Rejection & Failture

Sometimes, it isn't even about winning, completing or getting something...it's about doing it for the sake of saying you did it. A lot of times, rejection and failure can be your greatest teacher and also motivator. A lot of people are afraid of rejection and failure and understandably so. Nobody ever wants to hear no or that they didn't make the cut or that they failed...but sometimes it's what you need. I remember watching this youtuber channel called 'Simple Pickup' where they go and essentially 'pick up' girls and also teach guys how to pick up girls but moreso how to be confident. One video they talked about going out with the sole intention of trying to be rejected a many times as possible so that it gets to a point where when you hear no, it's not that big a deal. I think for me especially, when you hear no...when you hear you didn't make a team or didn't get in to a program...it scares you off from trying again because you don't wanna be rejected again...it's embarrassing, it sucks, no one wants to hear that. But again, its a healhy and necessary partof life that sometimes you hear yes and sometimes you hear no. I've failed tests, been cut from teams, not got into programs and of course...got rejected by girls...it happens. Sometimes, you just gotta do it for the sake of doing it.Confidence is such an attractive quality, for women and men imo. I remember one time at a wedding, seeing this one girl kinda doing her own thing with no one really to talk to. So I went up to her and struck up a conversation and we talked throughout the night. After I sat back at my table and a couple hours had passed, I was like screw it, I'm gonna ask her for her number before she leaves...and so I did and I got her number and texted her and she eventually told me she had a boyfriend but I was super proud of myself for just going up to her, striking up a conversation and asking for her number. Another instance was when I was with my friends shopping and I told them I thought this associate was suuuuper cute but we had left the store already. My friend's like you won't ask her for her number and I said bet, so we literally walked back to the store and bro I was so nervous...I walked around the store for a good 2 minutes (they were standing outside) before finally sucking it up, finding some courage and approaching her and saying whats up and asking for her number, she told me she had a boyfriend and was super flattered and gave me her facebook instead. Again, it's not the fact that I got rejected and only got her facebook...but it's the simple fact that I found the courage to just go and do it and didn't let that fear of "oh well what if she says no" stop me. That mentality can be so crippling cuz it stops you from just living...from literally and figuratively shooting your shot. You're gonna miss, that's what happens when you shoot a shot, you make or you miss...but that doesn't stop you from shooting...and I mean that in a physical and metaphorical way lol. Rejection and failure is a natural part of life and you shouldn't let that stop you from just going ahead and doing whatever it is just to say you did it, that you didn't let fear or failure or rejection stop you.

Regret

Regret is a funny feeling when you think about it. It doesn’t change anything and it doesn’t help you in any way but we still do it. We dwell and we linger and we regret decisions we’ve made, mistakes we’ve made, people we’ve dated, people we’ve befriended. We think to ourselves well damn, what if I didn’t do that...what if things had worked out with this person...what if I did this instead. I always try to tell myself to keep moving forward, to not dwell in the past cuz it distracts from the present but sometimes you can’t help it. When you do something you usually don’t or wouldn’t and you’re just like frick what did I just do and why did I just do it? The funny thing about regret is when you tell people about it and you get different responses, some people might see it as bigger deal than you but for the most part people will see it as a smaller deal and tell you to relax lol. I think that’s why it’s always important to get different perspectives and opinions...to put everything into a bigger picture perspective. For me, when stuff happens it’s like the end of the world and I totally shut down...but when my friends put it into bigger picture perspective that’s when I’m like well damn you’re right...it isn’t that big a deal or it is all in my head. Everyone has regrets...big or small, meaningful or meaningless, but it’s always important to take a step back or if you can’t, share it with someone and have them help you take a step back and see the bigger picture. I regret a lot of things in my life...I regret not going to college instead of university...I regret breaking up with one of my exes through text LOL...I regret not being more straight up and direct with some of my friends...but everything is what it is and me dwelling on that stuff won’t change anything. I mean regret can be a good teacher if you change your ways or if you move differently afterwards, but if you’re just sitting there sulking and freaking out over a bad decision or whatever then that’s not helpful or productive in any way. It’s funny cuz I needed a total stranger to help remind me of that and then a few friends really helped me drive it home knowing how I like to overreact to things lol...so thank you for that. Sorry for being ghost as of late and slow...it’s been a little busy as of late, but maybe I’ll do an update post sooner rather than later for those who care lol.

The Friends In Your Surrounding Environment

What’s good, it’s been a while lol. You know what’s something super random that I think about...I look at the people in my life, usually it’s the new or newer people that I’ve recently met and I ask myself oh I wonder if these friendships will last beyond the confinements of where we see each other everyday. Like let’s take your coworkers for example, these are people that you see and talk to everyday that you can’t help but built bonds with them. But at the same time I can’t see myself hanging out with most of them outside of work if that makes sense LOL. I was talking with my coworker and we were just like oh yeah do you think these people will be friends or will still be dating or whatever outside of work or something like that lol. Even take that thought into a school or church setting, there’s a lot of people I’ve met through school where I saw them super frequently but once school ended and I didn’t see them as much the friendship faded. Same with church, seeing people every week you get so used to it and like oh hey so what’re we doing next Sunday or oh hey let’s go here for lunch that when you don’t see them every Sunday anymore it’s either oh hey let’s chill or welp I haven’t seen or talked to this person in a while. I mean like you obviously have your core group of friends that’s there and your relationships are established that nothing will change for the most part. But it’s the friends that are made from your current environment that always has me asking myself like oh yeah these times are dope, we share about our lives, we have meaningful conversations, but does it go beyond our environment if one of us leaves, does that kinda make sense lol. I mean like ever since leaving my old church or seeing my friends leave the church, I don’t see or talk to a lot of them unfortunately. And it takes a real concerted effort to be like oh hey how’ve you been or oh hey let’s meet up, it’s a pretty small handful that I’d say I still keep in constant communication with and it’s crazy to think like that because i was super close with some of these people. Similarly at work it’s like yo I’ve really grown to enjoy the company of certain people and I enjoy being around them that it’s like yo if or when the time comes I leave that place will I still keep in contact with them like that? Again, these are just random things that go on in my mind about the people and groups of people in my life lol...till next time, deuces!

Life

You ever get that feeling when something happens that you just don’t know how to respond. You ask a lot of questions, but nothing really makes sense and you’re having trouble just understanding what’s going on and why it’s going on. I think back to my second year of university...where I failed 3 courses, had my MacBook stolen, lost my wallet, took the rest of the year off and just struggled finding purpose, finding reason and an explanation as to why any of this was necessary. I struggled to find any bit of light in my life and I was in a hella dark place for a long while. When you get hit with life altering situations, you never really know how to process it, how to deal with it because it’s new, it’s something you’ve never experienced before and you find yourself asking why you of all people. It’s super cliche to say life goes on and you shouldn’t be dwelling on negative situations and stuff...but man sometimes things happen that are just so out of the blue and hit you so overwhelmingly hard you can’t help but just sit there and try to make sense of everything. I’ve been struggling a lot in my faith for a long while and when things like this happen, you can’t help but ask and question and wonder...I dunno. Life and death is such a crazy concept to think about. When someone passes away you wanna be sad and think about how unfair it is and why now and why him/her...but it’s also a celebration of life, a celebration of living and of everything in between and you catch yourself in the midst of sadness thinking of all the good times, of all the memories, of everything the person represented and meant to you and impacted you. I just feel like I have so many things in my head that I can’t really put into words right now and I apologize for that. I’ll see y’all soon.