Self-Awareness

Before I start, I just wanted to say thank you to a bunch of y'all that read my update post and reached out to be and offered support and encouragement, truly appreciated all of it. That post really blew up for some reason, I'll knew truly comprehend the fact that it's always the most randomest posts that I don't put much thought or effort into that end up blowing up...and the ones that I take my time with, put a lot of thought into and think are really dope that just do average numbers lol. With that being said, this is the second of three posts that I wrote in the span of a day...all kinda similar because I was running on that same emotion and feeling...all while listening to a lot of Sam Smith lol...enjoy.

Self-awareness is very important, but it’s also something not everyone is good at. Not everyone knows and understands themselves as well or as much as they should. But at the same time, just because someone is self-aware doesn’t always mean they end up doing what is best for them even tho they know what it is. I’m somebody that wears my heart on my sleeve and I act on emotions and they drive me…I know this, but I still fall into the trap of thinking with my heart instead of thinking with my head. This blog has played such a big part in shaping me into a very open and honest person, there’s very little that I don’t share on this blog and there isn’t much that I’m opposed to talking about in person. It might be awkward at first, but I’ll warm up to it. I am somebody that gets invested in things very quickly, especially if the vibe is right and it just feels right…again, I’m an emotionally driven and gut feeling kinda person. It leaves me very vulnerable when I do open up and very susceptible to getting hurt because I put my emotions into everything I do. One of my best friends is literally the exact same way…and we always find ourselves in similar situations where one of us is going through something and the other is giving advice, trying to paint the bigger picture and remind the other that in time, it’ll all be fine (BARS). We’re both people that dive head first into things like relationships…and when we jump, we go all in with no regrets lol. The thing with running on emotions…is when you’re in it, you literally throw common sense and being realistic out the window because you’re so deep into your emotions. It’s funny because I know all of this, but like I said, I throw any kind of sense out the window when I’m fully immersed and invested into something. It’s funny cuz as I type and reread that last sentence, I think about all the crazy things I’ve did and almost done for girls because I had a ‘good feeling’, and I think about all the crazy things my friend has did and almost done for girls because of the same…and I laugh lol, man we’re dumb. I’m also a lingerer and I have trouble letting things go, but someone said it best to me when they said you can’t find and grab onto something if you’re still holding on to something else. You can’t move on if you don’t let go. Like I said in the previous post, the older I get…the better I’m understanding myself, my emotions and how to handle different situations. That just comes with life, with maturity and with experience. But it also helps to have a really good support system around you, people you can go to who’ll just listen when you need it and give advice when you want it or just be straight up and say you’re being dumb when you need it. I’m thankful for the people around me who both similar and different from me because they give me different perspectives and opinions, things I would have never thought of or seen in that light because I just don’t think that way. So as much as it’s good to surround yourself with like minded and similar people, you also gotta throw in some contrast and surround yourself who are polar opposite or completely different because they offer you such a different view and perspective that you yourself would never be able to come up with.