Be Comfortable Being Yourself

I feel like the older you get, the more of a concerted effort you have to make to hang out with your friends and to keep up with your friends. Which is both a good and bad thing...for one I’m just a naturally lazy person and most of the time my idea of fun is just loafting around doing nothing LOL. It’s good in that it puts the onus on you to ask your friends how they’re doing or if they wanna chill. When you’re young you see your friends in school every single day that any other times you guys spend together outside of school is just bonus. Whereas when you’re out of school and working, you really have to make an effort to flex your schedule and find a mutual time for all your friends to meet up and hang out. But when y’all do find that time to meet and hang out, it’s those moments that make the greatest memories. Which kinda brings me to the main chunk of my post and what I was inspired by. I was actually inspired by an argument with a friend but I’ve also been inspired by one of my coworkers. I chill with her quite a bit just cuz our personalities click and we vibe really well. I don’t tend to let a lot of people in and definitely not that quickly, maybe that’s a reason why I don’t go out in big groups with my coworkers, who knows. So anyways I had an argument with a friend and we haven’t been on speaking terms since and it just had be thinking about the friends and kinds of people I want to surround myself with. Take my coworker for example, I’ve known her for however long I’ve been working but I feel like I can be my natural, goofy, immature self around her. When it comes to the friend I had the argument with, they were always complaining I’m too immature or too goofy or not serious enough, which don’t get me wrong I get can be a bad thing. But if I’m constantly around someone who complains about simply who I am...then that’s not a fun person to be around tbh. I mean my point is that I don’t wanna feel like I can be my complete self when I’m around someone, whether goofy, serious, funny, happy, whatever. You know that meme where it’s like you don’t know how weird you can be around someone because you just met them. I don’t wanna have to feel like I have to hold back certain parts of myself to please people. I mean if they’re your friends you should be able to be your own embarrassing self. Take this for example, you’re going to meet your boyfriend or girlfriends parents for the first time...obviously you’re going to dress to impress (I hope) and present yourself in the best possible way, that includes how you speak and such. Essentially you’re trying to be on your best behavior and hope that they like and approve of you. When I’m around my friends or people I should feel comfortable with I don’t wanna have to feel like I need to be on my best behavior or that I’m putting on a show to please them. So real talks, surround yourself with people that make you feel comfortable. Comfortable in being yourself, whatever that means. My friends and the people that know me best know me as hella goofy, I’m always singing, my laugh is hella loud and borderline obnoxious, but I’m also quiet, reserved and I keep a lot of things in. I wanna be able to express all of that and be all of that when I’m around my friends and not feel like I have to hide or hold back certain parts for fear of judgement. So yeah that’s my little thing for the day...see y’all sooner than later I hope, peace!

Awkward Bedtime Conversations

Hey friends it’s been a while. So I was with a friend a couple of days ago and I told as reminded of this story. So a looong time ago, like a good couple of years ago my friend invited me and another one of my friends to his parents church’s retreat. Now none of use went to that church so we went knowing that we didn’t know anybody. So how it worked was that 2 people would share one room so my 2 friends decided to share a room as I think I said I didn’t care about sharing a room with a random person thinking that we’d have our own beds and we’d only be in the room to sleep anyways. So we get to the place and go check out our rooms only to find that each room only has one bed LOL. So my boy is like do you want to switch and I’m like whatever it’s cool, I get the name of the guy I’m sharing the room with and we go on a hunt to find the guy lol. So after meeting him we went through the day of like activities and stuff like a usual retreat. So come bedtime and the dude was like hey man if you’re uncomfortable we can put like a blanket or some pillows to create a divide and I’m like whatever it’s cool don’t worry lol. So here I am sleeping beside this dude that I just met the same day, we’re both trying to sleep. All of a sudden he goes hey man, I know this is kinda random especially since we’re in the same bed together, but you have a really warm personality LOOOOL. I’m like wtf that’s hella random and kinda creepy lol I didn’t really know how to respond so I like laughed and was like thanks man, appreciate it. He’s like yeah man, when I saw you walk in with your friends I was like yo he looks like a really cool dude LOOOL. So yeah that was that lol, the next day he was like sorry man that was super random I know lol I was just like nah man don’t even sweat it LOL. I think I found it super funny cuz no ones ever said something like that to me before lol. I mean Ive been told I have a very uninviting/unwelcoming demeanor most of the time which I fully agree with lol so to hear that was hella jokes lol. Anyways so after that retreat I never saw that dude ever again and we all lived happily ever after lol.

Fill It Up, Pour It Out

“I know I’m filled to be emptied again.”

This is a lyric from a Christian song and it always speaks to me and it’s probably one of my favorite lyrics. I was talking to a friend today and he’s a bit older than me and he was just asking me how I’ve been doing, how’s work, how’s church and stuff. He gave me a really good reminder cuz I was telling him how tired and drained I’ve been and he’s like hey man, you can’t pour from an empty cup. You’ve gotta be filled in order to be able to pour out to others. Whether it’s church, or at work...whether it’s getting rest in order to work your hardest...eating food to feel energized...or having a solid support group around you so that you can go and support and encourage others. You have to be filled in order to pour out. I think sometimes we (and me definitely as of late) get so caught up in trying to pour out onto other people whether it’s time, money, energy or whatever that we drain ourselves to the point we get tired, fatigued and it becomes a burden. It was a really nice to reminder because I’ve been struggling with the thought of oh am I being selfish because I’m putting some things on hold in order to refuel, to be filled. But I was reminded today that you can’t pour from an empty cup. You’ve got to be filled in order to pour out. So thank you for that, one thing I’ve realized is I don’t have many older friends in my life lol. And I say that because as much as you can learn from people younger than you, to be able to talk to an older person, someone who’s gone through and experienced the same thing you’re going through is such an encouraging feeling. I know I’ve been mia since we hit 600k, I’m sorry lol...tbh I wasn’t even planning on posting today, I was gonna do it tomorrow but I was hit with inspiration (like I always randomly do) and I went with it. So yeah see you guys soon, hopefully sooner than later!