From The Heart: Family (I Need Some New Girl Friends Part 2)

The word family...to me can be used for numerous people. There are my blood family....my church fam, my school fam, my boys, things like that. Right now my church fam is really letting me down. At this point I don't care who reads what, this ain't a knock on everybody because some people I've gotten really close to and some people are still there for me. But real talks the girls at church are some of the closest I keep around but they are either too busy, wrapped up with other things which is understandable, to naive or lazy to respond or just weird in general. Again this ain't a knock on the whole just how I'm feeling right now and the ish that's been going on. I don't even know what I'm saying right my mind is half gone and I'm half asleep. I've drifted away from some of my church bro's as it is and I hate to lose any others, but at this point....it doesn't matter. I care so much about these people that lately....it just takes too much effort for the returns that I get. Again this ain't speaking to the whole cuz I've gotten close to many people...my boys....my kids....my dudes....I loove these kids and I can't wait to see each one of them grow up....these kids are gonna be amazing people and I'm super happy to be getting close to them now. As well my bro's....my bredgins....these guys are jokes....real ballers with swag...hahaha I love these guys too, they're fun to be around and game with and talk to lol. I dunno I guess the drama and disappointment comes mostly (MAINLY -_-) from the girls. Some I talk to on and off cuz they got their own ish to deal with and sometimes we're so into and it and sometimes we drift apart. Another one I've gotten really close to and am so glad to have gotten as close as I have but she irritates me at times to with her slow if not no responses....but overall still good to talk to. Lastly....this one is probably the most important of them all, no offence, but she doesn't realize it...though she should since I've emphasized it and told her and explained it in every way possible besides using different languages. Anyways I won't go into further detail or expose names but this is what led to me saying I need new girl friends....my dudes are the only ones holding me down at this point and I enjoy being around them. The girls are just....wasting my time....that's the best way to put it. I don't know what else to say but uh....maybe it's the lack of sleep talking or the lack of brain functioning that's getting me hyped or whack like this....but I think I have a point somewhere in this crazy rant...I do make sense don't I? Anyways....these are the times where I enjoy being alone or to myself with just my thoughts....no music even....just my thoughts and a blank screen open...and maybe a select VERY few people to talk to. As usual I appreciate you if you took the time to read this...or skim through it..or even just scroll all the way to the bottom just to see how much I read...this is my heart, my soul and my thoughts...on the spot, nothing but real, no scripts....straight from the heart.