My Newest Tattoo

I know I've been mia since 300,000, apologies...life's been getting the best of me as of late, but y'all are used to me loaftness. So I got another tattoo, if y'all care, feel free to keep reading lol. If y'all are expecting like an extravagant story or a super deep reason as to why I got this, there really isn't one. I guess I'll backtrack a bit...I've always told y'all about my fascination with wolves...so I stumbled upon a dope tribal wolf like half a year ago or so and have been planning this tattoo since then. It was still in the idea stage then, I stumbled upon a quote that resonated with me really hard and only pushed forth the idea of me getting a wolf tattoo. But after lots of thinking and praying, I decided a wolf probably wasn't the best animal to get tattooed on my body considering how the bible portrays them. I started doubting it, but knew I still wanted a tattoo, and somehow stumbled upon this tribal lion, which really caught my attention. Then I started doing my research and such about just what lions represent and how they are portrayed in the bible and such. I liked it, long story short, I decided to pull the trigger, at first I wanted to get it on my birthday, then I told myself 300,000...here we are, end of May...better late than never I guess. Just like how an artist titles their pieces of art...if I had to title this one, it would be Grown Simba, a reference to lion king and to simba. Like I said, there's no real deep meaning behind this tattoo...if anything, i represents growth...of me as a person in all aspects...physically, mentally and just the way I see and view life. I used to be very critical of people with sleeve tattoos for example because in my head, how can you have a meaningful explanation for every single one of your tattoos...like a smiley face on your arm...or a pair of lips on your neck...or a celebrity's face on your body...but it's all perception and perspective....to you, it's just a smiley face, lips or a face...or someone else, it could mean the world, or they could just simply really enjoy how it looks.Who am I...or who are you to tell them otherwise, if they like it, it's up to them. Before this tattoo and before my other tattoos...it's always weighing every single possible outcome and making sure that I'm prepared for any possible repercussions or reactions towards me and to it...I ask myself, are you prepared for possible negative reactions and criticisms, if the answer is yes, then go ahead, if not...then really consider if this is something you want to have on your body forever. The other thing I consider is the future...and if my kids ask about my tattoo or have thoughts about getting tattoos...if that something I'm prepared to talk about, explain and be okay with? Again, if the answer is yes, then go ahead...but if you have doubts...maybe you should really think this through. I could go on and on about this, but I feel I've bored you enough...I've been reading a lot of blogs lately and putting myself in your shoes...wow, reading long posts is tiring...but that's cuz I'm not a reader lol, maybe some of y'all enjoy this, who knows. But yeah...I say this represents growth because it does...I think so differently and view life so differently now than I did a year ago, even a month ago...it's all a process of becoming a better person...not viewing others' opinions about me so highly that I feel the need to be someone else...being comfortable in my own skin and embracing who I am, but realizing I have lots to learn and room for improvement like any person does. To the next chapter in my life...I'm ready.

300,000 VIEWS

300,000 man I never saw it comin'...I hit the ground, never looked back and started runnin'.

Thank you so much truly truly, there's not much else to say, see y'all at the next milestone and hope y'all continue on my journey of life and growth.

Here's the caption on my IG post cuz that sums everything up perfectly:

"I've always struggled with having a voice and feeling like I was never heard. Even in my circle of friends, I'm the quiet one or I'm last to speak. 300,000, means someone out there...is listening. It means all my thoughts, feelings, emotions, experiences and such...are reaching a destination, wherever that may be. You reading my posts whenever you do is just a big a part as me writing them, because you help in motivating and inspiring me to continue to write and be honest and transparent knowing someone, somewhere, is listening. Thank you, till 400,000...peace."

Shoutouts to my friends for helping me with this very spontaneous, last minute project...I'll leave their instagram handles below for you to check out!

@jerryvous                                         @tonychen1811

@omar_osman                                  @yiyi7997                                        @justinli1

@chanster1027                                 @jasonsporttherapy                      @isaacma4

Romans 14:7-13

I know I've been mia, been working on a lot of things for the blog and I'm very excited. It's crazy how sometimes, things don't hit you until you go over them or hear of them a second time or they just hit you even harder. I'm excited to share all that I've been working on with you guys, all on due time, very, very soon. This was a real great reminder for myself about the attitudes and opinions one might have towards other people, their behavior or anything.

“For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written: “ ‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.’ ” So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.”

(Mostly) Everything You Need To Know About Me

So a while ago, my friends sent me this personality quiz and I've done personality quizzes before so I was like okay whatever, I'll do this one and be done with it. As I was reading the results, it was freakishly accurate...like the majority of the time, I was like oh geez, that's fully me. To the point where I decided to dedicate a post to it...a post all about...myself lol, or at least my personality and others who feel similarly. But yeah, so here's (mostly) everything you really need to know about me. Trust me when I say this is considered short...I spent like a good amount of time cutting it down cuz it was much longer before lol, enjoy...and if you actually decide to read until the end, then you'll have a pretty decide idea into who I am, or at least who I think I am...if not, I bolded the things that really stood out to me and that I thought described me perfectly.

INFP - Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving

"always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events"
"perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy,"
"risk of feeling misunderstood"
"communicate deeply with others, easily speaking in metaphors and parables, and understanding and creating symbols to share their ideas"
"will always need to disappear for a while, removing themselves from others so they can re-center on their own minds and feelings"
"Understanding themselves and their place in the world is important to INFPs"
"often drift into deep thought, enjoying contemplating the hypothetical and the philosophical"
"Left unchecked, INFPs may start to lose touch, withdrawing into "hermit mode", and it can take a great deal of energy from their friends or partner to bring them back to the real world"
"friends and loved ones will come to admire and depend on them for their optimism"
"dislike being constrained by rules"
"combine their intuitive nature with their open-mindedness to allow them to see things from unconventional perspectives"
"When something captures INFPs' imagination and speaks to their beliefs, they go all in, dedicating their time, energy, thoughts and emotions to the project."
"often take their idealism too far, setting themselves up for disappointment as, again and again"
"sometimes see themselves as selfish, but only because they want to give so much more than they are able to"
"often so focused on the big picture that they forget the forest is made of individual trees"
"often take challenges and criticisms personally, rather than as inspiration to reassess their positions"
"Avoiding conflict as much as possible, INFPs will put a great deal of time and energy into trying to align their principles and the criticisms into a middle ground that satisfies everybody"
"private, reserved and self-conscious. This makes them notoriously difficult to really get to know"
"dream of the perfect relationship, forming an image of this pedestalled ideal that is their soul mate, playing and replaying scenarios in their heads of how things will be"
"Love All, Trust a Few, Do Wrong to None"
"almost always looking to either establish a new relationship or improve an existing one"
"passionate, hopeless romantics"
"take the time to understand those they care about, while at the same time helping them to learn, grow and change"
"prone to internalizing even objective statements and facts, reading into their themes and exaggerated consequences"
"The true friends of people with the INFP personality type tend to be few and far between, but those that make the cut are often friends for life"
"crave the depth of mutual human understanding, but tire easily in social situations; they are excellent at reading into others' feelings and motivations, but are often unwilling to provide others the same insight into themselves"
"find the idea of being paired with their opposite fascinating enough to outweigh the practical challenges to such a friendship"
"tendency to protect their sensitive inner cores and values from criticism, especially if they are on the more turbulent side of the spectrum, means that acquaintances will likely get nowhere near them without sustained and tactful effort"
"if they decide to open up and trust another person, a strong, stable friendship will ensue, marked by passionate support and idealism, subtle poetic wit, and a level of emotional insight that is hard to match"
"often wish that they could just be, doing what they love without the stress and rigor of professional life"
"a tendency to put others' interests ahead of their own, a mixed blessing by itself"
"if it isn't worth doing, it isn't really worth doing, and this sense of moral purpose in their work colors everything from how they respond to authority to how they express it"
"they value harmony, need an emotional and moral connection to their work"
"aren't looking for easy, forgettable work that pays the bills, they're looking for meaningful work that they actually want to think about"
"don't like conflict or picking sides, and will do everything they can to maintain harmony and cooperation"
"can become extremely emotional – they may not show it, but it can affect their judgment, or even cause them to withdraw inwards"

24, I Couldn't Ask For More

Today's my birthday and I'm super thankful and appreciative of all the blessings in my life. The theme of today and the thing that kept lingering on my mind was Keep The Family Close, a song title by Drake. I've always been the type to make a big deal of birthdays, of who wishes me happy birthday and such...but as I've gotten older, and this year especially...I've really valued the people who are truly close to me. I use to think about dumb things like oh, I wished that person happy birthday, why didn't they wish me happy birthday. It's kinda like oh I like that person's post or picture why don't they like mine. It goes back to intention, are you doing those things because it's a nice thing to do, or because you expect something in return. I'm learning that friendship and love...tho it would be nice to be reciprocated, is not meant to be, it's hoped to be, but it doesn't have to be. I do things for my friends and family because I love and care for them, not because I expect something in return. So in that same way, I'm trying to change that mindset of day expecting people to say happy birthday to me or doijg whatever for example because they're not obligated to, if they do, it's a nice gesture that I appreciate. But yeah, back to the theme of keeping the family close, really valuing those that are close to me and putting quality over quantity. In the same way I feel as I've gotten older, I begin to prefer a la charge style foods rather than all you can eat, I'm thankful for my group of friends, no matter how small or big they might be cuz that's my family. So this year I'm thankful for that, for them, for the many blessings in my life, for health and for life...cheers to 24, and shoutout to 24...

Where You Were, Where You Are

I was thinking about this one situation I was dealing with (a story I'll tell soon) and how it literally bothered me so much. It was affecting me in every single aspect of my life...like I couldn't sleep, I didn't feel right, my mind was all over the place. Fast forward to the present day...the same situation...doesn't bother me at all. It's crazy to think back to times when certain things, situations or people would be able to affect us so greatly...physically, mentally, emotionally...but everything, with time...passes. This one thing that used  to bother me to ENORMOUS lengths, now...has little to no affect on me. It's really cool to think about...and it's really encouraging moving forward. I always tell people when they're struggling...to close their eyes and to think of the hardest, most toughest time in their life...think about the pain, how they felt, how they thought they'd never get through it and it was the end of the world...then I'd tell them to open their eyes...look at themselves, look at their life, what once felt like the end of the world...is now a cool story to tell, a chapter of growth and learning. Where you were then versus where you are now...everything, with time...will pass. And as it passes...comes growth, learning and change. I love thinking back to times I struggled, times I told myself...this is rock bottom...then looking at my life now...smiling because I weathered the storm. After every storm, is a rainbow...trust the process, embrace the struggle...it's all meant to push you forward in life.

I Don't Want It Anymore

You every want something really bad...then after a while, you just don't. It could be for a variety of reasons, maybe you changed, the way you once saw it isn't the same as the way you now see it. Maybe it changed, maybe the thing that drew you to it changed or isn't there anymore or is gone. Maybe it isn't what you want anymore or maybe you feel it isn't worth the effort anymore. I feel like that kinda...it's weird tho...thinking back to that one point when and where it was all you wanted and could think and talk about. But now...you just don't, and you directly explain it, you just don't have that same feeling for it that you once did. For me...it's kinda even to the point where the thing you once wanted and thought about for so long...now kinda turns you off and rubs you the wrong way. Is that weird? Is that growth? Is that change? I dunno...it's something, that's for sure. Maybe I've changed and am just seeing it in a different light now and from a different perspective...or maybe it's changed and isn't the same thing that I once wanted anymore. Rereading this, it feels like I'm speaking it riddles lol, or at least it feels like I'm very very ambiguous and indirect, which I am lol...sorry.

Be Kind

So I was at the gas station this morning and this lady behind me was going offff cuz there was a long line, she starts like yelling out hurry up, do you really have to buy lottery tickets now, keep the line moving. She keeps like yelling and heckling and even talking about the cashier saying she's so slow and such. So I let her go in front of me and she looks at me and goes thanks and like starts to simmer down. I don't really know what that story has to do with what I'm talking about, but it inspired me, because the first thing that came to my mind when she was going off...is to be kind to people. I mean the littlest things...from saying please and thank you...to going a little further like holding doors open for people behind you and talking to people respectively and politely. I was grocery shopping with a friend a couple of weeks back and he needed some kale or something, there wasn't any left, so the guy working there was like do you want me to go to the back and look for some? My boy was like yeah sure that'd be real cool, I'd appreciate it. He comes back out later with a box of kale and goes yeah take however many you need. All I'm saying is being kind can go a long way...if my friend was a dick to him, he could've pretended to go in the back and look for it and told us there was nothing there. This post was mainly inspired by this one friend that I have...who literally oozes kindness, like you'll never catch him not smiling. People like him...I'll never worry about. Because I know that their kindness, their good heart...will get them through in life. My friend is such a happy and kind dude and EVERYONE he meets just really likes him, and it's hard not to. He's going to get through in life whatever he chooses to do because his personality rubs off on people, his kindness makes people wanna be kind to him, it makes people wanna believe in him and put their faith and trust in him. I'm not saying be kind and do nice things for the sole purpose of hoping to get something in return, I'm saying be kind...because it's the right thing to do and it only helps spread the kindness to others. If more people were kind to each other, the world would run much ore smoothly I bet. The littlest gestures can sometimes go the longest of ways...you never know. Treat others the way you'd want to be treated...and I'd hope that that's kind and police and nice. Anyways, goodnight.

The Comfort Of My Comfort Zone

"Ever wonder how your mom and I got to be so darn happy, we gave up on our dreams and we settled. That's the beauty of complacency, if you don't try anything new, you'll never fail."

I was watching the movie Zootopia a couple of days ago and stumbled upon this quote which really stood out to me. Pretty much the movie is about a rabbit/bunny who wants to be a cop, but is discouraged and looked down upon because of her size and stature, as all the cops are big, burly animals like bears, rhinos, tigers and such. Her parents are carrot farmers, which puts the quote into context as they don't want her being a cop and want her to settle, to be 'happy' like they are. It just got me thinking about my life, life in general, how we sometimes settle into what we think will make us happy. But is it really happiness, or is it comfort, safety, fear even...of failure, of rejection. If you don't try anything new, you'll never fail, although true...but if you don't try anything new, you'll always be stuck in that same bubble, you'll always be confined to the 4 walls of comfort in your life. It's when we try new things where we learn what we're good at, but it's also where we fail and learn what we're not good at. Trying new things is where our horizon and perspective gets broadened. It's like if a fish lived in a pond all it's life, all it would know is the pond and what is in the pond...if it never ventured out into the ocean, it would never know there's a vast body of water and other fish in the sea. Complacency is easy, I know, because it's comfortable, it's safe, sure you may be content if you settle for something. But I don't think you'll truly be happy because you'll always be wondering in the back of your mind what if? What if I did this, what if I stepped outside of my bubble, tried something new. It's okay to fail, it's not okay to settle for something less because you're scared to fail.

Quantity And Quality Of Life

Greetings friends, it's been a while, I'm sorry. Time flies lol...what have I been up to lately...nothing significantly special, enjoying life, spending time with friends, with God, really finding balance and joy in my life in all aspects. The older I get, quality of life becomes much more important than quantity of life. What you do with a given hour is more important than how much you can do within that given hour. I feel like as I've grown up and adopted that mentality, so has this blog...in a sense that I don't blog every single day like I used to, but when I do blog, the content is so much more different than when I first started blogging and had over 1,000 posts within that year. I first started blogging to get noticed, to get attention, I posted songs, music videos, pictures, all that jazz...the thought of sharing about my life, my stories, my experiences never even crossed my mind. As the blog slowly transitioned, quantity slowly decreased while quality increased. If you fast forward to present day, it's pretty much just me talking to you guys, occasionally I'll share with you guys a song or two, but for the most part...it's just me and you, and words. I was with a friend the other day and pretty much the day before, he was with me and I dropped a piece of candy on the floor, so the next day, I'm with him and he sees the same piece of candy and picks it up, I laugh and I'm like imagine if you eat that...without hesitation, he does it....I give him a blank stare and start laughing hysterically like WHAT'RE YOU DOING...that's so dirty. He's like I'm sick anyways, he sits down and goes, don't worry I'm 17, I'm indestructible. Which brings me back to the whole quality and quantity of life thing. At his age, I was exactly like that, I felt indestructible...it was more about trying to get the most out of my time instead of doing one or two things I really enjoyed. Similarly, when I was younger, I loved all you can eat style foods...but now, I find myself feeling full after one round or so, as a matter a fact, I actually prefer a la carte styles cuz in my opinion it tastes better anyways, oh how things and mindsets and perspectives have changed. So the point I'm trying to get at is...I know I'm super slacks with this blog sometimes, but I really don't wanna put out posts for the sake of putting out posts, if I'm gonna put something out there, I want it to be good, I want people to enjoy reading it or at least find it somewhat interesting. That being said however, I will do my best to be more consistent, but at the same time put out quality content, cuz that's the most important thing in my current stage of life, thanks!