Dear God

God my heart is feeling very heavy right now...it's breaking at the sadness and pain that people have to endure. God I know that you hold the world in your hand...but my heart still can't help but break at the sadness in this world. God my heart is so heavy right now and I come to you humbled and thankful for the man you're shaping me into...but I pray the same for my fellow brothers and sisters...I pray for strength to endure the hardships, tests and obstacles that life throws at us. God I pray that you instill in my brothers and sisters hope...and true joy and happiness...happiness that can only be found in you. God I pray that you'll give my fellow brother and sisters strength to not get caught up in the world...in what the world wants and how the world thinks...God I pray all this testing and hard times will only serve to help us grow and be stronger individuals. God I come to you in awe...awe of how good you are...and I know you'll come through...who'll give us what we need and what is best for us. God, thank you for always being there for me...I pray my fellows brothers and sisters can find joy and comfort in you the way that I do ad am still learning to.

Speed Limit 50

Part 1

If the title of this post sounds familiar, that's because this is part 2 to a post I did earlier in January called Speed Limit 40. As of late, I've just been reminded to slow down, take my time and enjoy everything around me. And I wanna pass that message onto you....forreal, everywhere I look it seems like kids wanna grow up so fast...whether it's as little as trying on make up or as big as wanting to be over and done with high school. My encouragement to you is to slow down...when your youth is gone, it's gone for good. These are the moments in your life that determine who you are...that essentially form the foundation upon which you'll be growing. I've been living life one slow step at a time lately...I'm almost done school and tho I'll be doing more school...every day is one step closer to being a full fledged adult, to being in the real world and to having my own life and responsibilities and such. I just wanted to encourage you to enjoy your youth, enjoy the people around you, enjoy the circumstances you're in...happy times and sad times. Before you know it...everyone will be off doing their own things, moving away or simply too busy with their own lives. I'm super lucky to have close friends who are still in town and majority of them are in similar positions as me or are alike me in the sense that they're very home oriented. I know other people tho that aren't so lucky...where the majority of their close friends are out of town or have fully moved away because of jobs or whatever, Don't rush your life...don't be so caught up in being successful and such that you forget to enjoy the journey and the moments in between. When you rush to your destination...you miss out on so much in between stuff...the scenery, the pit stops and the people you meet and the experiences you have. I'm here to tell you to slow down...I know life moves fast, but it's okay sometimes to put it on cruise control, kick back and relax and enjoy yourself.

You Won't Believe What This Student Said To Me

So if you don't know, I wanna be a teacher. If you don't know, I've been volunteering at an elementary school with my old teacher and we're really good friends. If you keep up to date with my blog posts and you recall this one post about a student of ours who was having family issues and shared his concern with us. He was saying how his parents might get divorced, but this same kid is also my teacher's favourite student in the class...he's hilarious, he's on the volleyball team, he's a goof, but he's a super nice, smart and polite kid. So I've been going pretty often lately cuz their volleyball season is wrapping up and I've been helping coach the team and ref some games for them. So today after practise, my teacher and I are chilling about to leave...the kid is chilling waiting in the halls. These kids are hella nice btw, like after every practise they're like thanks for practise, thanks for taking time out of your day and stuff, it's crazy. Any ways, so he's in the halls chilling, he's like thanks for practise and stuff. He goes thanks Rodmond...then he goes oh btw, Mr. Tham (they legit alternate calling me Rodmond and Mr. Tham LOL I don't mind)...."you're going to be a great teacher". Like wow, firstly I want you to know I'm not writing this out of arrogance...but pure speechlessness, thankfulness and appreciativeness. I've had a couple conversations with him where he asked like where and what I studied and what I wanted to do after, so he knew I wanted to be a teacher. But wow, he said that, I said thanks, I appreciate it, truly...he walked away. I stood there with my teacher for a good 5 minutes just kinda trying to take it in...like my heart felt joy, pure joy. A couple of days earlier, my teacher and I had a conversation cuz I told him I had sent in my application for teacher's college...he said Rodmond...I have no doubt you're going to  be a great teacher, I have no doubt you're going to be great at whatever you do...but teaching specifically...I know you'll be great at it. The kids will take so much out of what you have to teach them and you in turn will take so much out of this job as well. He started saying how I really care abut the students and I have an innate ability to help and encourage others (which I'll get to in another post) and I know which students may need a little more encouragement than others. But wow...today just hit me like a train...I got teary eyed in front of my teacher when the student left...it meant a lot to  me. My teacher's always said if you're in it for the money or for the benefits, this isn't the job for you...long hours with pay that some might see as unequal to the work you put in. But man...it's the intangibles and the things you can't measure that make this job so amazing...seeing the impact you have on a kid, seeing them smile and laugh because of something you said or did, even little things like marking makes me find so much joy in this job. I keep saying this but it becomes more true with every passing day...the more I volunteer...the more I'm realizing that this job is meant for me, that I'm meant for this job...and I don't mean that in a cocky way I  promise...I mean like...everything I like and enjoy doing...all the intangible qualities this job brings you. The kids man...the kids...they piss you off, they annoy you, but they're the reason why you're here, they bring you so much joy...their joy brings you so much joy. Being a teacher also makes you see the good in every student...well for me at least, some teachers are genuinely different in their own ways and styles. I've seen kids act out or speak out in class rudely, but I've seen those same kids be super polite and helpful. It's super cool talking to them on a personal and human level, not a teacher student level. Asking them what's wrong, why they're upset...and the biggest thing is hearing them be honest with you, trusting with you...damn man, I don't know what more I can say...this job, well for now...this experience...has been so amazing for me, this is just a glimpse into what could possibly be the rest of my life...and if it is, I'm super excited to start the journey.

Eating Leftovers, Looking At Old Pictures And Dating Your Ex

Wow, sorry for being ghost...as winter rolls around...exam season is right around the corner and there may not be a more important exam season than this one because it's my last semester of school and this dictates whether I'll graduate or not this coming summer. Nonetheless, I apologize to the many or to the few of you who actually look forward to my posts lol. So one thing I get asked a lot is whether or not I read my old posts. My initial response and the answer from my heart would say no and would paraphrase what Kendrick Lamar says about his albums and not performing them after he's done them. What I've done in the past is the old me, it was a me that was feeling a certain way when he wrote that post. It's a different time and I guess part of me doesn't want to and can't really revisit those old feelings and try to feel what I once felt. It's like dating your ex...they're your ex for a reason, you dated that person in a past time in your life...but if you were to date them now...I'd say chances are it wouldn't work out because you guys are 2 different people...it was a different time in your life, you guys were looking for different things, in different phases of your life and had different views and perspectives about everything. But realistically, I do read my old posts...it's okay to revisit the past...it's when you start living in the past that becomes a problem. Like when you look at old pictures...it brings a smile to your face because it brings you to a happy, memorable time in your life that you wanted to take a picture of and keep. But when you start comparing your current life to that time and how you wish things were like the past is when living in the past becomes dangerous. My friends and I always talk about the old times, when the whole gang was together, when we were younger, more care free, had so many gatherings...but we all know that can never happen again...people are gone doing their own things, we're all older now, have our own lives. There's no way we can recreate those moments again...but why would we want to...those memories are great...but I'm excited to make new ones that I can one day look back on. So despite reading old posts...I try not to...one because I'm lazy...but two because there's a fine line between looking and reminiscing on old memories vs wishing things were like the past and being unsatisfied with your life. That's what I always tell my friends whenever we talk about memories and the old times...that yeah it's fun to talk about it, all the things we used to do and people we used to chill with...it was a happy time...just don't get down that this person or that person is gone, that things will never be the same...it's not meant to be, because you're not the same person you were before.

Dear Brothers

I guess this can be to and for anyone really, but I'm directly speaking to my fellow brothers...who are struggling with their faith, who're finding life hard, stressful and overwhelming...who may be losing faith or losing hope. I've been there my brothers, I still go there sometimes...it's hard...and there isn't one single specific solution I can offer you to get you on your feet and good to go. But I can offer you encouragement...and methods to help you get up and be strong. It sucks to see that a lot of my fellow brothers, my friends...are struggling, are doubting, are losing hope...with me at least my friends...as hard as life gets, as hard as the obstacles are that are thrown at me...and as hard as I fall sometimes...one thing I've learned as I've gotten older and one thing I cling to is to never give up hope and to always have faith. Faith in God, the ultimate provider...faith that he'll always come through for me. I wanna leave you with this hoping it will stick with you...

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

I know life gets hard, I know that the fear of the unknown can be scary...what if this, what if that...will this happen, will that happen...is it all worth it? My prayer for you my brother is for you to cling to the light...that hope that you once had...God's always there and always has been there. He's just waiting for you to open the door and embrace him with open arms. Trust that everything in your life happens for a reason, everything in your life is meant to move you forward in life. That God...all knowing and omnipotent, despite what you want, crave, desire and think what's best for you....knows what is BEST for you. Everything he does is meant to help you grow...whether it seems hard, painful or unreasonable at the time. Embrace every situation and circumstance you're in, try to find the good within the bad...as small as it may seem. I've experience so many thing sin my life...that I never understood until a day, a week, a month...sometimes a year later. Everything has led me to this point and has only strengthened my faith as I hope it will yours. Be strong my brothers, prosperous times are awaiting you, I'm praying for you.

She Spoils Me

So...I'm kinda like that friend you have that takes a lot time to reply to a text message...except in blog form LOL. It's been a while since we last had a chat...it's felt like a slow week...it's been tiring...haven't been sleeping much due to many early mornings between school, work and volunteering. Any ways...so there's this girl I met at school...long story short we met in class and talked a little bit here and there. I asked for her number and ever since then...she keeps messaging me, to the point where it's kinda scary. Like she asked for my instagram, followed me on snapchat, added me as a friend on facebook...that's all normal and such...but I was sitting around one a couple of days and and suddenly\I get a facetime call from her...I don't pick it up thinking okay it's probs an accident, it's happened to me before too. She keeps facetiming me and I get like 8 missed facetime calls. Keep in mine I just met her and had like 2 interactions with her, we haven't even been texting for long. She'll text me something...and I'm busy studying or playing video games and like not even 5 minutes later...she'll double text...she'll say lol, or ask a question or go yeah....it's kinda creepy. But that's not the story...that's just an introduction to a different story LOL...as interesting as that story may have seemed, I just wanted to kinda give you some background into this next story. So back in high school when I was in grade 12, I dated this girl who was in grade 9...LOOOOL all my real friends will automatically know who this is. Any ways...let's just say she spoiled me...and it's one of the reasons I was so bad at speaking to and pursuing girls...cuz I expected all my interactions and courting of girls to be like this one. So I met her at some volleyball thing and we had a very minimal interaction...that night she added me on msn and facebook and we started talking non stop for hours into the night. Like to sum it up simply...she was pursuing me...100%, I did nothing lol. Once 12 am would hit, she would be like good morning. She's the one who asked for my number and she texted me right away even though we were already talking on msn. She would text me every morning good morning and goodnight before she went to bed. Like she played volleyball and she would take breaks during her practices to text me LOL. Like yo she would visit my high school just to see me...and obv neither one of us drived, I visited her like once at her school, but the majority of the time it was her visiting me and making moves. I remember the day I asked her to be my girlfriend...she dropped SOOO MANY HINTS...but as a young boy, I was stupid unfortunately LOL...she was standing there in front of me...and she was like oh so I'm free tonight, I kinda wanna go to a movie but I have no one to go with, what're you doing tonight...I remember I was like uh, I think my friend is coming over and we're just gonna play videogames LOOOL. Legit, you're gonna laugh so hard at me...my friend was over, she ended up going to the movies with her best friend...he's reading my texts and he's like YO DUDE SHE LIKES YOU, ARE YOU STUPID...and I'm like really? LOOOL...so I texted her and pretty much asked her to be my girlfriend through text LOL. Legit after that, a lot of the female interactions I had were hella awkward cuz I expected it to go along the lines of how it did with my ex...boy was I wrong and did I sure have to learn the hard way LOL.

Dear Nice Guy Part 3

Part 1
Part 2

Hey nice guy, how are you doing...well I hope. I've been pretty good, I've been practising patience and have been working and focusing on myself. I hope you have been well. I know sometimes it can get scary...you start to ask yourself questions...will you ever find the one? Do you really have tobe a jerk to get the girl? Do girls even really like nice guys? Is there something wrong with you? I feel you my brothers...I've asked myself all these questions on numerous occasions. I'm still an old school romantic...who still believes in chivalry, in being gentlemanly and such. I know it's hard fellas...but don't rush it, don't get into something for the sake of getting into it. Don't start a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. Don't even sell yourself short...and don't even think you have to settle because you won't ever find anybody else. And on the other hand...if you are in a relationship and you genuinely don't love that person or don't see yourself marrying them...it's okay to end it, why continue being with someone if you can't see yourself being with them for the rest of your life? It's hard I know, but just cuz something doesn't work out...doesn't make it the end of the world. But back to my single friends...I'm in the same boat as you, trust me...but I've had plenty of helpful advice and encouragement from brothers who helped push me in the right direction. Patience is the key my brothers, let it happen naturally, when you're ready...and when she's the one...you'll just know. But at the same time...know when to seize the moment...know when to take action and take what's yours. Fellas...it's about picking your moments, I'm not telling you to be passive and let the girl approach you, I'm telling you to be patient and not chase every cute girl you see. I'm telling you to believe in yourself, to have confidence and to trust in the process...that your time will come. There's a beautiful girl out there for you...you just gotta wait, let it happen naturally and seize the opportunity when presented with one. Keep your head up nice guy, I'm with you.

I'm Your Teacher, Not Your Friend Part 2

Part 1

So I haven't been volunteering in 2 weeks cuz I was busy with school, but man...first day back and it was no short of excitement, work and some interesting times. Today was only further reassurance that I definitely want to be a teacher in the future. First things first would be the relationship I have with my teacher...how it's been over 10 years since I've been in elementary school, but I still go back to visit him, we're really good friends and we confide in each other. That's the kind of relationship I hope to develop with my future students...to teach them, but to also be there for them if they need to just talk you know. Which brings me to today...there was this kid who was upset the whole day, you could kinda tell cuz he speaking out more than usual and just a few things here and there. So my teacher and I pulled him aside and we talked to him and he was saying how he was just upset at his grades and how his parents put a lot of pressure on him and that he works really hard. He started tearing up...so we talked to him, comforted him and told him to walk it off...that's just crazy to me, it takes lots of courage to one...confide in your teacher, two...as a guy, to shed tears especially in front of your teacher. Second instance of the day was this girl...who was acting weird all day...she had her hoodie up and like tied it all the way up like Kenny from South Park...we kept asking her what's wrong and she's like nothing, I'm just having a bad hair day...she kept acting weird,so we eventually pulled her aside and talked to her...she was saying how she was unhappy with her appearance compared to the other girls and all that stuff...pretty much girl stuff, puberty, boys...but we sat her down and told her it was alright...that it's natural to go through these things and feel that way...but she's still young and growing...and everyone is beautiful in their own way, you just gotta embrace it and be confident and comfortable with yourself. The last instant was this boy...probs his favourite student in class...who was SUPER sad the whole day, you could tell...quiet, moody, distant. After school, we asked him what was up and he said...don't worry, it's something at home, it's not school related. We told him that yeah...we may be your teachers and there is a certain level of a professional relationship that we can't cross...but we care about you...inside and outside of school...we want to teach you both book smarts and street smarts. He told us that things aren't going well at home and he thinks his parents are going to split up...it sucks cuz he said that his parents are putting him in the middle and making him choose sides...we told him it wasn't his fault...that it's not fair for them to put him in the middle...but the biggest thing was that it's not his fault...it's between them. But it genuinely sucks to be that young and to have to experience that. Legit, it was such a mentally exhausting day, spent the whole day marking and talking to the kids. Honestly...now that I'm a teacher....I see things SO differently...as a student...you're so worried about yourself, your studies, your problems, your friends, girls...that it's hard to really notice EVERYTHING and EVERYONE around you. As a teacher now tho...you notice all these things...you notice when a student is more sad than usual, more loud than usual. You notice when a student is in gym class and isn't really enjoying themselves, you notice when a student is eating lunch by themselves visibly upset...all these things...as a teacher, I notice them...and I hurt for them as well. This experience so far has been so eye opening and so wonderful for me cuz it's opened such a door for me to grow as a person and learn about myself and the kids and the environment I may possibly be in one day. Yeah, I'm your teacher and I may not be your friend while you are in my class...but that doesn't mean I don't care about your life, what's going on in it...and it really meant so much to my teacher and I that those students had the courage to confide in us. I was talking to my teacher about how I never knew kids that young had to go through such things...cuz when I was that age, I was too busy focusing on my own stuff. He's like yeah...even when you were in my class...kids would approach me privately and share their problems...but as a student you don't see that kinda stuff. It makes me really wanna make a difference if I become a teacher...to go beyond the textbook, beyond the curriculum....to teach them about life...essentially to model myself after Mr, Feeny from Boy Meets World...my teacher and I collaborated today and he wants to give me an entire project to give to the class and teach it to them and have them present it and I'm super excited about it, I definitely can't wait. It's so cool to do teacher things like marking, remembering the kids names, making jokes with them...I'm so glad I did this.

Slow And Steady Wins The Race Part 2

Slow And Steady Wins The Race Part 1

Alright, so I know it's been a while lol...my apologies...I got my dates messed up, originally intended to post a week later, but lost track of my days and yeah...here we are, it's been pretty busy as of late...I got a job, it's exam time, just a lot of things going on right now and there's always moments where I just sit and reflect on life, where I am at the moment and things like that you know. The biggest thing I've been dwelling on as of late is no matter what you do...someone's gonna have an opinion. No matter what you do, there's gonna be someone who doesn't agree or doesn't like it or you. If you let that affect you, you're gonna be constantly struggling to please people and it's gonna annoy the hell out of you when one person says this or that about you or something. That's just where I've been at lately...whatever I say or do on this blog specifically...someone's gonna have an opinion or feel some type of way...they may agree or disagree...that's cool, but I'm definitely making a conscious effort not to let any negativity affect me...cuz in the end, it's just words and opinions...you're allowed to have that. 

Sorry about that, just felt like I had to catch y'all up to speed with where I've been at lately. Any ways, couple days ago, I saw this post from this girl I went to high school with. It was a picture of her masters degree, we're both the same age. Meaning she graduated university, went to do her masters at a different school right away and recently graduated from that. I dunno, I've always said I wouldn't let it affect me seeing friends that were in the same year as me graduate before me because a lot happened to me (if you know, you know) that made me kinda take longer to graduate. But seeing that picture did hit me a little bit...and I talked to a couple of people about it. That's pretty cool for her...to graduate university and get your masters in the span of like 6 years or so...I dunno, I kinda looked at myself and how I'm still here in my 6th year doing my undergrad. Long story short, failed some courses in 2nd year, took 4rd year off, 4th year took courses to boost gpa,  5th year took courses in my major...this year I'm taking 2 more courses and will be done in December...so 5 years and a semester pretty much lol. Any ways...so I talked to a few friends about it and the biggest thing they told me...is that everyone does things at their own pace...we're all running a race, some people are faster, some people are slower, some people finish right away while others pace themselves. My friend told me once you get to university, that kinda stuff doesn't matter...everyone moves at their own pace, has their own lives and their own circumstances. Some people may take a couple courses every year because they wanna work full time as well and end up taking 6-8 years to finish a program. Other instances, you'll see full grown adults with families go back to do their undergrad. What he told me was it's okay to move at your own pace...everyone moves at different paces...but we all still have our own goals, our own pit stops and more importantly, our own finish lines. It was just a real good healthy reminder that it's okay to take your time, to move at your own pace...everyone works, moves and thinks differently...when you compare yourself is when you start to get down at what you've accomplished or have compared to other people. Honestly, do it for you, do it for yourself, for your family and for whatever else you hold dear. All I know is...I've come this far in my academic career...and no matter how long I take, how many hurdles I have to jump over and how many pit stops or breaks I have to take...I'm gonna finish the race, bet.