Ask The Audience #2: Red Flags

Greetings friends, hope you're doing well...spending time time well...effectively, productive? Def losing track of days and time lol. I'll literally sit in bed sometimes and be like is there even a point in waking up, like what's there to even do? LOOL, yeah, it's gotten to that point...and I'm usually someone that thoroughly enjoys personal/alone time...but yeah, moving on lol...y'all really enjoyed the first installment of this series and I got a lot of really good feedback so here's the second installment of (say it with me)...ASK...THE...AUDIENCEEEEEEE, that's my bootleg wheel of fortune impression lol. Anyways, so last week the question I asked the audience was "what're things you consider must haves in a partner?" And you can find that link below before the post begins...

Ask The Audience #1: What Do You Look For In A Partner?

Today's question is the opposite actually, same deal, I asked 10 different people, 5 guys and girls of differing ages and relationship statuses the same question...

What are some things you consider red flags in a partner?
Guy #1: For red flags, some are she's too needy, like unreasonably needy. Asks for rides when they know I'm doing something? Gets out of hand with drinking or something that would make you worry and even though I dislike this one, trust your friends. If they don't like her then maybe there's a point. Oh my biggest one, if they ever put you down or make you feel small then it's pretty much over for me.
Girl #1: Red flags are anyone who just casually and constantly uses offensive words, someone who doesn't share same beliefs as me, and someone who's mean to workers.

Guy #2: Never thought about this one to be honest. For me I'll almost know right away if i don't like a girl and its just a feeling
Girl #2: Red flags, mismatching communication aka we communicated well as friends but in a relationship they put up w/ me more and vent to others then those people ask me if we're okay. Low EQ aka they cant read a situation and fight w/ me in front of friends or something. If they're too comfortable where they are since it makes me feel like they never want to change (FUN FACT IF THE FRONTAL CORTEX IS FULLY DEVELOPED AT 25 U PROLLY WON'T BE ABLE TO CHANGE A MANS HABITS). If I have to financially carry the team A LOT (since I never usually let my man pay as I pay for meals since he probably drives me). Double-standard/easily jealous of my guy friends when they hang out w/ girls too. I have way more red flags LOL but at the end of the day I overlook them because I believe that if you love more you gain more even if it ends in loss so I don't mind being hurt in the end if I enjoyed the in between

Guy #3: I think excessive partying is a red flag, smoking is definitely a red flag.
Girl #3: Red flags are momma's boys, druggies like if u don’t care about ur health how u gunna care about me and also the amount of girls he follows on Instagram,

Guy #4: Red flags would be girls who either don't say thank you when you pay for their stuff on a date or never at least offer to pay. That's a red flag because that means it's her expectation that you have to cover everything and you need to be doing it rather than being equal. A simple thanks would show appreciation, but then sitting there waiting to get everything and expecting it to be handed to them is a red flag. Another red flag would probably be anyone who's stubborn, because I'm quite a stubborn person and if that person is too then there\ll be a lot of conflicts. I also think people who always think negatively is a red flag, since that energy will bring you down, and optimism is key to a healthy stress free life. In a relationship you're supposed to bring each other up instead of bring yourself or each other down.
Girl #4: Red flag would be not liking my dog. Lol just joking, but I mean if you don't like dogs then you're prob not a cool person. In all seriousness I don't think I've dated enough ppl to have any red flags tbh.

Guy #5: People who constantly feel the need to talk about themselves. Lack of self awareness, also girls that say they don’t get along with other women.
Girl #5: Anger, or someone who is easily irritable SEE YA. If they have kids, buh bye. Shallow, only care what they look like/how I look. External: hairy, can’t dead with beards or back hair!

Quarantine Thoughts

Man, doesn't it feel like the March has been going on for like half a year...geez. The crazy thing is just thinking to yourself all the little things you took for granted like simply going out for food with your family and friends. Quarantine got me doing things like talking on the phone and facetiming the homies lol...two things I'm usually not the biggest fan of and don't usually do, but it's like man that\s our only source of connection nowadays. Seeing my friends on facetime was such a dope feeling, catching up, playing some stupid word/drawing game lol. Things are a bit better/busier since school is back on and I have a bunch of assignments that I gotta do...but there's so much time in the day that I end up loafting and pushing it off lol. It's crazu to think that because there's no clear end date, any kind of future plans and such get pushed back, canceled or are left up in the air. I've been mentioning how I was supposed to go to Singapore, Japan and Thailand this summer for about a month but that's up in the air/likely cancelled. My friends and I were planning different like road trips and cottages but that's all up in the air as well. As for school, everything is looking like it's going to end on time for my first year which is good, got most of my presentations done early int he year so I don't have to do all those makeup assignments that the people who didn't present yet have to. My placement got canceled which definitely sucks cuz I really enjoyed myself but I'm keeping in contact with my supervisor to hopefully help out in the future if they need it. I guess the only thing that's uncertain about school is my placement for second year beceause I'm supposed to find one by September but that's gonna be kinda hard with all of this going on with no clear end date. Moving on tho, since there's so much free time and not much to do...obviously a big thing everyone is doing is like watching shows, movies and just going on their phones, which obvs got my brain rolling and got me in my feels. Just thinking about like how you can be so close to certain people, share such intimate and personal moments, grow up with them...but then y'all fall out or grow apart and they begin to feel like strangers, it's such a crazy thought. I asked my friend cuz I was like man I haven't spoken to our mutual friend in like over a year and this is someone that I considered one of my closest friends, somebody I thought would be a lifelong friend...but with time, they've slowly began to feel like a stranger and all that's really left are memories. To which [ asked my friend...do you even see it being like it once was...and he was like tbh no, because y'all are just at different points in your life...and at that period of time, you were there for each other, you shared something really special that you'll probably never be able to recreate, but I think you'll be able to be cordial at least. Which kinda had me thinking about the numerous friends in my life that have come and gone...close friends, friends that I share real persona, deep and intimate moments with...how I would think to myself yeah we're gonna be friends forever...then life happens and things change and people move on. I think of it like a book, how some chapters are longer than others and some are shorter than others. Some people are in and part of your life for what feels like forever, for what feels like such a long period of time, but it's just a chapter, a short but seemingly long period of time in your life...and with any chapter in a book, they eventually come to an end, which is sad, but how does that cliche phrase go...you can't move on if you're still holding on and unwilling to let go. You can't move on to the next chapter if you're still dwelling on the previous one. Different people enter your life at different types and they serve different purposes...to help you grow, to teach you, you support you, to push and motivate you...some leave such a lasting impact that you don't want them to go, but they're only meant to be in your life for that specific period of time for that specific reason...and when they're purpose is done, it's time for them and for you to move on. I hope that all kinda makes sense and doesn't just sound like a bunch of gushy emotions lol...just something I've been thinking and really keeping to heart while browsing social media and seeing people and having hella memories flood my mind. With that, I hope your quarantine is going well, staying same, staying busy and practicing social distancing...till next time...PEACE.

Ask The Audience #1: What Do You Look For In A Partner?

Hey friends, so this is something new I wanted to try...until I eventually or inevitably get lazy, lose interest or lose motivation LOL. But I love hearing from you guys, I love the guest posts and it\s so refreshing from me always gushing about some random stuff lol. So I reached out to 10 different friends, 5 guys and 5 girls...all with different relationship statuses, dating histories and of different ages and backgrounds if that makes a difference as well lol. And I asked them all the same question...

What are some things you look for in a partner/what are things that are absolute must haves for you?
(I wanted to keep it as general as possible instead of saying what qualities or what features specifically because people prioritize different things, so when I keep it general, you get to see what people are really drawn to at first and what things first come to mind instead of narrowing it down)

Enjoy!

Guy #1: I think a couple must have things they gotta have is a heart to heart connection, like they understand and value you not just for things like stability or cause of good looks but they're with you because your hearts connect. That's kind of vague but I always look for a heart to heart connection, like I don't find it with a lot of the girls I date. Due to them being with me for my looks and having a "nice guy" image. Another thing though is, they gotta genuinely be nice. No fake nice to please people or to fit in.

Girl #1: Idk like tbh I've only ever dated one person so I don't have much dating experience LOOOOL, but for me I like people who are funny :), just anyone who can make me laugh and have a good time. Someone who is caring and thoughtful and someone who has balance.

Guy #2: Laughs easily, kind, smart, family oriented, open to new things/experiences, have a passion whether career or social work.

Girl #2: Ouu well as a Christian (since I'm taking it waaay more seriously than all my past relationships), 1) he has to be able to lead both in faith and in general. So like he has to be someone I can rely on to keep me in check if I'm stumbling and help me grow in faith. 2) Just a girl thing but he has to be bigger than me? Like he can be my height but I just wanna be protected so like wider?? LOL. 3) Fun/funny aka why I fall for hk boys, too much fun smh me. I'm pretty flexible on everything else tho (like I\d even let him stay home while I work) as long as they are someone who will always choose to be w/ me since I don't want to fight to keep them if they've already clocked out.

Guy #3: Similar sense of humour is definitely something I need in a girl and someone who can hold a conversation well because I suck lol. She needs to be passionate about something, or have something that she consistently wants to work towards.Similar interests are not necessary in my books because we both need to be open enough to try different things and have an open mind. And definitely need her to be understanding that we probably both need some personal space from time to time. And she needs to understand what my passions are and allow me to dedicate a good chunk of time to that.

Girl #3: What I look for in a guy is his height (over 5’8 at least), his smell (gotta smell good all the time), his voice (I like deep voices), his job (can’t be dealing with no drug dealer) and the way he carries himself (is he confident or a pussy).

Guy #4: They have to be motivated, if they don't have motivation to always want to be better than themselves, then how can they motivate me? And I want them to believe in themselves and love themselves, because if they don't love themselves, how can they love someone else? I want them to be passionate about the things they do, because I'm quite a passionate person. I also want them to have a good sense of humour and not be too uptight. They have to be able to be picked on and take it as a joke since I'm the type of person to make fun of people as a joke but it's all still love at the end of the day. 

Girl #4: Hmm must haves: funny, can tolerate me cuz I'm annoying sometimes, someone that I can be comfortable with since I don't find myself truly comfortable around many ppl and willing to communicate.

Guy #5: Must haves are probably a sense of humour, willingness to try new things, physical attraction, ambition, drive. Someone who takes pride in themselves and has self worth while remaining humble.
Girl #5: Internally: kind heart, they need to be compassionate and caring. Dog/pet lover (I think it shows a lot from a person if they can be caring towards a furry little friend).
External: mixed Asian/Mexican over 6 foot god :P. Humor, need to be able to laugh and play around together.

Dear Rodmond Part 2

Hey friends, I know it's been a minute since we've last spoke...obvs it's kinda a crazy time right now for everyone, literally got the new last week while in class that school was cancelled, then a couple days later another email saying placement was cancelled, then a message some more days later saying work was closed lol, everything seems to be moving really fast but time seems to be moving kinda slow since everyone's just kinda stuck at home for the most part. This is something I was working on for a few weeks when I was inspired by an old post I found, so I decided to write a part 2 to it. If you'd like to read part one, that'll be right here: Dear Rodmond

With that all being said, I hope you're doing well, getting some good rest and practicing social distancing to the best of your ability lol. I'll talk to y'all soon, for now enjoy...

Dear Rodmond,

Life has taken you on a journey, a lot of ups and downs
But now that I have your attention, why don’t you show me what you found?
I know you thought you found love, but it showed its true colours
I know sometimes it feels hopeless, but I promise there’ll be others

Getting high like the birds, I know you always wanted to fly
Sitting in the car at 3 am wondering if you’re that kinda guy
You’ve gotten much more confident, you hear it from your peers

Going on dates, public speaking, I see you’re conquering your fears

You’re growing up young man, more comfortable in your own skin
Credit getting older, your experiences and places that you’ve been
Work hard but stay humble, there’s always room to grow

Be open to criticism and advice, cuz there's a lot you don't know

Your heart like your tattoos, you wear it on your sleeve
Confusing love and lust, thinking it’s something that you really need
I know you very well, I know you think you’ve changed a lot

I know you like to say you’re fine when you’re having negative thoughts

You’re still that same kid that started a blog and shared it with a few
You’re just a little older, a little wiser and you hit a million views
Tattoos and long hair, but to the core you’re still the same
The things you believe in, your values and your approach to the game

I really gotta get going, but I’m glad we had this chat
Self-care is really crucial, I hope you’re making time for that
When life gets tough, don’t forget to take a step back and breathe
I hope this letter finds you well and puts your mind back at ease

Sincerely,
RT

So What's Next?

So now that we’ve hit a million views, the question a lot of people ask me…heck the question I ask myself, is what’s next? To be very honest with you guys, for a good portion of last year, I was heavily leaning towards quitting the blog. I was like, it just feels right...the blog was about to hit it’s 10th year anniversary and it just felt like good timing, 10 years is a long ass time when you think about it lol. Then I kinda thought to myself, well 1 million is like right around the corner, now that would be a super dope send off lol as weird as it sounds…hit a million then shut the blog down LOL. I dunno, for a lot of last year I just found it hard to motivate myself and I didn’t really have much to write about, I also didn’t wana keep rehashing old stories either. It kinda felt like I hit a dead end and I was like well maybe it’s time to call it quits lol. I don’t really know when the turning point happened either, I don’t think it was a specific moment but more of a progression, the blog became a place I enjoyed coming to again, a place where I found peace and comfort in sharing with y’all what I was going through. A big part of that was me understanding and reminding myself that it’s not necessary to always put out crazy and wild stories or hit y’all with awe inspiring and encouraging posts…sometimes the simple things like just updating y’all with my life or sharing what’s on my mind was sufficient, and it also lifted a big weight off of me cuz I always feel pressure to put out dope, interesting content or think of funny and captivating captions to get people to click on the post.

With that all being said, the question now is what’s next? A lot of people’s initial reaction is like oh 2 million right? I don’t wanna say the numbers aren’t important cuz they do play a factor in motivating me for sure, but it’s not the only thing. I will say that kinda like that first championship or first…I dunno, first anything…there really is nothing like your first. Hitting one million as much as I said it wasn’t, was a pretty big deal for me. Hitting 2 million would be hella dope don’t get me wrong, but it definitely wouldn’t be the same feeling as hitting 1 million, so as much as getting more views is a goal, it’s not my top priority. My current mindset towards the blog is that well, as I continue to journey through life, I’m gonna continue to experience ups and downs, setbacks, detours, triumphs and victories…and as I continue to go through life, I’m gonna continue to bring y’all with me along for the ride. It’s kinda like you’re riding shotgun, but the car is my life and we’re just journeying together, you can get out whenever you want, but I’d appreciate the company lol. As for specifically what’s next, I really do hope to do a layout change (got damn uniqlo) for the blog, but I’m not good with that html design stuff whatever, so bear with me, it’ll probs be sloppy and simple lol. I don’t really have much planned atm lol, I’ve never been an very structured or schedule kinda person, I’m more a go with the flow, spontaneous guy lol. That’s why a lot of posts are really last minute cuz I get inspired randomly and just get to writing. All I can really say is to expect more of the same, because why change what works, but also not all change is good. I wanna keep being open, honest and transparent with y’all, as I grow as a man and an individual, I wanna share with y’all everything I’m learning about life and about myself. I don’t wanna sound cheesy but again, thank you for 1 million, thank you for the love and support over the years. It really does encourage me to keep moving forward when I really don’t feel like it. So till next time, peace!

ONE MILLION VIEWS

What can I say that hasn't already been said over the years...one million views...it even sounds weird to say, because it's something I never thought or expected to ever happen. I used to joke and dream about one day reaching a million, but that's all I ever saw it as...a joke and a dream. To be very honest, when I was younger and I thought about hitting one million views, I was like this is it, it would mean I've blown up, that I'm like a celebrity LOOL. But now that I'm older and I think much more realitiscally lol...1 million views...to me, it means that y'all really vibe with what I say and the content that I put out, which means the world to me. This blog literally came from and started from nothing...just a blog to post funny and dope videos, but it's become a place where I share with y'all my deepest, innermost thoughts..a place where I share with you guys my ups and my downs and my feelings on anything and everything. At the end of the day, as DOPE as it is and as THANKFUL as I am, I know that one million is just a number...and the views are just a statistic...like I said, it just moreso means that y'all really enjoy or dig what I say enough to want to keep coming back. Hitting one million views has made me look back at where it all started...to the days where even some of my friends didn't believe in me and would roast the blog...which I don't blame them because I didn't really take it that seriously anyways. I think about my posts getting a few views and sometimes no views...I think about how excited I got when the blog hit 1,000 views, then how much more excited I got for 10,000, then 100,000. Seeing the evolution of the blog has been crazy, seeing the evolution and growth of myself has been even more crazy. I know I've been posting less, and part of it is laziness but a big part of it has honestly been me wanting to focus more on quality rather than shoving down an uninspired post down your throat for the sake of it. One million has come and come...and I'm ready for the next chapter and next challenge of the blog and of life and I'm super stoked to take you guy with me on that journey. There's probably a small handful of y'all that have really seen the evolution of the blog from nothing to what it is now...and it's just crazy isn't it. Sometimes I'll scroll through old posts really quick and I'm like man that was hella cringe, how did people even read this LOL. I think about all that people that have helped me throughout my life...inc high school, to university, to post grad, to now...I think about all the people that I've written to, for or about and also all that people that inspired a lot of posts that I've written. As much as this is my blog, it really is a team effort in a weird way because I find a lot of my inspiration from the people around me, they inspire me through conversations, encouragements and through actions as well. I definitely couldn't have done this without y'all, as much as one million views is for me, it's also for you guys as well because you play a big part in making it all happen. Welp, there I go being all cliche and corny again lol...I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for supporting me, for encouraging me and for being there when I need you.

Much Love,
Rodmond

Here are some DOPE photos my boy took of me during the snowstorm LOL. I call this the bucket list because I wanted to paint a picture of how far we've come after hitting one million. And I figured it'd be appropriate to do so by showing y'all exactly just how long it has been and how far we've come and how many people we've reached.