Emotional Investments

You know that saying oh I wear my heart on my sleeve, I think something I've learned about myself...something I've kinda always known but am finally seeing how big of a thing it is in my life is that I wear my heart on my sleeve very visibly and very boldly. I've been told I have a very straight face and I look very unapproachable, rbf is what they call it. But once you get to know me...simply put, I'm hella emotional LOL. One thing I know about myself is I get emotionally invested in people, things...mostly people...very quickly and if the vibe is right, if we gel, if there's chemistry...I'm gonna invest a lot of myself in you, even if we've just met. I think that's one reason why it's kinda hard for me to let things go, to let people go...friends, exes...it's hard for me to come to terms that oh we're not as good friends as we were before...or like cutting off my exes completely....it's just something I can't do. It's like hoarding to the extreme...I mean like I like keeping all my birthday cards, the letters from my ex, saving all my text messages from old phones, msn conversations. I think emotions are a really important thing to me...and it's also a weakness of mine...cuz I get emotionally invested too quickly and sometimes it's either not reciprocated or I end up regretting it cuz it wasn't what I expected you know. I dunno, it's something I love about myself but it's also something I hate about myself cuz I know it drags me down sometimes...but it also allows me to connect with people on a real deep and personal level. It's hard man...something about my personality can't help but value people's relationships and that intimate connection and bond with people you know. I love hearing people out, I love when someone feels that comfortable with you to be so open and honest...and vice versa, when someone listens to you with open ears and open hearts and you know they're really listening to care and to hear and not to judge. But yeah...I dunno, just something I've been thinking about as of late...so yeah...till next time, peace.