From The Heart: Arguments & Fighting

Not physical fighting no...I read on a friend's facebook status:

‎"You get into the biggest fights with the people you care about the most, because those are the relationships, that you're willing to fight for."

And this hit me so hard....like a first round knockout to the face. There are some people...who when you argue with....you might just be like ok whatever, cuz it's not worth wasting your breath. Or you might just be like, you know what...you're right....just so they'll leave you alone. But actually think about it.....the biggest fights, arguments, debates and misinterpretations are usually if not always with your closest friends. These arguments drag out and you end up thinking about it everyday whether or not the other person is thinking about it too. Both parties are constantly thinking of a) is the person thinking about me b) how should i fix it c) is it over d) what do I do. They go through phases where they harass the other party's best friend and interrogate them trying to find out as much as they can. Why go through so much trouble and such hassle over an argument.....because you care about the person too much to lose them. I dunno....lately I've been doing good...happy, chilling with friends....but I'm still having complications with one friend....I've heard sides and gotten comfort from all possible parties. I know I'm doing some part in trying to keep this alive....cuz I think about it too much to the point where I need to think of other stuff to get it out of my head. But sometimes....you say to yourself....it's like I'm running a neverending race.....I'm never going to finish....why do I keep trying? I don't know where I'm going with this rant....but the more I look at this quote....the more it hits me. You get into the biggest fights with the people you care about the most......because those are the relationships you care the most for....and can't afford to let die. That's what seperates your best friends from your acquaintances...the effort you and the other person make. If one person is giving their all and you're not reciprocating....then that's not a real friendship....and I guess that's what this whole dilemma I have with my friend is all about. It's been so long...I don't even know why I'm mad....I just know I am.....I've written too many heartfelt, painful and passionate letters and poems about this....to just "sweep it under the carpet" cuz eventually....the carpet gets full....and slowly but surely all the problems come spilling out....which is why I want to FIX it....not LEAVE IT...and pretend it never happened.....why don't we just pretend we don't know each other as well....anyways I've hit a dead end....gonna leave it at that....but that quote.....still gets to me....