube video and you go to the comments to look for where the part of the video you're looking for actually starts. That's kinda how I feel with my blog posts lately...like I still love to tell stories, ramble and just talk to y'all...but I've really been trying to just be concise and keep things brief and like get to the point lol. We had this assignment for one of my classes where we had to write a letter to an organization and my prof is like okay, you have to include a bunch of information and stuff but you have to keep it brief in like 1-2 pages cuz often times, the people that are going to read your letter will literally stop after the word limit they assigned. So our assignment was like 200 words or something, so my prof was like yeah, if you go over 200 words, they'll literally stop reading. Now I ended up doing really well on the assignment (tiny flex) and she was like yo you did a really good job or being brief and concise and including the most important and relevant information, she's like I had no problems reading your letter and understanding exactly what it was you were talking about. After that I started leaning towards like trying to be concise with my posts, maybe not like hella brief but like get tot he point lol. There's plenty of times where I'll be in conversations with people and I'm just like okay, how is this relevant or whatever, just get to the point LOL...so in my head I'm just like I bet people probably feel a similar way to my posts LOL, or maybe not, who knows. Continuing on this idea of being brief and concise tho, it kinda plays into the reasoning behind why I prefer in person conversation above all else, like I hate phone calls and I'm starting to dislike text conversastions but I used to love it. I'm not saying texting in general, but like when you go back and forth with somebody like I hate that lol...in that situation I'd prefer a phone call or I'll send voice notes if I have a lot to say. But again, back in my Interpersonal Communications class, all those non verbal cues are so important in a conversation...body language, eye contact, engagement...it tells me okay they're invested or they're listening to what I'm saying, I can continue. But there's also plenty of times where I'll read someone's body language and it's like okay they clearly don't give a damn about what I'm saying so I'll like get to the point or just stop talking completely lol. Other than that, I hope y'all are doing well...is it just me or does January already feel like it's been hella long, maybe that's just me lol. I'll see y'all soon lol, peace.

An Encouragement From Me To You...

Hey friends. how\re y'all doing? Crazy how we're about 2 weeks into the new year and this thing doesn't feel like its anywhere close to being done. Especially now that we're going back into like a strict lockdown, it literally feels like we're back in March/April, everyone's at home, everything's closed and you're only really going out if you have to. I'm starting school tomorrow and it's my last semester before I graduate in April or whenever convocation is lol. With that all being said, I'm reminded of one of my classes where this girl literally broke down saying how she's so busy and there's so much on her plate from work, family, kids and stuff and she's still expected to like grind in school and complete all these assignments on time and such. All of this kinda just really hit me...cuz I mean I definitely felt exhausted but I can also manage my time and own mental health pretty well and I know when to take a step back and like breathe. But I understand not everybody knows or can do that. So I just wanted to remind y'all and send y\all a little encouragement...to really take care of yourself. Nothing, and I truly mean NOTHING is more important than your own personal health. No matter how busy it is at work or school, make sure you set aside time for yourself, check in and ask yourself how you're doing, take a deep breath, take a walk. If you're living by yourself, make sure you reach out and talk to somebody, your friends aren't mindreaders and they won't always know how you feel or if you're going through something...reach out and stay connected, being alone in these times can definitely take it's toll on you especially over a long period of time. If you're with family, friends, roommates...cherish that, it's definitely easy to get annoyed being around the same people every single day, but be thankful that you do have people around you to keep you company, check in on each other, help each other pass the time, keep each other accountable. For me, 2020 was learning a lot about the importance of self-care and putting yourself first because like I've said before, you can't pour from an empty cup. So if you're mentally drained and physically exhausted, how can you expect to help pick up and encourage those around you. I don't know if you've seen it, but there's this Marshawn Lynch interview going aroound on instagram where he tells people literally to “protect your chicken and protect your mental””. Chicken as in like money, protecting and being smart with your money and also protecting and taking care of your own mental health. I know I'm somebody that's always worried and asking everyone else how they\re doing and if they wanna talk, but sometimes you gotta take a step back and check on yourself first cuz you yourself might not be okay. There's plenty of times I'll be too busy checking up on other people that when someone is like well wait, how're you doing? That's when I actually have to ask myself and a lot of the times it's like wow, I'm actually not doing well, I'm pretty drained or I'm stressed or I'm overwhelmed. So like I said, this is just my encouragement to you, as we get the new year rolling, some of y'all are going back to school, getting back to work, chilling at home, whatever it may be, take care of yourself physically and mentally. Go for a walk, get some fresh air, check in with your mental health often, talk to a friend, relax and watch a movie. No amount of work, school or money is more important than your own health. I wish you well, stay safe, see y'all soon...peace.

Things I Learned About Life

So I was having a conversation with a coworker and she was like oh I wanna go back to school but I also don’t really know exactly what I wanna go back for. She’s like because of COVID and being locked down, I haven’t really done anything or found any sort of motivation/inspiration as to what I’d wanna go back to school for. To which I was like well don’t say that, sometimes I find motivation and inspiration just through the conversations and interactions that I have with the people around me. And that got me thinking…in my case at least, I haven’t really been doing much during these times aside from like work, school and hanging out with friends every now and then. The thought definitely crossed my mind of like damn, well since I’m not doing anything there’s gonna be nothing to blog about lol, but then the more I thought about it I was like yo…I’d say a good majority of the posts on this blog aren’t inspired by things that I’ve done or events thatI’ve been to…but rather conversations and interactions that I’d had with friends, coworkers, teachers, you name it. Now let’s go back to the conversation I was having with my coworker, now she’s still pretty young so this is the advice I gave her. I was like it’s really cliché to say, but experience is really one of if not the greatest teachers of life. What I meant by that is just like by living life, doing things, putting yourself out there, exposing yourself to new and different situations…those are all learning experiences. So I told her I’m like don’t say you haven’t been doing anything or you feel like you’re not getting any inspiration. Once you sit and really reflect on the conversations you have with your friends, the interactions you have with your coworkers, even just hearing other people’s experiences…all that plays into your own learning and experiences as well. So all this really made me sit and think about my own life and it’s really true even though cliché when I say that life and experience has really been one of my greatest teachers. It may be different for you, but for me it’s like I’ve honestly learned (for the most part) nothing in school after all these years. I’ve never needed to calculate the circumference of a circle, I’ve never needed to identify all of the provinces and territories in Canada, I’m not really an avid reader either so books haven’t really taught me much. And also growing up in an Asian household, if you know you know, they don’t teach you about things like relationships, sex, how to shave, all that stuff. I just kinda learned myself or through conversations and interactions with people. Things like how to talk to girls, communication skills in general, job interviews, customer service…all these things are things I’ve learned by doing, observing and also through conversation and interaction and also being able to hear other people’s shared life experiences. One of my favourite classes in school and one that I feel like I actually learning things that are applicable is a course I took last year in college called Interpersonal Communication…and it’s all about the art of communication really. Verbal and non verbal cues, being a good listener, being active and engaging in a conversation…it’s all things I’ve known but also didn’t really know and being able to learn it, see it in action and also practice it myself was hella helpful. But yeah, without rambling on too much…just thinking about my own life and maybe this holds true for you…experience was the greatest teacher for me. I was always and still am in certain situations a shy and introverted person, but when I started to put myself in uncomfortable, new and different situations, it helped me learn about life, about people and about myself most of all. The more I was able to put myself out there, have different interactions, gain different perspectives, it all plays into your growth and your learning as an individual and it helps equips you with the knowledge and skills so that you can in a way create and forge your own path with all this information. But yeah, that’s me and maybe it’s you as well…I look at my life and a lot of the things that I have learned and know today is just through living life and gaining experience. So with all that, I’ll see y’all soon…PEACE.

Hello 2021

Hey friends, happy new year! I remember back in high school or university, back when the new year hits and I'd go back to school I\d always write the date on my homework and write like the wrong year cuz you're just so used to write the previous year for so long LOL. So uh...don't know if you realized or not, but we did a little redecorating over here at the best you never heard lol. Yo lemme say that it took a solid 2 hours to get it to how it looks now, for one because I'm a perfectionist when it comes to these things and two, I just wanted it to look and feel right since I knew it would be the new layout for the foreseeable future. I've been talking about wanting to switch up how the blog looks for the longest time but kept putting it off cuz I'm lazy and I knew it would be a lot of work. In the blog's history I've only changed the layout once, and even then it still kinda stayed like witht he grey and shades of black vibes because I'm super simple and boring. Fun fact, I vaguely/hardly remember what the blog first looked like because I had the old layout for such a long time LOL. But yeah, I wanted to try something different something bold...for me at least. I know it probs still looks hella simple and boring, but that's the kinda person I am lol. I will say that a big inspiration was me wanting the blog to look like my own personal journal, so everything from the colours to the specific fonts I took a long time to think about and went back and forth a lot before making a final decision. Lemme also say I had found one layout that I absolutely loved, it was like this chill ocean sunset background and it looked dope on the computer but for some reason on the mobile viewer it looked really ugly and wouldn't fit everything properly so I literally had to scrap everything and opted for a plain background but still wanted to make it pop somehow. I'm definitely really happy with how it turned out and I really like the cursive, I wanted to be careful not to pick a font that was too messy or too hard to read. Bug enough about the layout lol, when I was sitting in bed thinking about what to write about, I was like damn there were a few posts I didn't get to write about like a look back or 2020 in review, but then the more I thought about it I was like eh, it would\ve been a whack post anyways considering how little has happened in 2020, for me at least. So I opted not to do that and instead end 2020 with a post I had been thinking about and brainstorming about for a long while...and y'all really enjoyed it and the feedback was super dope, which I'm glad. A new year of the blog means new goals, new milestones and hopefully new post ideas. A new year means more life and more experiences and hopefully y'all will stick around for the journey as I continue to document all that on this blog. For new years eve, it was super simple this year...most of my friends were busy with their S/O's, so I just chilled with a friend, got a little tipsy, watched a dope movie and brought in the new year with him and my parents. It's funny/weird seeing like memes and people be like YEAHH 2021 is our year, gonna be soooo much better...but it's like here we are still locked down and in the middle of a pandemic lol. I mean in a weird way it feels like we're back in March/April, obvs a bit more relaxed, but in a sense where like everything is closed, everyone's at home and there's a lot of uncertainty up in the air. I will say that for myself, there really is no expectation for 2021, the bar is set pretty low so I mean hopefully it's clear waters from here, fingers crossed. My friend asked me a question today and I throw that question at you..what's your new years resolutions? Or if you don't do that stuff cuz I know some people don\t....what're your goals for 2021, or just things you're hoping to get done or things you're looking forward to. A big one for me is graduating college, feels like I've graduated post secondary like 5 times (2 actually) LOL. Then of course hopefully find a job in that field and quit my current job. Other than that, I\m literally going with the flow, expecting the unexpected...that's definitely a good skill to have, as important and good as it is to be prepared, it's good to be flexible for when plans don't go the way they're supposed to. I mean look at 2020 for example...everyone has plans, things to do, vacations, events and suddenly everything changed and we all had to adapt to a different way of living. So yeah for me just kinda going with the flow but still working and grinding as hard as I can, or as hard as my mental capacity will let me in these exhausting times. I'm nervous but also excited...a new year, new challenges, new growth, new changes...I'm keeping an open mind but I'm looking forward to what the rest of 2021 has in store for us. With that, I'll catch y\all on the flip side, DEUCES.