I Wrote You This Letter

This is one of those rare occasions where I hit y'all with an early post. So I"m at school right now, sitting in the library and my focus is like pretty much out the window, so I need a little bit of a distraction. So I was looking through an old textbook that I accidentally brought to school and this one note fell out of it. Rewind back to a hella emotional period in my life...like a couple years ago probably...a time when I had fallen pretty hard for this one girl, harder than I've ever fallen for anybody, no joke. There had been plenty of words I had never said to her, words I could never write on this blog because I knew she would read it. So I wrote written letters to her, like short letters...I ended up just distributing them around school...it's like letters you write but never intend to mail it...but I didn't wanna keep it, so I just left it, for somebody else to read and at the bottom would be the link to my blog (subtle plug of course). So I spent the past half an hour looking through my blog trying to find that post...cuz I swear I took pictures of them and made a post about it...but I couldn't find it...and maybe that's for the better, it's kinda like when you break up with somebody and you're hesitant to throw away their stuff, delete their text messages, etc. Maybe it's better I didn't find that post and relive those emotions. So anyways, I'm flipping through the old textbook and this paper falls out...and I read it...and it's what inspired this post. It's apparently a letter, the last letter written to her...to you...that I never got around to leaving behind. Definitely gives me chills...but also reminds me of what a better place that I'm in currently. Thank you for that...for the ups, the downs and the growth and maturity in which you provided me.

Are You The Problem Or The Solution?

So yesterday night, I'm in my room chilling...it's like midnight ish. I start smelling smoke, like it smells like something's burning...I start like smelling things around my room thinking maybe it's something in my room. It isn't, I kinda brush it off...the smell gets even stronger and I'm like what the heck is that? I go downstairs and turns out my dad had been boiling some chicken or something and told my mom to watch, she had fell asleep and all the water had dried up and the pot was like burning, so that's what the burnt smell was coming from. So my mom's like on the couch so I'm like yo, what's that smell and she freaks out and like I move the pot and tell her to open the windows cuz the smoke detectors gonna ring. Like 20 seconds later it starts ringing lol, so I'm like fanning around the smoke detector to get it to stop and my dad comes down and he somewhat goes off on my mom like oh I told you to watch the pot, if you were by yourself you would've burned the house down and such. So I'm kinda annoyed, so I turn to him and I'm like why would you say that...like how is that helpful whatsoever, it already happened, it was an accident, it could've been worse, be thankful nothing serious happened. So that got me thinking...I know I always tell you guys I catch flack for being an on the fence kinda guy...I see it as someone who enjoys seeing both sides of something. But if I were to choose...and as of late, I'd be a glass half full kinda guy, I like to see the good in things, in people, in circumstances...or at least I try. Random side note...aside from optimists and pessimists, there are people who consider themselves 'realists', who try to see things from a realistic point of view. In my opinion, those are just disguised pessimists, or at least I'd put them in a sub category of pessimist. Anyways, back to what I was saying...so I told my dad like what's the point in going off or getting mad, it already happened. It made me think of just life situations in general...if your friend fails a test...what's your response...are you the kinda person to go oh well you should've studied harder, shouldn't have waited till last minute...or are you the kinda person who would be like good try, but next time study a bit earlier, don't procrastinate. How you say something is just as important as what you actually say. I understand some people need tough love and you need to be blunt...but at the same time, that doesn't work on everybody...and I'd like to think a good portion of people would respond to positive advice and straight up criticism.

"If you ain't lifting the burden, you probably adding to it." - Joe Budden

Are You A Good Friend?

I personally think one of the most important qualities in being a friend is listening. But listening goes so much further than just hearing the words that are coming out of somebody else's mouth. You listen to reply, to advise, to comfort, or sometimes just to hear. Sometimes, you're listening to give feedback, to help the other person out. Other times, you have to know when to shut up and just let the person talk and vent and express. A good question to also ask yourself is how often do you speak or how often do you listen, it's a good kinda question to ask yourself among all your friends/groups of friends. Friendship is a two way street...I have...had...have (are we still friends?) this one friend who would always confide in me and would never really ask me about my life or allow me to talk, it would always kinda go back to them...to the point where it literally made me feel like their therapist and not their friend. Speaking and listening are equally important in a friendship in my opinion. One thing I hate is talking to people and being able to tell that they don't really care about what you're saying or they're not really interested...they're only asking out of curiousity for gossip or news purposes...they don't really care about me. I can sense that really easily and I in turn cut what I say really short or am very half hearted about it...cuz who wants to share something with somebody that doesn't care you know. On the other hand, I had this one friend...whom I miss very dearly, but that's life...we shared a very special connection...I would look into her eyes and automatically know what was up and whether or not something was bothering her...and vice versa. There was one time I saw it on her face that something was up and I kept probing but she kept brushing it off and saying nothing was wrong. I took her aside and asked her what was up and she finally budged. Sometimes, being a friend...LITERALLY MEANS...just being there, being open ears to hear and listen intently. Cuz there's listening, then there's a listening that's engaging. In my lectures, I'm listening in a way where I'm there but I'm not really there y'feel. Y'all of heard of the saying being slow to speak and quick to listen. Everyone has something to say,stories to tell...it takes patience and a caring heart and attitude to really listen. When you're really listening, the person can feel it and in turn...feel safe, comfortable around you and that's when friendships really go deeper than surface level.

Blessings On Blessings On Blessings

First off, happy thanksgiving, hope y'all are enjoying your time of rest, of family, friendship and of course...thankfulness. I just wanna share something with y'all right now, something I tweeted earlier. "Looking back is nice every now and then, but it also distracts and slows you down from moving forward." That's kinda where my mindset has been at as of late...I've been looking back a lot...and it's been tripping me out, slowing me down. Like literally, picture yourself running a race, they tell you to keep your eyes front, at the finish line, when you look to the sides to see where your opponent's are, that's when you get slowed down. Imagine even just walking down a trail...you turn to look back, you either stop to get a good view, or you keep walking and possibly try, stumble or walk into a tree. So as much and as nice as it is to look back sometimes...as of late, I've been having to constantly redirect my focus forward, to what's in front of me. My friend asked me how I was doing...aside from school and the regular stuff. I said to be honest, not much...I'm kinda focused on the path that's in front of me, which just so happens to BE school...and just chilling literally with like the 2 groups of friends that I've allowed into my deepest of inner circles. I honestly don't have time, nor do I really wanna deal with...well, stupid stuff to be honest...drama, baggage, arguments...I'm been just hella mellow as of late...and I've been surrounding myself with some really good and positive people and it makes me really happy and it makes life so much easier. With that all being said...these are some of the things I'm thankful for this year. My family...who works harder than I'll ever being able to understand or appreciate, y'all are forever the unanimous MVP's. THE squad...if y'all don't know how you are, then shoutouts to O, K, H, N. Y'all keep me sane...and entertained. Some things you can't really explain, it just clicks...and works, you know...this is one of those things...where common interests, sense of humours, ambitions and personalities collide, y'all are real ones. My church homies, I only say my church homies cuz I don't know what else to call y'all...you keep me grounded and push me to move when I'm stagnat and I appreciate that greatly...to have an outlet for physical, mental and of course spiritual support is really encouraging and reassuring. I'm thankful for life, for the comfort. joys and failures of life...it makes it worth living, it gives purpose you know. I'm thankful that God has placed me where I am, in this specific situation, with specific people...all to help me grow and learn and hopefully pour that out onto others. God is good, but that's never changed...just me forgetting to remember and show love and praise for Him. I hope y'all are doing wonderful, till next time, peace.

Note To Self (A Guide To True Love)

This may be directed to myself...but anyone can takeaway whatever they like and/or whatever they choose do. Just some things I thought I'd remind and caution myself on...from experience, from observing, from living.

Dear Rodmond,

Find someone who makes you happy, that's probably the most fundamental thing.

Don't find someone you can live with, instead find someone you can't live without.

Find someone who won't just tolerate your annoying hobbies, but will show genuine interest in at least understanding why you like it so much.

Find someone who compliments you and I don't mean by telling you you look nice everyday. But find someone who compliments you the way peanut butter compliments jelly. Finding someone who compliments you doesn't necessary mean they have to be hella similar to you, after all...they do say opposites attract. You'll know and feel if someone genuinely and naturally compliments you.

Find someone who'll love you for you.

Find someone who makes you feel like time is moving real fast, yet at the slow whenever you're with them.

Find someone who pushes you and challenges you to do and be better.Someone who won't just help you grow, but walk and grow with you at the same time.

Find someone you love spending time with, where even the most mindless of activities are enjoyable. When who you're with outweighs and makes what you're doing irrelevant.

Find someone you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with, through thick and thin, ups and downs, surprises and arguments, till death do you part.

Sincerely,
RT

Unapologetic

One of the rare occasions I get inspired and actually finish a piece in less than an hour and not loaft and leave it for a couple of days and have to channel myself to re-feel the emotions I felt when I first started. Late night 3 am thoughts.

Does This Count As Cheating?

DAMN...okay, so I wrote this HELLA long post...kinda venting but not really...I deleted it, cuz it was just the same old nonsense...and y'all don't deserve that. I had a dope post lined up and I'm sticking to that. To sum it all up...life is about choices. Specifically, picking and choosing who you want to surround yourself with. Picking and choosing which people you want to invest your time, effort and emotions in. Picking and choosing which friendships are worth fighting for and prolonging...and picking and choosing which people simply aren't good or meant for you...for whatever reason. There are many times where I'll text a friend to chill and won't get a reply, or argument will happen and I kinda leave it alone...it's all about choices. So because of that, there are a lot of people who I may not be close to anymore...it's just how the game works. If I saw them in the street, it would be all love, we'd talk, catch up...but I wouldn't make a conscious effort to message them and ask them to chill...choices. Choosing to invest in particular people and groups of people over others...we all do it.

On to today's post...and I promise it's a good one, hopefully. So a LONG while ago...when I got my g1...I bought the book and I was like DANG, this is a lot of reading. My boy ended up sending me a link to this site with an online quiz and he's like these are the questions they use on the g1, he's like I just did the quiz over and over until I memorized all the answers. So day and night, I kept doig the quiz until I got perfect every time...come the real test, the questions were exactly the same, just a little different wording. So fast forward to present day now. Last year I took this course called 'the psychology of women'. I bought the text book used from this girl and she's like oh, do you want the test bank for an extra $5, I'm like what's that. She's like it's pretty much a list of questions with the answers and the prof chooses it and makes the exam...I'm like what...so you pretty much have the exam on you. She's like yeah...I'm like yeah right, I bought it anyways cuz I figured it would be a good study tool to quiz myself. So I went to class, did the reading and such like normal and here and there I would go over the test bank. Come exam time...I'm like yo, wait...why do these questions AND answers look so familiar...that's when I realized that the questions and answers on the exam were EXACTLY the same ones as they were on the test bank. I ended up getting like an 80 something on the exam. I still wasn't convinced tho, I was like hmm...maybe it's just coincidence, so I still went to class like normal, did A BIT of readings...and focused more on just rereading and memorizing the test bank to see if it would really work. Come second exam...it was EXACTLY the same once again. BRUH....after that exam, I stopped going to class, I stopped doing readings...I just reread the test bank for each chapter OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. Keep in mind, each exam covered like 4 chapters and each chapter on the test bank had like 100 questions and the exam only had like 100 questions...so the amount of EXCESS information/knowledge I was taking in was ridiculous. But it got to a point where on the exam, I DIDN'T EVEN READ THE QUESTIONS...I would recognize all the answers and just circle the right one LOOOOL. I ended up getting like a 90 something on the course...man, it was actually hilarious The course is still running and the girl to this day is still selling that textbook and test bank along with stuff for other courses cuz she has it all on PDF files. MAN...you don't understand the amount of confidence and happiness I felt walking INTO and OUT OF the exams...I borderline looked forward to the exams cuz I would finish it in like half an hour and the prof would look at me like dang bruh....LOOOL

Oh btw, to answer the question cuz I know people are gonna go off...no, it's not cheating cuz the prof apparently hands these things out, cuz I asked her how she got it and she was like yeah the prof gave it to me...or something like that. It definitely felt like cheating at certain points...like after I stopped going to class and stopped doing the readings LOL. But seeing my GPA go back up to what I was striving for eased my mind.