Dear Nice Guy

I'm reminded by a conversation I had a real good homie a while back...specifically how I think he's a super nice,down to earth and chill dude and vice versa. We were just sharing with each other our hearts...specifically relationships and just our thoughts about it and experiences...and I shared with him how I had no doubt...NO DOUBT...that we will find good girlfriends...because we're good guys, genuine nice guys and we deserve it, straight up. Fast forward to the present like a week ago I was driving my friend home and she and I were talking about my other friend who's been thinking about relationships a lot lately cuz he's getting at that age and I guess he knows a lot of people who are married or engaged at a really early age and you could say he's feeling the pressure...I told her how I have NO DOUBT he will find a girlfriend, a wife...he's just gotta have patience and trust in God, I know it's hard. But any ways...back to this...this is a letter of encouragement to you...nice guy. You may or may not be struggling or having trouble with girls...with relationships...wondering if she's the one...or wondering if you'll ever find the one. Keep persevering...most importantly...NEVER change for anyone...to get a girl to like you...to get anyone to like you. To all my nice guys...I genuinely believe in my heart of hearts that every girl secretly wants a guy who will treat them like they're the only girl in the world. Keep persevering nice guy...your time will come. It's hard I know...seeing girls you like end up with guys that aren't you...or seeing girls in general be with dudes who don't treat them right...and you ask yourself if there's something wrong with you...NO...keep your head up nice guy...I believe in you...I believe in the nice guy...in being a nice guy...in old school, cheesy, romantic love. If that's you...stay the course nice guy...your time is coming...be patient, have  a little faith...I PROMISE there is a perfect, special girl waiting for you...waiting for a nice guy to sweep her off her faith...a girl who's tired of dating idiots...stay the course nice guy...I believe in you.

York'd

Man...what a day...more like what a night lol. For those who don't know...as in those you who either reading this outside of Canada or those who simply don't follow the news or aren't well informed...my school York University is going on strike at midnight...for how long who knows, but classes will be cancelled. It sucks cuz I'm trying to graduate this year...finish classes in April. take one course in summer school and then graduate in October. With this strike who knows what's going to happen...who knows how long it'll be...what's going to happen to the courses in progress...are they going to be extended or whatever...what about tuition that's already been paid and stuff. It's just really annoying...to add onto that now I'm going to have an ENORMOUS amount of free time...I literally have nothing to do cuz I'm not working atm either...like damn...if this were any other year other than the year I'm trying to graduate...I would welcome the strike with open arms...dang this is just a big wrench in A LOT of people's plans. But hey...I''m trying to stay calm...well I am calm...for the most part...it's just a real big hassle and a mess...God...I'm trusting you...and your plan for me...for all of this...I know I'll graduate...in due time, whenever...it's just dang...this whole thing is so messy...and unnecessary. God...with so much time on my hands...give me a sign...show me something...what am I supposed to do about all this...I have faith tho.

Time Flies, White Lies

It's March...whoops. So much for the whole making posts everyday...and to think I was doing so well in January. See the thing is...well what happened was...man...damn...I'm just sorry lol. I have posts lined up...not even gonna say I didn't have time cuz that would be a lie...it just slipped my mind, I forgot...things happened. I'm sorry...but it's March...give me another chance, I know I always say that but I really do wanna make a conscious effort to put more time into this blog...not necessarily put more heart cuz my heart is always on this blog...but more time you know, sorry, if time really is tight sometimes...I'll consider writing from my phone...thanks for sticking with me...for continuing to make this blog what it is today, peace.

Life Goes On

I met up with a friend I haven't seen in a while and sometimes...those kinds of relationships are nice...ones where you haven't seen the person in a while, but when you do meet, you see how much they've grown or changed. I love chilling and talking with this friend because we're so open, honest and comfortable with each other. We talked about everything...and it's just crazy how much we've been through together...and the people and that come and gone in both our lives. It brought me to this topic of life...and how it moves on...nothing truly lasts forever. We talked about childhood friendships or friendships we've had for a really long time...how some have endured, some have faded and some may be hanging on a thread. Sometimes you just have to recognize when it's time to cut ties with someone...you can't be constantly holding onto the fact that you used to be best friends or that you've known them for a certain amount of time. Sometimes people just grow in different directions, change in different ways...that you just can't be friends. I've had to end lengthy friendships simply because it wasn't healthy or I just didn't see eye to eye/know the other person any more. On the other hand I've worked my butt off to preserve lengthy relationships because I felt it was worth it. Life goes on tho...you can't hold onto past memories of someone...because that may not be the person that they are today. My friend and I were talking about church...all the people that have come and gone...all the things that have happened...how yeah it is sad to think about sometimes...but it was all necessary for us to get to where we are today...and each person that came, stayed and or gone...each situation that happened...helped us get to where we are today. We reminisced to all the times we shared together with our friends...how it was a simpler time back then...but that's life...we're growing up...finishing school...life is just beginning...and it's crazy, scary, yet so exciting at the same time. I was sharing on twitter how as nice as it is sometimes to reminisce and think about the past...it's not good to dwell in it and compare it to the present and wish things were different. The past is the past...you can't relive it...you can reminisce about it, but you can't relive it. The people in your life for example...it's cool to reminisce about the people you were once close with or whatever...but to sit and sulk wishing you were still close to them does nothing. I've learned as of late to appreciate the present...to appreciate my surroundings. I've been just really focusing on the now....while thinking and planning for the future...and occasionally sitting back and reminiscing about the past. The now is where we're at and that is what I'm currently focusing on...what I'm doing now and the people that are currently in my life...that is what is important and that is what I'm concerning myself with. I'm super appreciative and thankful for the people that are in my life right now...all that we've been through...how close that we've grown. That's what's important to me right now...the present...my surroundings...my friends...my family...and what's on my plate. As nice as it is to reminisce...to think about a time...a person...life goes on...and so should you.

Clear & Calm Waters

I've bel really peaceful as of late...well at least more than I usually am. Life as of late has literally been school, church and basketball in a nutshell. I was chilling with my boys tonight and I was telling them how I haven't really been seeing or chilling with anybody but my church friends as of late. How my phone has been really quiet cuz I haven't been texting many people. I haven't cut anybody out don't get me wrong, it's just everyone is busy with their own lives ou know. Aside from my church friends, I haven't been in contact with many of my other friends aside from the 2 guys I saw today. My friend said well why is that, what's wrong with saying hi or sending a text, it's not gonna add any stress to your life. I couldn't answer it lol...I just said I know everyone is busy with their own things in their own lives, which is true. I used to see these 2 guys everyday pretty much, now it's different cuz we go to different schools, but I don't him that doesn't mean we're still not close friends, cuz the time that we do chill and get together, it's still love you know. I do apologize to the friends I haven't been in contact with...but at the same time, why haven't you nessaged me? Regardless, it's not a debste or a concern lol. Back to the point that I've been real peaceful as of late...and it hit me today...aside from school and church and stuff...which stresses me out...that's life. I asked myself why am I so calm...what's missing...that's when it hit me...drama. There's no drama in my life...and it's absolutely beautiful. I'm not chasing any girls, thinking of it, but that's different. Usually it's always like oh shoot I think I like this girl or oh shoot his friend is mad at me or whatever and there's always drama. As of late it's been peaceful...just straight business...and I like it that way. My friend asked me is that a good thing? Yes and no...I would say...zero certain extents....yes because it's peaceful, it's quiet, I'm happy. No in a sense where I've isolated myself from friends or I haven't really tried to keep in contact. But ts like if we do talk or chill it's still all love, the situation just hasn't presented itself. But anyways...life is good as of late...quiet, peaceful, busy in terms of work load...but it's good, I'm content.

The Background

Lecrae's song Background...also on my playlist for the blog has been really speaking to me. How sometimes...for me at least...I try to take control of my own life and like I want things my way, I want this, I want that. When in reality...I should be submitting to God and in the plan that he has for me. Sometimes I get so caught up in what I think is good for myself, how this will work, how that will work...when I just gotta chilllllllll...and let God take a lead. This refers to everything in my life...I was thinking a lot this week about what to talk about for Sunday school cuz I'll be teaching again tomorrow...I struggled so much about what would be a good topic to get them engaged...found old books and stuff...you know how I eventually decided on a topic...sitting eating breakfast, reading the bible and doing devos...it just hit me in the face...BANG, that would be a great topic. It's crazy how God works when you let him work. That's what I've been learning lately...to let God take control of every aspect of my life. As scary as the future is...as much as I want to have a say and know that there's a sense of security...I know God's got my back. It's like when Peter walked on water...the minute he began to doubt and see the wind...he sank...that's exactly like me...God's saying LET GO...I got you...but I see all the scary things around me...all the bad possibilities and I get scared and hold on even tighter...God, I know you're asking me to let go...to let you take control of my life...and I pray for strength to allow you to do so.

To My Future Wife Part 2

Part 1

I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, I can't wait to have a family with you, I can't wait to show you off to all my friends.I wanna go on fancy dinner dates for no special occasions where we dress up really nice for no reason. I wanna bring you breakfast in bed and spend all morning cuddling and watching cute, romantic movies. I wanna grow old with you...I wanna sit at the park with you and watch our kids play in the playground. I wanna comfort you....I wanna be there when you cry and so I can tell you that everything will be alright and that I'll always be there. I wanna tell my friends I can't chill with them today because I wanna spend time with you. I wanna surprise you at work with flowers for no reason. I wanna lead you in your walk with Christ...I want you to keep me accountable when I get too hot headed or am simply being stupid. I wanna be your best friend...I want you to confide in me your deepest thoughts, desires, feelings, goals and dreams. I wanna go on spontaneous dates with you, but I also wanna spend evenings at home with you doing nothing. I wanna be your superman...I wanna love and protect you. I want you to always feel safe and comfortable around me...I wanna be vulnerable around you...I want you to know every little detail, thought and secret that I never thought I'd be able to share with anybody. I wanna put you and your needs above my own. I wanna love you more than I love myself...and pour out every single bit of my heart to you. I want us to be open and honest with each other...through our mistakes and disagreements...I want us to be in the eye of the storm...to see each other at our worst and still persevere. I never want anything to come between us and more importantly I never wanna stop loving you...to my future wife.