Withdrawal

June's felt like a very slow month...blog post wise and life wise lol. June's almost over and I've only posted twice...this post being the third. In terms of life...it's felt pretty slow...haven't been doing much outside of softball, church stuff and chilling with people. I need to find a job lol...but at the same time I know I'm gonna miss this free time once I do find a job. Anyways...so everybody experiences some kind of withdrawal when they're use to something for so long and then it's gone. Alcoholics or drug addicts experience withdrawal when they stop taking the substance...same with anything from coffee to the internet to your phone...if it's a constant part of your daily life...when you remove it for a certain period of time...you eventually experience withdrawal...you crave it...or miss it. That's kinda what I felt this morning when I woke up. I sat in bed...I opened my eyes...and every time I blinked...all I could see was your face...all I could hear was your voice and your laugh...all I could think about was all the times we spent together and conversations we had. But don't get me wrong...it wasn't a sad feeling and it was definitely not an "I miss you" kinda feeling. It was more of me missing the feeling and the "joy" you could sya that it gave me. Missing the feeling of simply having somebody there, somebody to talk to, to look forward to hearing from...that personal and intimate connection. When I woke up this morning...it was a weird feeling...I can't explain it...it wasn't good or bad...it was...weird. It's funny cuz I already had in mind what I wanted write about today then I woke up and was hit with a flurry of thoughts...not about you...but about what we had and the feeling it gave me. That's all...I know I've been mia...but I have big things planned for the blog coming up reeeeal soon and I'm hella excited to share it with you, all in due time...peace out.

Wasn't Meant To Be

Yeah I know it's been a while, sorry about that. So uh...here's a funny story for y'all. It's probably one I've told on the blog before, but back when no one read the blog...LOL, so here it is. This one comes in like grade 7 when we went on our year end trip to some cottage in a forest kinda thing. So if you've read this post about the girl who rejected me, this story occurs a year before that cuz that was in grade 8. So anyways, all the grade 7's are sitting in a room and we're about to go on some huge scavenger hunt in pairs. So the teacher is like alright I'm gonna pick the pairs and I'm gonna put you with somebody you don't really know and it's gonna be boy/girl pairs cuz the scavenger hunt was like a couple of hours so he's like yeah it'll give you the chance to get to know somebody you don't already know. So he's picking the pairs and slowly all the kids are going off to start the scavenger hunt...there's 4 kids left. The cute asian girl that I liked, this brown girl I didn't really know at all, this other asian guy and myself. So my heart's already racing...I'm like NO WAY...it's gonna happen...I'm gonna be able to spend like 4 hours with this girl that I like, talking, chilling and stuff...bro, you don't understand how happy I was....I was like c'mon man...it has to be destiny Teacher calls her name...let's call her Maggie. So he calls her name...and I'm like THIS IS IT...he looks at me...looks back at the paper...then guys the other dude's name...brooooo, you don't understand what I felt LOOOL. I literally looked at the teacher, looked at the asian girl, then looked at my partner and was like bruuhhhhhh. So anyways, here I am about to start this scavenger hunt and I'm hella salty LOOOL. So I kinda forced myself to suck it up and try to be civil and talk to her since I was gonna be with her for like a couple hours. Honestly tho, lemme tell you...you can't and you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. She literally did EVERYTHING in the scavenger hunt...I just like held stuff or like made she we didn't die...she like figured out all the clues, got all the directions and stuff and we ended up finishing like 3rd our like 20 pairs or something and we got like a prize. Plus I also got to talk to her throughout the day and that was pretty dope cuz if it weren't for the scavenger hunt, I would probably never approach her in school or whatever. So yeah...it's just interesting you know...when you expect one thing and you get another. Random comparison...but it's like when me and my boys go for a movie and they pick a movie I've never heard of or aren't interested in and I end up liking it...kinda similar...no? It's like you go into something expecting it to be bad because of your preconceived ideas even tho you know nothing about it...but then it kinda surprises you. So yeah///see y'all soon.

It Gets Better

Hey friends, it's been a while, I apologize for that...but it feels good talking to you guys again. There's so much to say...so funny thing...yesterday, I went downstairs at like 2 am, everyone's asleep...I open the fridge and take out this box of leftovers someone brought home and I eat it. Then I kinda said to myself...wow, I'd be the worst roommate ever LOOOL...like waking up in the middle of the night...eating people's food, drinking people's drinks LOOL, then of course,,,blaming someone else lol. So April was a very slow month for the blog...cuz obviously I didn't post...but I was looking at the stats and there was only 1,034 views for that month...to give y'all context, it hasn't been that low since January and February of 2011 with 1,092 and 1,201 hits. TAKE THIS IN THO...MAY...pulled in a TOTAL of 27,359 views, again...some context...the most viewed month of all time is March 2015 with 15,482...now I don't know what happened in the month of May...but geeeeeez...almost 30,000 hits just for the month of May., other than those 2 months...only one other month has gotten over 10,000 hits and that's May of 2016....okay, sorry...enough numbers...let's talk.

I guess you can take this as a continuation of my previous post. Things really to get better...in time. Sometimes, we get so caught up in wanting things to get better immediately that we don't see that things are getting better...just little bit by little bit. I rolled my ankle like a couple of weeks ago and every day I was super annoyed because I wanted to get back to 100% asap...I wanted to be able to run, jump, play basketball...it was annoying. After realizing it wasn't going to miraculously heal right away...I started seeing the little improvements and bits of progress in my ankle. One day, I'd be able to stretch it a little bit more, the next day I'd be able to walk without any discomfort, the next some light jogging and now I'm full on running with minimal discomfort. Everything in life gets better...in time...I forget that a lot because you wanna get better right away...no one wants to be sad or angry...they wanna get better right away...but it doesn't work like that. I told y'all about the girl I kinda fell for...I didn't expect...but I wanted to be better right away...I wanted to stop hurting, I wanted to be happy. But it didn't work that way...it took time. Each passing day, each morning waking up...it got easier...I didn't have urges to text her, to look at her pictures or whatever...to the point where one morning, I woke up, sat up and literally kinda zoned out for 2 minutes...and I mumbled to myself...wow, things really do get better. I was so focused on wanting to get back to normalcy right away...but it's a process. Don't look at it as how much you have left to go, but see it as how far along you've come...I guarantee you'll feel a lot better...and you'll see how much progress you've made rather than how much distance you have left to go. With that...just wanted to share with y'all this one song.

Lil Yachty - Better feat. Stefflon Don