From The Heart #4

From The Heart #1
From The Heart #2
From The Heart #3

Hey friends, it feels like it's been a while...has it? I've been lacking motivation as of late...wasn't even sure if I'd get a post out today, but here I am...writing. I guess let's just get straight into it. One of the worst feelings is when things are out of your control...wishing you could do more. When relationships end, friendships weaken, people leave...it sucks because in most of these situations, it's out of your control, I don't wanna say it doesn't hurt, but it definitely hurts less because you tell yourself there was nothing you could do about it anyways. You're kinda just left wondering if you could've done more...if I could've done more...

More to make you stay...
More to make you like me...
More to make you happy...
More to make you feel better...
More to make things feel like they used to...
More to make you feel welcome or comfortable...
More to make you understand...

Each of these statements represents somebody or a situation in my life where I was left wondering if I should've done more, if I could've done more. There's a lot of people in my life that kinda just walked away or distanced themselves...whether from me or in the place/situation that we were in. Again, it leaves you wondering what you could've done to make them stay...whether fixing something about yourself or their situation. The thing is, with people I've been close to...you don't just stop caring for somebody that once meant so much to you y'feel? I always wonder how they're doing, if they're happy or sad, how their life is going. I've seen so many relationships and friendships fail...my own especially...but I guess in the case of people simply leaving or walking out of your life, it never gets any easier. You build bigger walls, you close yourself off a bit more and you make it more difficult to open up to others and vice versa.