Are You A Good Friend?

I personally think one of the most important qualities in being a friend is listening. But listening goes so much further than just hearing the words that are coming out of somebody else's mouth. You listen to reply, to advise, to comfort, or sometimes just to hear. Sometimes, you're listening to give feedback, to help the other person out. Other times, you have to know when to shut up and just let the person talk and vent and express. A good question to also ask yourself is how often do you speak or how often do you listen, it's a good kinda question to ask yourself among all your friends/groups of friends. Friendship is a two way street...I have...had...have (are we still friends?) this one friend who would always confide in me and would never really ask me about my life or allow me to talk, it would always kinda go back to them...to the point where it literally made me feel like their therapist and not their friend. Speaking and listening are equally important in a friendship in my opinion. One thing I hate is talking to people and being able to tell that they don't really care about what you're saying or they're not really interested...they're only asking out of curiousity for gossip or news purposes...they don't really care about me. I can sense that really easily and I in turn cut what I say really short or am very half hearted about it...cuz who wants to share something with somebody that doesn't care you know. On the other hand, I had this one friend...whom I miss very dearly, but that's life...we shared a very special connection...I would look into her eyes and automatically know what was up and whether or not something was bothering her...and vice versa. There was one time I saw it on her face that something was up and I kept probing but she kept brushing it off and saying nothing was wrong. I took her aside and asked her what was up and she finally budged. Sometimes, being a friend...LITERALLY MEANS...just being there, being open ears to hear and listen intently. Cuz there's listening, then there's a listening that's engaging. In my lectures, I'm listening in a way where I'm there but I'm not really there y'feel. Y'all of heard of the saying being slow to speak and quick to listen. Everyone has something to say,stories to tell...it takes patience and a caring heart and attitude to really listen. When you're really listening, the person can feel it and in turn...feel safe, comfortable around you and that's when friendships really go deeper than surface level.