Life Goes On, So Should You...

Hey friends, so I was listening to J. Cole and this lyric hit me real hard...”pick up the pen time to write my sins away, write my wrongs and then life goes on”. And this is something I started to think about these past few days. This idea that life goes on...and so should you. There’s just no time to be dwelling in the past, it distracts you from the present, from living life and from working toward your future. You can’t be walking forward if you’re constantly stopping to look back. I told y’all I’m a hoarder, I can’t throw things away...I always randomly look at old messages, old yearbook comments, old letters, old blog posts but then after a while I hit a point where I’m like what am I doing? Why am I doing this lol. I like how Facebook hits you with those memories everyday like oh “on this day you did this...” then it links you to whatever posts, pictures or whatever happened on that day in time. I mean it’s nice to look back every once in a while, to stop and smell the roses, but you should constantly be and constantly be wanting to move forward. I’ve been thinking a lot about like the friendships that you have and how some friendships fade cuz of lack of effort on both or one party...and for me it’s like yo if you’re not bout it, then just let me know. You’re either in or not, there shouldn’t be no like oh yeah I’m down to ride with you...sometimes, or when it’s convenient for me, that’s not how friendship should work. But anyways back to the quote...I was thinking to myself cuz in this age where everything is on demand, you can pause your tv, Netflix, YouTube and go do your thing and come back whenever you want and resume at that same point...life isn’t like that. Life doesn’t pause and go oh are you good now? Are you done crying? Are you done whining or complaining or hurting? Nah life keeps going...and so should you. You fall down, you get up, wipe yourself off and keep going. It’s a tough and sometimes painful lesson but it’s also a necessary one. It’s okay to take some time to gather and compose yourself, but life keeps going man, it doesn’t wait for you just cuz you’re having a bad day, having a hard time or whatever, that’s life...we all go through it, we all endure it, it is what it is, push through and keep going. Anyways that’s just my little bit of motivation today cuz it’s what hit me pretty hard recently, see y’all soon, DEUCES!

When I Look Back...

So I was listening a bunch of podcasts today when I was driving to and from the gym and I realized I’m super picky, like in the same way with shows and stuff...I’m not a fan of the most popular podcasts or shows. For example I’ve never seen Game of Thrones, Stranger Things, Suits...some of the most popular shows I’ve never seen or they just don’t interest me. So when it came to podcasts I realized I’m super picky, I usually go to like most popular or most viewed and pick one but I realized a lot of them didn’t appeal to me and ended up going with a lesser known one but it was with a dude I knew and watched on YouTube so I knew I’d like his personality. Anyways so when I was driving I was thinking a lot about the past. And if you’ve known me for a while you’ll know what I’m talking about when I say I was thinking about the 2k vlogs, the rap videos, all the poems I used to post or recite...I was thinking about that today when I was driving and I was like damn, as hella cringe as all that stuff is it definitely helped build my confidence cuz I was only in high school back then. I mean I’m still not the most confident dude but back the o was hella shy and hello quiet and would’ve never imagined putting out videos or expressing my thoughts so openly and publicly. Like at first it obviously took a toll on my self esteem cuz when you’re like 16-17 it’s like shoot what if people don’t like it, what if people make fun of you, all that Jazz. But thinking about it how...that stuff was the beginning of me being comfortable with who I am regardless of what people think cuz that’s something you can’t control. Then of course my mind wandered elsewhere...to the heartbreaks, the hard times, the stresses, the moments in my life I didn’t think I’d make it through and how I did and how it shaped me, how it taught me and how it made me who I am today and instilled the beliefs, the views and the wisdom/experiences that I carry with me. When I look back...everything that happened played a part in getting me to where I am today and becoming who I am today. We all have moments we look back on where we regret, we cringe, we get embarrassed and stuff but all that stuff happened to get you to where and who you are today. So when I was able to take that moment today to look back it was cool lol, I laughed, I cringed, I panicked a bit but all with the bigger picture in mind that it was also all necessary...so yeah that’s just my little moment of reflection for the day...till next time, peace!

Love Me Or Leave Me

You know I’ve always known that not everyone f’s with the blog...they might think it’s corny, lame, over the top or just hella unnecessary. But one thing I’ve always appreciated is that my friends support the heck out of me, I mean yeah at first sure they joked around about how dumb an idea it was, but the more serious I got about it and the bigger a part of my life it became, the more supportive they were...and I’ve truly always appreciated that with all my heart. Not everyone f’s with the blog and that’s perfectly fine. It might not be your cup of tea, you might find it boring or just not interesting and that’s super understandable. I was talking to a friend today and he told me that one of our mutual friends, someone I hold pretty near and dear to my friend...this person not only makes fun of the blog, but talks ish about how corny and stuff it is. And I won’t lie...I was pretty angry at first, but the more I thought about it, that’s when the hurt really sank in. I get if random people I don’t know, people I went to high school with or people I’ve met along the way don’t vibe with the blog, but for someone who knows me personally, a good friend...to say that kinda stuff...it’s like wow they really don’t rock with you that way...I know it’s overplayed and corny but Drake says “I got fake people showing fake love to me, straight up to my face.” In the same sense like damn, that’s truly hurtful because like I always say this blog has truly become a representation of who I am, my thoughts, my emotions, my everything...and for someone I call a friend to bad mouth it is pretty much bad mouthing me, saying they don’t mess with the blog is like saying they don’t mess with me. These kinda things really make you evaluate and reevaluate the people you surround yourself with, and for me it makes me even more protective of myself and skeptical of others, which is horrible I know. It’s just crazy to think like I’ve had people tell me the blog is dumb before, that certain posts are straight up corny, that I should just stop...I honestly pay no mind to it cuz it truly has no value to me...but when I heard a friend was saying some stuff it cut deep forreal. And honestly I still don’t really know how to process it you know...then it kinda made me think about what being a supportive friend means and to what lengths do you go to support your friend. If you don’t necessary like or agree with what they’re doing, do you still support them? What if it’s something super important to them, what if it’s something they’re super passionate about but again you feel the same way you don’t really like it or you don’t agree or you don’t believe in it, do you still support it? I dunno man, it honestly be the closest people to you that cut the deepest sometimes...I’ll see y’all soon, peace.