Wow...so you know how usually like a week or so will go by and I'll be like wow that went by quick, I was so busy i didn't even notice...these 2 weeks were NOT the case. It felt hella long...and I've really missed talking to y'all. The question you may be wondering...is why'd you suddenly stop posting, why'd you suddenly wanna take a break? For many reasons to be honest...to get right with God for one, I spent the past two weeks writing in a journal, writing to God, praying for my friends...it was nice and it's something I wanna continue doing. I told y'all another reason was...well I had to really ask myself if I'm living out the words that I preach on this blog...or do I come onto this platform and become someone completely different from who I am in real life. That's something I had to figure out and work out on my own...that the me you see on this blog, the me you see in person, in church, in school, wherever it may be...is consistently the same person...that I'm the same regardless of where I am or where I'm speaking. It's something I'm still working on, but it's also something I'm trying to be more conscious of. So with that being said...I hope you've missed me as much as I've missed y'all, But I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm in a really, really good mental space right now...like I feel good, I'm in a good place right now...everything feels right. Truly, truly it all started with me clearing my mind, my heart and my plate and just sitting down and talking with God, making it a consistent and conscious part of my day. For the time being, I have a real clear view of what's in front of me...during the two months of straight blogging, my vision was cloudy, I had tunnel vision and kinda neglected a lot of things in my life. But yeah, I'm in a real good mental space right now, and I'm happy to be able to share everything I've been learning and such as of late.
So this is something I wanted to talk about the day I stopped blogging lol, because it happened the day before and I was so happy and so excited to share it with y'all. So I visited my teacher (the one I always talk about) the day before I took the break from blogging. We sat there after school for a good 2 hours just chatting...about life because I hadn't seen him since before Christmas break/ I was telling him about my struggles of debating between teacher's college and work and just a lot of uncertainty in life. He was saying how he's seen me grow from a shy, quiet kid...into a man, who speaks out and takes charge when necessary. I was just telling him how it's crazy that...that we're friends lol, that we can share with each other our problems. So I remember last year in the beginning of the school year when I was helping him as a teaching assistant, he was telling me how he was going through a divorce and such and I was real heartbroken for him because he said there was no real chemistry and they both only realized it when it was too late. I had asked him about the other intermediate teacher he worked with because they had this chemistry and best friend relationship you don't see very often and he said the exact words "Rodmond, don't infer", so I left it at that LOOOL. So now back to present time, I'm sitting in front of him and he was saying how his divorce was finalized a while ago and I was like so...uh, I know you said not to infer a while ago, but I gotta know...what's up with you and Ms. So And So (who is also divorced), he started laughing and goes did I say that? I'm like yeah bruh (I said bruh), you told me not to infer...so he keeps laughing and he goes...uh, yeah...well we're dating now LOOOOL. I start hyping up, I'm like ayyyyyyy...I literally stuck my hand out for a fist bump LOL, that's the relationship that we have. Seeing the joy and happiness in his face made me so happy lol, she walked by a bunch of times and as we were leaving, I was like oh btw, congratulations and she looks at him and she immediately knows what we were talking about and she starts dying too LOL.
So he ALWAYS asks me how my love life is going lol, he's like what's up, anyone knew, how're you feeling? So I turned the tables on him and I was like yo...how does it feel lol. He's like Rodmond, it feels amazing dating your best friend, seeing them everyday at work, having that deep and personal connection. I was genuinely so happy for him. So backtrack to when we were talking about his divorce and dating again and stuff...he said this one thing to me...he said Rodmond, no matter how old you are, how much you know or how much you've learned...you NEVER really figure it out. Just when you think you've figured out a certain thing, life throws more or DIFFERENT things at you. And that made me think of Big Sean's song where he says "the only thing I've really figured out, is that I'll never have it all figured out"...talking to my old teacher is always so fulfilling and encouraging...to think you can be that age, that wise or whatever and still struggle with things like girls, relationships, friends and all that stuff...just really emphasizes that you'll never have it all figured out, there's ALWAYS room for growth, ALWAYS room for leaning and ALWAYS room for improvement. I literally look at him like my sensei...the way Naruto looks at Jiraiya (it's okay if you don't get that). I know ALL of this is a lot to take in and if you didn't make it to the end, that's okay...cuz you won't even be reading this lol...but I appreciate you all so very much...you're a big part of the encouragement I feel to keep doing this, it feels wonderful being back...with a refreshed and reinvigored sense of understanding and life...thanks for being so patient and understanding with me, I'll see you when I see you.
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