Geez, so I finished writing this and read it over...another lengthy post, sorry...I'm honestly gonna do my best to try to cut them down but I have a real bad tendency to ramble...like right now...lol, sorry...enjoy.
How do you know that someone is the one for you? That's a question that has had to have crossed your mind about your current or past relationships at some point, otherwise I would seriously question why you were or are in that relationship in the first place. I'm not sure if there is a concrete answer to this question, it's very opinion based and you'll probably hear different answers depending on who you ask. For me, I think part of it is just being around that person for a long enough period of time. With that, I don't think couples should get married without at least dating for one year because...well y'all don't know each other. That being said, I do know couples who have gotten married while dating much less than one year, to each his own. But I mean, how well can you really know somebody in such a short period of time? It's not just their personality or their likes and dislikes...it's their weird quirks, habits, tendencies or random things they may do in the privacy and comfortableness of their own space. I also wrote this post about strengthening or exposing your friendships and relationships, you can read that over here. One thing I talk about is arguments, how arguments can make or break a relationship. Arguments let you see how people handle conflicts and future conflicts. It lets you know if you guys have chemistry or are the kind of couple to butt heads a lot. It lets you see a side of the other person you might not normally see. That being said, there are some friendships I have where we argue a lot, but I also have some friendships where we hardly argue at all...and despite me saying arguments are healthy, some relationships work so well that arguments rarely happen. So yeah, part of knowing someone is the one is just experience, being around them for a long enough period of time. I remember a few girls telling me like oh why is the guy so nervous when he proposes. If you know the girl well enough and have been together with her long enough, it shouldn't even be a question, you should already know what her answer is, the nerves should only be from asking her, which shouldn't even be a thing cuz it's such a happy moment. So many times you'll hear guys go oh wow I'm so nervous, what if she says no? I whole heartedly agree with that point, like yo if you've been dating for x amount of years or if you say you know her as well as you say you do, it shouldn't even be a question lol. I went back and thought about a conversation I had with somebody I look up to, how he told me he was getting a divorce, and something he realized was that they never loved each other...that the spark that was there when they first started dating went downhill once they got married and only got married because they had a kid, which was hella sad to hear. Which brings me to my next point, part of knowing somebody is the one or trying to find the one is trial and error. I know people who've never dated and once that first guy/girl came along...it was like alright they HAVE to be the one. Like wait what, you've never been in a relationship how can you say that so fast? They're like well, if it took this long for someone to come along, they've got to be the one right? Wrong. I think the more people I interact with, the more girls I go out with, the more I learn about myself. Who I am as a person, the kind of people I like to be around, the kinda girls I'm into, and I wouldn't have learned any of that without putting myself out there to meet people, be in different groups of friends and meet different girls. If you're in a relationship right now...whether a couple weeks, months or years...I want you to ask yourself this question. Do you think that your significant other is the one? How do you know? If you haven't asked yourself that question at any point in your relationship, I'd say you're either still in the beginning stages or "honeymoon" stage of your relationship...or maybe it's just not that serious. Cuz isn't any relationship, like a race...to get to the finish line? Lastly...I just wanted to say that the final part of knowing if somebody is the one is faith...specifically a leap of faith. Cuz honestly, you're not going to know 100% if somebody is the one for you, no matter if you're been together for 3 months or 10 years. Once you're confident and set that this person is the one, you've been together for whatever you consider a good enough amount of time, you know him/her as best as you possibly can...that's when you take that leap of faith and hope that they are the one. So yeah, with that...peace out friends.
Wednesday, September 27, 2017
Sunday, September 24, 2017
What You Say vs How You Say It
Wow, it feels like I haven't talked to y'all in months, but in actuality its only been 2 weeks. Let me start off by saying that I feel like how you say something is just as if not more important than what you're actually saying. Tone is very important...that's how a lot of messages get misinterpreted. You can say something nice to somebody, but if you say it in a rude way, it's gonna be taken negatively. I had a friend go up to another friend and go wow, your singing was really good today...but his tone didn't sound sincere even though he was, so my friend who received the compliment goes are you being sarcastic? That's just a small example of how saying something nice but in a bad tone can be interpreted differently. On the flip side, you can say something mean but in a nice tone and people wouldn't even realize it...like take roasting for example...whether about someone's clothes, looks, it's all in your tone right...I can go to my friend and be like WOW, you look horrible today...but if I say it in a joking, jolly manner...he'll probably laugh it off y'know? I'm gonna share with y'all three instances that kinda inspired this post, but I'm gonna try my best to keep it short as well.
1) So I played softball this season and we hopped diamonds a lot of cuz they would be taken a lot of the times. So one day, we go to this diamond and another team comes up to us and go oh we've been at this diamond for a couple years now, we don't own it, but it would be common courtesy for you guys to essentially give us the diamond. Now what I just said didn't seem too rude, but the guy who I was talking to was hella rude, understandably stressed for having to deal with this...but he was also forceful and wouldn't let me get a word in. He kept bringing up common courtesy and respect...and I said to him okay, if you expect respect, you should be giving me the same by letting me talk instead of cutting me off every chance you get, you don't own the diamond...ESPECIALLY when you want something from someone, a favour, whatever it may be...TONE becomes extremely key. You don't get in someone's face and expect respect if you aren't willing to show that same respect backward.s. So an hour later a different guy approaches me and we talk about the same thing, but in a very calm, back and forth conversation. I told him, listen...I respect you coming here and having a civilized conversation with me, the other guy came and was whining like a baby, not letting me talk, I get he's stressed, but that's not how you talk to people. I told him it's not my wish to cause trouble and I'd have gladly gave him the diamond for future use if he had talked to my civilly and like a human being. So that was that, the second guy was cool and I decided to leave at that and give them that diamond.
2) Wow that first one was longer than expected. So this second one was like a week or so ago...I went to Starbucks with a friend and after a while we decided to switch to another coffee shop across the street for better wifi. We sat down and didn't buy anything, our bad obviously but I didn't wanna spend more money, my bad also cuz my Starbucks cup was on the table. We were sitting outside and after a couple minutes, this guy comes out and goes oh you can't have that cup here, I'm like oh okay, sorry, you want me to throw it out? He's like no, I think you better leave. Not wanting to start trouble, I'm like oh okay...I get it, but then he goes, can I get you anything? I'm like uh...yeah nah, I'm good. He's like alright, I think you better leave then. Part of me wanting to kick the table over right in front of him. I get it, our bad, it's not cool to chill and just not buy anything...but like don't talk to me like that then ask me if I wanna buy anything...like that's not you talk to customers and that's definitely not how you get people to buy your product.
3) This one happened today actually, which kinda triggered this whole post and reminded me of it. So I walk into this meeting late cuz my ride and everyone wanted to get drinks, so I had to wait, regardless of it I got a drink or not. I sit down with my boy and I take out my phone to look at it and this guy goes hey, can you put your phone away, you're already half an hour late. Like okay dad...first of all, don't talk to me like I'm a little kid. I'm just gonna keep it at that cuz I really wanted to go off on him then and now...but it ain't worth it. Bottom line is, how you speak to people is important. If you had whispered to me to put my phone away, or did it in a subtle way, that'd have been cool...but you somehow always gotta make it seem like you're an alpha eh, that's all I gotta say, watch your tone. Just like that dude at the softball diamond or the coffee shop owner...how you say things dictates you someone responds to you, it dictates the mood of the situation and conversation. In all three situations, if the softball dude, the coffee shop owner or this guy spoke to me differently, I wouldn't have reacted the way I did and am right now. Obviously I'm not saying I handle situations perfectly either, these are just some examples, I'm giving from my life...that people have thrown at me, that reminded me how important it is to watch HOW you say things to people and not just WHAT you say to them. I know this post has been a bit long...but it's been two weeks, I got a lot to catch up on lol, peace.
1) So I played softball this season and we hopped diamonds a lot of cuz they would be taken a lot of the times. So one day, we go to this diamond and another team comes up to us and go oh we've been at this diamond for a couple years now, we don't own it, but it would be common courtesy for you guys to essentially give us the diamond. Now what I just said didn't seem too rude, but the guy who I was talking to was hella rude, understandably stressed for having to deal with this...but he was also forceful and wouldn't let me get a word in. He kept bringing up common courtesy and respect...and I said to him okay, if you expect respect, you should be giving me the same by letting me talk instead of cutting me off every chance you get, you don't own the diamond...ESPECIALLY when you want something from someone, a favour, whatever it may be...TONE becomes extremely key. You don't get in someone's face and expect respect if you aren't willing to show that same respect backward.s. So an hour later a different guy approaches me and we talk about the same thing, but in a very calm, back and forth conversation. I told him, listen...I respect you coming here and having a civilized conversation with me, the other guy came and was whining like a baby, not letting me talk, I get he's stressed, but that's not how you talk to people. I told him it's not my wish to cause trouble and I'd have gladly gave him the diamond for future use if he had talked to my civilly and like a human being. So that was that, the second guy was cool and I decided to leave at that and give them that diamond.
2) Wow that first one was longer than expected. So this second one was like a week or so ago...I went to Starbucks with a friend and after a while we decided to switch to another coffee shop across the street for better wifi. We sat down and didn't buy anything, our bad obviously but I didn't wanna spend more money, my bad also cuz my Starbucks cup was on the table. We were sitting outside and after a couple minutes, this guy comes out and goes oh you can't have that cup here, I'm like oh okay, sorry, you want me to throw it out? He's like no, I think you better leave. Not wanting to start trouble, I'm like oh okay...I get it, but then he goes, can I get you anything? I'm like uh...yeah nah, I'm good. He's like alright, I think you better leave then. Part of me wanting to kick the table over right in front of him. I get it, our bad, it's not cool to chill and just not buy anything...but like don't talk to me like that then ask me if I wanna buy anything...like that's not you talk to customers and that's definitely not how you get people to buy your product.
3) This one happened today actually, which kinda triggered this whole post and reminded me of it. So I walk into this meeting late cuz my ride and everyone wanted to get drinks, so I had to wait, regardless of it I got a drink or not. I sit down with my boy and I take out my phone to look at it and this guy goes hey, can you put your phone away, you're already half an hour late. Like okay dad...first of all, don't talk to me like I'm a little kid. I'm just gonna keep it at that cuz I really wanted to go off on him then and now...but it ain't worth it. Bottom line is, how you speak to people is important. If you had whispered to me to put my phone away, or did it in a subtle way, that'd have been cool...but you somehow always gotta make it seem like you're an alpha eh, that's all I gotta say, watch your tone. Just like that dude at the softball diamond or the coffee shop owner...how you say things dictates you someone responds to you, it dictates the mood of the situation and conversation. In all three situations, if the softball dude, the coffee shop owner or this guy spoke to me differently, I wouldn't have reacted the way I did and am right now. Obviously I'm not saying I handle situations perfectly either, these are just some examples, I'm giving from my life...that people have thrown at me, that reminded me how important it is to watch HOW you say things to people and not just WHAT you say to them. I know this post has been a bit long...but it's been two weeks, I got a lot to catch up on lol, peace.
Sunday, September 10, 2017
It's Not Me, It's You
So I was driving a couple of days ago and was suddenly hit with a bunch of thoughts, a bunch of emotions...and I had to write it all down on my phone before I forgot cuz I was like wow this is such a dope topic for the blog. So I'm literally driving, obvs with my head up and focusing on the road...but I\m like texting on my phone on the notes app LOL...I'm like typing down all my thoughts and all the things I wanna talk about so I don't forget and once I get to a red light, I look at it and for the most part, it's pretty legible and easy to understand lol, so I quickly finish it up and here we go lol.
I think for both guys and girls...when you like somebody and say they don't like you back or things just don't get up working out...the first question we tend to ask is well what happened? How come they don't like me or how come it didn't work out? Did I do something? Was it me? And the more I sat in my car and thought about it...the more I thought about all the girls I liked....that either didn't like me back or that just didn't seem to work out. It made me think...dang...all these girls and relationships that just didn't work out...is it me? What's wrong with me? Why does this keep happening? I for once start thinking about myself, my personality, my approach and all that stuff...well maybe I'm too forward, maybe I need to change this about myself or change that about myself. Then the more I thought about it...I was like wait...that it's not me, it's YOU. Now hold up...lemme clarify before you go off on me and be like wow Rodmond, you're not all that. What I mean...is like when a girl doesn't like me or when things just don't end up working out...I tend to start looking at myself...and seeing well what can I change or improve about myself to make girls like me, to make sure things work out next time. And the more I thought about it...that's a terrible way to approach things. Like wow, she didn't like me cuz I was too nice, alright time to be a dick. Wow she didn''t like me because I wasn't into this hobby, time to learn everything I can about it so she'll like me. I guess what I'm trying to say is...personality wise, trait wise, character wise...it's not me, it's you. You...me...we shouldn't have to change ourselves, our personalities or force something to get someone to like us y'feel. As cliche as it sounds,be yourself. That's what I mean when I say it's not me, it's you. It's you because you just aren't the one for me, it's you because we just don't have that chemistry, we don't match well together, and that's okay...what's not okay is changing yourself to fit another person. I thought about it like a puzzle...if every single person is an individual puzzle peace...say you go out with a girl and it doesn't work out or she doesn't like you back...you don't cut the corners of the puzzle piece, you don't try to jam it into another puzzle piece...you find the puzzle piece that it actually fits into. And that's kinda how I'm seeing this right now...you shouldn't change your personality or force yourself to fit into someone else's mold...you just keep swimming until you find that other puzzle piece that fits you and vice versa. I say this because as I was thinking about al the girls that didn't like me back or didn't work out...it really made me feel bad, it really made me feel like something was wrong with me, that there was something I needed to change about myself or add to myself as a person...and it shouldn't be like that...for anybody. Your perfect or at least close to perfect puzzle piece is somewhere out there...you just have to have the patience and persistence to find it. Peace out.
I think for both guys and girls...when you like somebody and say they don't like you back or things just don't get up working out...the first question we tend to ask is well what happened? How come they don't like me or how come it didn't work out? Did I do something? Was it me? And the more I sat in my car and thought about it...the more I thought about all the girls I liked....that either didn't like me back or that just didn't seem to work out. It made me think...dang...all these girls and relationships that just didn't work out...is it me? What's wrong with me? Why does this keep happening? I for once start thinking about myself, my personality, my approach and all that stuff...well maybe I'm too forward, maybe I need to change this about myself or change that about myself. Then the more I thought about it...I was like wait...that it's not me, it's YOU. Now hold up...lemme clarify before you go off on me and be like wow Rodmond, you're not all that. What I mean...is like when a girl doesn't like me or when things just don't end up working out...I tend to start looking at myself...and seeing well what can I change or improve about myself to make girls like me, to make sure things work out next time. And the more I thought about it...that's a terrible way to approach things. Like wow, she didn't like me cuz I was too nice, alright time to be a dick. Wow she didn''t like me because I wasn't into this hobby, time to learn everything I can about it so she'll like me. I guess what I'm trying to say is...personality wise, trait wise, character wise...it's not me, it's you. You...me...we shouldn't have to change ourselves, our personalities or force something to get someone to like us y'feel. As cliche as it sounds,be yourself. That's what I mean when I say it's not me, it's you. It's you because you just aren't the one for me, it's you because we just don't have that chemistry, we don't match well together, and that's okay...what's not okay is changing yourself to fit another person. I thought about it like a puzzle...if every single person is an individual puzzle peace...say you go out with a girl and it doesn't work out or she doesn't like you back...you don't cut the corners of the puzzle piece, you don't try to jam it into another puzzle piece...you find the puzzle piece that it actually fits into. And that's kinda how I'm seeing this right now...you shouldn't change your personality or force yourself to fit into someone else's mold...you just keep swimming until you find that other puzzle piece that fits you and vice versa. I say this because as I was thinking about al the girls that didn't like me back or didn't work out...it really made me feel bad, it really made me feel like something was wrong with me, that there was something I needed to change about myself or add to myself as a person...and it shouldn't be like that...for anybody. Your perfect or at least close to perfect puzzle piece is somewhere out there...you just have to have the patience and persistence to find it. Peace out.
Thursday, September 07, 2017
Expectations vs Reality
Yo shoutout to my barber one time for inspiring me to write about this after the conversation we had. So he makes music and we were talking about how you have to be adaptable. How you truly have to love what you do and do it because of that and not because of the views or because you want to blow up or because of what people think. Perspectives are always differing and when you start doing something like music for the people, you set yourself up for disappointment. When you start doing it for the attention and the views is when you start losing motivation, that's kinda what sometimes happens to me with this blog. As a musician or a blogger...everything that I write, that I post...I think is dope, I think is quality and good content, otherwise I wouldn't post it. But not everyone who reads my posts will think the same way. Some posts that I write and post, people may think wow this is hella boring, wow this is garbage or wow this is poorly written. If I did it solely for the sake of people's opinions and thoughts, it could become hella demoralizing. In the same way, there are some posts I work really hard on and spend a lot of time on...in my head I'm like ALRIGHT, I know this post is gonna blow up, people are gonna love it...and sometimes, they don't end up feeling that way. On the flip side, sometimes I gingerly write a quick post with little thought and it does really well or gets a lot of views. You kinda see how if I did it solely for the views and people's attention how it could be super draining for me. In the same way I was telling my barber, every song you make, you think this is the one, this is a banger...but sometimes it's not always the case. Even the most popular artists you'll hear them talk about oh, this song on the album is my favourite or oh this song on the album means the most to me...and you'll be like what I never heard of that song or wow I would've never guessed. It's just interesting, cuz sometimes I get so caught up in trying to make the right post...the "right" post...that'll catch people's attention, that'll entertain people...that when it doesn't do as well as I had hoped, I get disappointed. I just gotta remind myself to do this all for myself...that everything else that comes along with it is just bonus. On that note...shoutout to my barber again for that reminder...and here's a link to what I think is his dopest song...give it a listen!
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