When I Look Back...

So I was listening a bunch of podcasts today when I was driving to and from the gym and I realized I’m super picky, like in the same way with shows and stuff...I’m not a fan of the most popular podcasts or shows. For example I’ve never seen Game of Thrones, Stranger Things, Suits...some of the most popular shows I’ve never seen or they just don’t interest me. So when it came to podcasts I realized I’m super picky, I usually go to like most popular or most viewed and pick one but I realized a lot of them didn’t appeal to me and ended up going with a lesser known one but it was with a dude I knew and watched on YouTube so I knew I’d like his personality. Anyways so when I was driving I was thinking a lot about the past. And if you’ve known me for a while you’ll know what I’m talking about when I say I was thinking about the 2k vlogs, the rap videos, all the poems I used to post or recite...I was thinking about that today when I was driving and I was like damn, as hella cringe as all that stuff is it definitely helped build my confidence cuz I was only in high school back then. I mean I’m still not the most confident dude but back the o was hella shy and hello quiet and would’ve never imagined putting out videos or expressing my thoughts so openly and publicly. Like at first it obviously took a toll on my self esteem cuz when you’re like 16-17 it’s like shoot what if people don’t like it, what if people make fun of you, all that Jazz. But thinking about it how...that stuff was the beginning of me being comfortable with who I am regardless of what people think cuz that’s something you can’t control. Then of course my mind wandered elsewhere...to the heartbreaks, the hard times, the stresses, the moments in my life I didn’t think I’d make it through and how I did and how it shaped me, how it taught me and how it made me who I am today and instilled the beliefs, the views and the wisdom/experiences that I carry with me. When I look back...everything that happened played a part in getting me to where I am today and becoming who I am today. We all have moments we look back on where we regret, we cringe, we get embarrassed and stuff but all that stuff happened to get you to where and who you are today. So when I was able to take that moment today to look back it was cool lol, I laughed, I cringed, I panicked a bit but all with the bigger picture in mind that it was also all necessary...so yeah that’s just my little moment of reflection for the day...till next time, peace!