Never Give Up

So I told y'all about all those notes saved up on my phone and how I could fully crank out posts everyday if I wanted to, but there'd be no motivation, passion or heart in the posts. So I kinda hold them of until something sorta triggers or inspires me to write about that post or somehow re-evokes those feelings that I had when I first wrote that post down. This is one of those times. So school just started for me, yep, back again...even tho I just graduated. I'm back for a year to get another degree with the goal of getting a high enough average to be able to apply to teacher's college next year, if I don't, well that door kinda gets closed and it forces me to walk through other doors, but I have a general idea like I've said of the paths that lay ahead of me in a short term aspect at least. So yeah, school just started and it's like a whirlwind of stress just hit me in the face...and it hasn't even been a full week of classes yet, classes just started on Thursday. I've been hella stressed tho, just with my schedule and wanting to get into certain classes and drop other classes. To give you a glimpse, my Mondays are just horrible...my class starts at 10:30 and my last class ends at 10 pm. So I really wanted to do some switching around and such. Not to mention most of my classes are now seminars...gone are the days of huge lectures with like 100+ people, now my classes are no more than 15 people and it's a seminar, pretty much 3 hours of group discussion, I mean it keeps me engaged and awake, but dang, some days you just wanna loaft and let the prof talk y'feel? So yeah, I've been feeling really stressed about that and of course the pressure that this year puts on me academically...you know how people always say you can't go into the battle with the attitude of oh what if I lose cuz then you'll have already lost. I mean I constantly preached that to my one friend when we would play 2k LOOOL...yet here I am coming into this school year very nervous and scared...even doubtful of it I can get that average that'll allow me to apply to teacher's college. I mean, I have backup plans...but like some days I start thinking more and more about those backup plans as if my main plan is already going to fail...and it's a horrible mindset to  have. Which brings me to the post saved on my phone...my favourite youtube is Timothy Dela Ghetto if you know who he is...he's funny, down to earth and just hella relable y'know. So I watched one of his vlogs and he talked about like perseverance and such and I was like okay cool, dope and went on my way. A couple of days later, I was talking to my friend about teacher's college and not getting in because my marks were just below and such and he was like man...I just watched this vlog from Timothy Dela Ghetto and it really hit me hard and he's like you gotta have that kinda attitude. Timothy Dela Ghetto was talking about how he has a bunch of meetings, auditions and such for a bunch of roles and he doesn't get all of them. He's like yeah you gotta mess up a bunch of times before you finally make it...that's what life is all about, falling down...but getting back up and trying again. The fear of failure is scary, but it makes success so much more satisfying...I know these are all lessons and philosophies that are preachy and overused and easy to understand...but it really is so real...and applying this and having this kinda attitude towards anything and everything in life is tough sometimes...yeah it's easy to say all this until you get hit with failure. I guess I'm thankful to have people in my life to help constantly remind me of these things when I forget or get so overwhelmed...sometimes it's nice to have people push you back on the right track or give you a helping hand when you're having trouble getting up. Failure is apart of life, it's inevitable no matter how hard you work or how good you are at whatever...it's how you approach it and what you do after that differentiates people...I'm thankful to the times I've been reminded of this. I know you might read all these lessons and whatever and be like yeah yeah, I know. But hey, if I in some way helped you get back on track the way my friend helped me stay the course, then I'm happy and thankful I was able to help. The bottom line? Never give up.