Choose Happiness - An Encouragement From My Mom At Work

So there's this lady at work that when I first met, I absolutely hated lol. Those who know me can attest to this, she was super annoying, loud and overly aggressive. But the more I talked to her, the more I realized we had a lot in common and the more I grew to enjoy being around her and talking to her. She's literally like my mom at work. She's always asking how I'm doing, if I've been going to church (she goes to the same one) and if I've been eating right lol. One time I actually told her I'm like you know, at work I kinda look at you like my mom and she like hugged me and was like haha I kinda see you as a son too...in her loud asian accent lol. So anyways, we were talking about like work and school and life and she was like honestly, follow you heart, do what makes you happy. Every time I see her she's always super happy and joyful and she's always like yeah because my hope and my joy comes from God and I'm like well damn lol. I honestly didn't have the heart to tell her I haven't been going to church as of late. I told her about how I'm going back to school and was feeling really nervous and anxious and she's like hey...be strong, be confident...you have to if you want to succeed in life. She told me how she was thinking of going back to school too...how work was finally getting to her, how nothing's changed in almost a year and she's not really happy anymore. She's like I spoke to our manager and he was like how come no one at this store smiles and she's like that's cuz you guys don't really care about us and the environment is horrible lol, yeah she said that to him lol she's hella blunt like that. But yeah, I told her how I'm going part time, how I've been unhappy for a while and she's maybe it's the right time to move on...as long as whatever you do end up choosing to do, you love it and it makes you happy.

This kinda leads me to the second part of the post...this idea of choosing happiness, even if that means change. Sometimes when I'm at work doing random stuff...I'm like man, this place is so depressing...literally there's nothing joyful about work...maybe when a little kid falls or a customer does something stupid I'll chuckle...my coworkers are the only dope aspect of work...and that's just socializing tbh lol. I just feel like I've exhausted my time here and the feeling I had when I first started working compared to now is drastically different, it's just time to move on...but in any situation, there always comes a time where you have to either make a change or move on. Think about being in a relationship...if it's not going anywhere, if it's not making you happy, maybe it's time to move on. There should be some sort of end goal, it shouldn't be just dicking around together for years and years, that's a waste of time. That's kinda the mindset I've been in lately...choose happiness, do what makes you happy and if you are in a situation where you're unhappy, change it or leave. Feel like that's applicable in so many aspects...friends, relationships, jobs. Sometimes people stay cuz it's comfortable, cuz it's been such a long time...that's just straight up unhealthy. Comfort is a good thing, but too much comfort makes you feel complacent, it makes you feel stagnant, like nothings moving, like nothing's going on. So I mean even with school comin gup, I was super stressed, nervous and anxious at first...but the more I thought about it...it's kinda a good thing. My friends were like well it makes sense to feel that way cuz you've been outta school for a year or two...once you get back into the swing of things it won't be so bad. And I mean looking long term and looking at the bigger picture, the whole point of school is so it'll set me up in the future with hopefully something I can see myself doing for the rest of my life. Something that will give me some sort of enjoyment. That's one of the biggest things I've learned about myself at my current work place...the importance of happiness, doesn't matter how much you're getting paid or whatever...I can't imagine getting up every single day and going to a place or doing things you hate for 8 hours a day for the rest of your life...the minute you open your eyes, frick...the moment you walk into work, damn it...I'm not tryna live like that...if you can, more power to you but I think I really need to find some sort of enjoyment or purpose in my work otherwise why am I here...if the only motivation is money I feel like I'll never truly be satisfied y'feel? But yeah, I've had a lot on my mind and on my plate this past month with moving and everything going on...which explains the longer posts as of late...but hey, some people dig it, some people want shorter posts, some people want girl posts, some people want motivation/inspiration, some people want funny stories...you can't please everybody, just gotta keep doing you and whatever comes comes. I'll see you soon.

The Art Of Letting Go

The Art Of Being Lowkey

The Art Of Surprise

The Art Of Listening

First off, if you wanna read the other 'Art Of' posts, they'll be linked above. To be honest, this is something I haven't really figured out and still struggle with to this day, so I'm not too sure why I find myself writing this post lol. I looked up 'how to let go' on google and stumbled on a dope article on a site where people write about literally anything and everything, it's pretty cool, again I'll link it below. I' a really bad hoarder like I've mentioned before, that probably plays into why I'm so bad at letting things and letting people go. Simply put, you can't move onto something new if you're still holding onto something old. Easy enough to comprehend, but much more difficult to put to practice. I mean when it's something or someone of significant importance and meaning it's kinda hard to just let it go like it's nothing. But sometimes, when something or someone has reached their expiration date, fulfilled their use/purpose in your life and can't really offer/do much more for you, it's time to let go and move on. Holding on is one of if not the biggest thing stopping you from moving on. I told you I was reading an article and it talked about letting go being something challenging, scary and painful if it's something you feel you're not ready to let go of. It's especially worse when your heart and your mind are telling you 2 different things...a struggle I'm sure many of us face when it comes to making important decisions.


“Letting go is releasing all doubt, worry, and fear about a situation, person or outcome. It's releasing anything that disrupts your happiness and no longer serves you on your journey. Letting go is a choice to decide that you will no longer ruminate on tbings that are out of your control, and focuss on what you can control, instead.”

Going back tot he last post about choosing happiness, sometimes you have to let go of things/people that you care about or are important but ultimately harmful to you. Pretty sure we all can attest to finding joy or pleasure in something or someone we know isn't good for us but rather harmful. “Letting go creates space for fresh beginnings.” Y'all know I'm in the process of moving and in the process I had to go through a lot of my old clothes and throw away a lot of them, it created so much space for all my other stuff and all the new stuff that I'll probably end up buying in the future. Similarly, going back to my first point, you can't move on to something new until you've let go of the old. One of the points they mentioned in the article is the idea of 'getting it all out'. What that means is to express your emotions, to physically get it out. Whether that means writing it down, talking to something or whatever. It helps you process it, it makes it real and it also helps with stress release. Keeping everything bottled up is the worst thing you can do because eventually, it all comes spilling out. It's important to find what works for you and how you choose to get it all out. Friends, family, therapist or maybe someone with an unbiased opinion who can assess whatever you're going through and respond accordingly. After getting it all out comes acceptance. I kinda had to really sit and take a look at myself in the mirror when I read this part. Especially when I got to the part that said;


“we don't always get that closure we think we ought to have...fully accepting the situation as it is without constantly wishing it would be different is really the only way to getting on the road to being okay.”


The last idea in the article was to 'stay present'. Sounds simple enough, to be in the present and to enjoy and embrace it. It's easy to get so caught up in the past and what was that you totally neglect what's right in front of you...new opportunities, new beginnings, new chapters and much more. The best illustration I can leave you with is what I heard when I was a kid doing track and field. First of all, I was never fast lol but when you're running they tell you not to look back because it slows you down, as much as you want to see where the other racers are and how close or far they are away from you, when you look back it slows you down. That's kinda where I wanna leave this at...that whatever you're holding on to, ask yourself is it doing more help or harm to your happiness, has it fulfilled it's purpose in your journey and is it just simply time to let go and move on.


“Believe in God like the sun up in the sky,
science can tell us how but it can't tell us why.
I seen a baby cry then seconds later she laughed,
the beauty of life, the pain never lasts.”
J. Cole – The Badness

https://medium.com/personal-growth/to-anyone-who-struggles-with-letting-go-ed5bf12fb1e6

The Life Of A Teacher

I know I'm only volunteering at this school...but I'm pretty much a part time teacher cuz my teacher lets me teach full on lessons, handle kids one on one, mark stuff. Today was a chill day, friday, the Jays game was on, the atmosphere was real nice. Lemme start by saying kids these days are hella spoiled...definitely different from when I was in school lol. They like bring their own laptops and stuff to school, are on their phones in class. During recess, kids choose to stay indoors...and when I asked them why they didn't wanna outside, they were like it;s cold LOL.They rather stay inside and play on their laptops. Same thing with lunch time, they eat their lunch, bring out their laptops and ipads and stuff...it's hilarious. It's cool not being a student to my teacher any more, but more of a friend/colleague...and it's crazy to see how teacher's act and speak to each other/about each other behind the scenes lol. The drama that goes on in school between teachers and staff members...wow, it's crazy. The janitor got pissed at my teacher for leaving the windows open after school when he told him not to, so he took away the levers...LOL...to the point where the principal had to get involved and was like yo...why'd you take away the levers, chill, it's not that big a deal. Like I said, today was a chill day, the Jays were playing...so after lunch at like 12 ish...a bunch of classes started streaming the Jays game on the projectors LOL. What else happened...I started marking these assignments, I marked one...my teacher looked at it and was like wow, you're an easy marker LOOOL I would've never given that. My teacher and I had a real good heart to heart...about life, school, work, family...it's crazy...to think this guy used to teach me and be my coach...and now he's pouring his heart out to me, sharing things about his personal life, dang. I told him how I love the relationship he has with the other grade 8 teacher...they're so chill, they talk ish about other teachers, students, they go for lunch together, they coach together, they randomly walk into each other's classes while they're teaching and make jokes and such, it's hilarious...something I want to have when or if /I become a teacher. But the best thing about coming and volunteering...the kids...them leaving and telling you to have a good weekend...asking if you're come more often than once a week...thanking you for helping them or whatever...that hits your hard man. Seeing their happiness and joy because of something you said or did...or how far a good job or keep it up or nice try can go. I'm telling you, the longest I do this, the more I'm convinced it's what I'm meant to do for the rest of my life.

From The Heart: Appreciation

Now that I've had time to vent, punch stuff, and relax...hot shower, ball, music...things like that...I'm tackling this with a clear...somewhat clear mind. I just wanna say thanks...thanks to everyone who endured this little "saga" with me. From the bunches and bunches of people I messaged and annoyed to help me check the bus and talk to the bus driver...thank you...friends and randoms...I messaged everyone lol, everyone who went to York and took the same bus as me, and they actually helped me out, thanks to you guys...for your effort, your care and your comfort, thank you so much. Thanks for all the encouraging words...at the time at least lol...a bunch of you had told me about how you lost stuff on the GO bus before...phones, textbooks and wallets and y'all had got it back, even though I didn't get it back...it's the thought that count...and it really did cheer me up and up my hopes...so thanks for that, for that little period of easing in my mind. To all the people who prayed for me, and voiced out to me that they did so...both during and after this whole saga...I appreciate it and am so thankful to have people who care that much about me to pray for me, thanks. Now this is towards moreso after this entire saga...moreso today since everything happened today, though it felt like more than that, it only happened in the span of one day. To all the people who sent me tweets, dm'ed me, replied to my tweets...with kind words, encouraging words, tips, hints, comfort...everything...I appreciate it, I really do...it gave me comfort, though temporary...it helped keep me sane, to know that this world is still filled with people who do care and would choose to do the right thing. To all the people who texted me to keep my head up, to stay strong...not to let this get me down, thank you...it really did hit me hard and it means a lot to me as well. To the select few who actually took the time out to call me...and offer me their suggestions, their comfort, their encouragement...the next best thing to talking to people in person is actually talking to people on the phone and just hearing their voice...thank you for the tips and and just the helpful advice and words of encouragement as well. Lastly...thanks to those who tried to calm me down, to bring me back down to reality...I know I ignored, pushed you guys away...but in the mood I was in, it was for the best...cuz I probs would've lashed out at you...and I wouldn't feel right talking to you guys saying oh yeah yeah, that's right true...I'm good, I should let it go, etc...it wouldn't have been sincere. Really lastly now...to the people I offended, disappointed, hit a nerve, insulted...whatever...I'm not too sure if I'm really ready to say sorry cuz I'm not over the whole saga and I don't in my heart of hearts really feel bad or feel the need to apologize...yet at least. Part of me does debate whether I perhaps said too much and crossed the line...but you have to step in my shoes...really try to step in my shoes and understand how I was feeling...when emotion...whether anger, sadness, happiness...just consumes you...you can't control it...you can't control how you feel, what goes on in your head...and everything that happens inside, just wants to get out. So no...I'm not asking for nor am I going to give an apology, yet...as well I'm not going to go out of my way, nor to I expect any of you who took this hard to try to make amends...I'm still in a very iffy mood about this whole thing. But that's not the point of this point...the point is appreciation...and I'm so thankful, blessed and appreciative to have people around me who care about me...who genuinely care about my well being and what happens to me. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything...thank you for enduring my little moment of just venting...simply put...thanks for being there.

Guest Writer #18: SpeakingMyMind

Hey friends, been busy today, not at home atm, here's a rough draft of today's guest post. Shout outs to my homie aka the first guest writer ever.

Guest Writer #1: SpeakingMyMind
Guest Writer #2: Letters To You
Guest Writer #3: TC
Guest Writer #4: Anonymous Queen B
Guest Writer #5: Someone You Used To Know
Guest Writer #6: Heartlocked
Guest Writer #7: LG Slayer 231
Guest Writer #8: TC
Guest Writer #9: G. Ho
Guest Writer #10: Golden Frieza
Guest Writer #11: Ghost Writer
Guest Writer #12: Pink Precariat
Guest Writer #13: Disconnect
Guest Writer #14: Daniel
Guest Writer #15: Golden Frieza
Guest Writer #16: Someone You Used To Know
Guest Writer #17: Yellow Rose

Someone recently asked me a question that I have been thinking about for a while. The question was “Why are you with her?”. I thought about this question because, it made me think about my whole relationship with this person. As I kept thinking about “Why am I with her?”….”WHY am I with her”, I finally realize that I have been thinking about this question all wrong. “Why am I with her?” shouldn’t be about my PAST with her but the question was asked for me to think about my FUTURE with her. I am with her because I want a future with her. If not I should have just found a booty call or one night stands, but no. I choose to be with her because I liked her…. and it has led me to love her (ask me to prove what Is love? I can’t because everyone has a different opinion BUT…).  This train of thought has led me to think about something else, which is the subject of marriage. I recently had a conversation with her about it and she said “I don’t know why people our age are scared of it, and scared to admit that maybe he/she might be the one”. I thought about it and It got me to think about maybe they haven’t met the right person and deep down they are scared to admit that they don’t want to be with them in the future. They want them now, and just the happiness they feel now, disregarding their future. Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel that once you met someone that makes your life easier. Someone that you love even though they may get on your nerves sometimes. Someone that makes the day brighter even when you’re having the worst day of your life. You shouldn’t be afraid to admit they might be the one. 

I just want whoever is reading this to ask yourself: “why are you with him/her” and really think about the future, if you don’t see yourself with them in the future, don’t waste your time and her time because in the end you’ll regret it.

Mementos & Memories

Hey friends, I know it’s been a while lol I apologize. I’ve been in a weird head space lately and haven’t really even been thinking about writing. The guest post is good and ready, could’ve posted it Monday but decided to save it for next Monday, yeah I dunno it just feels like I have so much on my plate but at the same time like I’m not really doing anything about it LOL. Reaching the finish line fr school, graduating this year, gotta start looking for jobs, still got work and like co vid kinda also zaps you of like any motivation or energy to want to do anything lol or maybe that’s just me. I was scrolling through the notes on my phone like hmm maybe I should put out a post tonight, but I was like man I dunno what to talk about lol I’m not really feeling any of these. The it kinda hit me as I was staring at the note. It’s crazy how lspecific songs, things, places or whatever will remind you of people or even specific moments that you had with those people. This applies to like all my friends but it definitely hits harder with the people I don’t talk to anymore you know. Like obvs there’s things that remind me of my friends, but because I still see and talk to them and we’re still creating new memories, it’s a thought that comes and goes. Whereas with people I don’t talk to anymore, that’s all I really have…memories, so it kinda lingers you know. Like when I was in high school there were specific songs that reminded me and still do remind me of specific girls in my life lol and I used to stay away from those songs cuz I didn’t wanna think about it but now it’s funny to listen to cuz their faces are like attached to those songs for me. I look at like my basement and all the hours I spent gaming with the guys and random sleepovers that really weren’t sleepovers cuz we’d play videogames till like 4 am, sleep for a few hours then wake up and play more videogames LOL. Everytime I walk past this park it reminds me of all the times I would chill with this one girl and we’d talk for hours late into the night just chilling in the park. I even look at certain restaurants like oh damn I remember I met up with so and so here and we talked about this or this happened. It’s really crazy and really cool to think about…in a happy and sad way lol like it sucks it’ll never be like that again but I’m happy that it happened and I can look back on it you know. Because I’m such a hoarder of sorts, I like to keep these things to look back on…old birthday cards that just say happy birthday rodmond and then a signature, I keep that stuff lol…letters from my ex (we’ll talk about that another time)…random cards from like baptism, Christmas, etc. It’s also why I love looking back on like yearbooks too lol…it’s like I enjoy the sadness it brings but also the happiness in looking back at the memories LOOOL is that weird, or rather does that even make sense? I look at this blog for example…my life told through posts…stories, experiences, lessons that I get to look back on if I ever choose to. And at the end of the day, things that led and helped me get to the point that I’m at today. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t like deleting or throwing things away lol whether old conversations or physical mementos, I keep that stuff for the accidental times I come across it or the random times I clean my room and find it LOL. But yeah, I hope you’re doing well…maybe I’ll hit y’all with an update post when I collect my thoughts lol, catch y’all on the flip side…PEACE.

Guest Writer #10: Golden Frieza

Guest Writer #1: SpeakingMyMind
Guest Writer #2: Letters To You
Guest Writer #3: TC
Guest Writer #4: Anonymous Queen B
Guest Writer #5: Someone You Used To Know
Guest Writer #6: Heartlocked
Guest Writer #7: LG Slayer 231
Guest Writer #8: TC
Guest Writer #9: G. Ho

Keeping this short cuz the post is...long LOL. Thanks to the homie for taking the time to share ALL his thoughts...he took the time to pour his heart, please do take the time to read through it all, as best as you can lol...here you go, enjoy.
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When I was asked to be a guest writer on the blog, I already knew what I was going to write about. Simply because I am feeling a certain way right now and I was sitting on my bed thinking, when getting a text. You can call it fate I guess. This gives me an outlet to let out how I actually feel. Feel about myself, feel about others, feel about the world, feel about the universe. I am going to warn you now, the way I am thinking and feeling right now, this is probably going to be LONG, like Subway footlong LONG, like Wolf of Wall Street LONG, like watching all the Lord of the Ring movies LONG, like … Alright I’ll stop. Seriously though, if you have the same attention span as me, just don’t read any further.

Anyways, I’m sitting here, ready to graduate school finally, and have so many assignments due, and what am I doing? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Literally. Before writing this I was literally going on random websites, going on Facebook, reminiscing about life. I have noticed that for the past little while I have been so unmotivated to do anything. And I don’t know why. I know I used to be motivated, I could finish an essay within a day and still get an A on it, or even an A+. I am a procrastinator, that’s just me, I’m late finishing my assignments, late to get ready, late to arrive places. I just do everything late. I even finish late (if you know what I mean ;). But I have never been this unmotivated before, it’s like I skip class, sleep in, don’t make use of my days anymore. And I don’t know if it’s because I am close to the end, or if it is because I don’t know where to go from here.

I have goals, aspirations, as we all do. I want to be a ballet dancer. An elegant, beautiful ballet dancer, that can rock a tutu and look stunning without trying, doing the pirouette so elegantly while people watch me on a New York City stage, but I don’t have the body for it. I have wanted to go start working out for so long, but I haven’t even done that yet. I feel like it’s time for a change. Really though, when I think about why I am unmotivated, I realize it might be my friends influencing me. I have friends who are successful, they don’t have jobs, they have CAREERS they are doing well, and that’s who I want to be around. See the thing is I am VERY competitive. If I don’t win in something, I literally won’t stop until I win. So these types of friends are good for me, they motivate me to be a better person, because as shallow as this sounds, in the end my goal is to be better than them. Not in spite of them, but just to prove to myself that I can do it.

Then I have another group of friends, and these are the ones that are bad for me. I love them with all my heart, but they are the ones who aren’t in school. They are mentally incapable of doing school work or having a decent attention span, and literally just working retail jobs and staying out all night at Tim Horton’s doing absolutely nothing, maybe occasionally smoking here and there. I don’t want to compete with them, because then it doesn’t push me, it doesn’t push me to be a better person. I am not saying I am better than them, but there is an end goal, and they don’t seem to have an end goal. It’s like they don’t know what to do with their lives, so they just do nothing and hope everything ends up well. One of my friends had an interview downtown as a mail boy. Like you know, the people in offices who put the mail in the right slot for whoever the mail is meant for. When I spoke to him, he was saying how this wasn’t just any job, it was a “CAREER” and not to be condescending (I guess it’s too late) but when did being a mail boy become a career? When did someone get a job as a mail boy and say to themselves “N**** WE MADE IT”. It was funny, actually it kind of sucked, because he didn’t get the job because even for THAT job, they expected him to have some sort of college diploma, degree or experience. I didn’t realize putting mail in a slot needed extensive research and experience. I was a paper boy when I was 8 years old and I KILLED IT, put the papers on the right door step, so people didn’t have to step outside, they could reach from inside. I must have been a CHILD prodigy according to these people. Then I had another friend (who’s friends with the other guy I just mentioned, same friend circle) who’s girlfriend broke up with him because she was in school for travel and tourism and she was like “I need to focus on school, I need to focus on school and I am going to be travelling a lot” alright no offense, but you do realize travel and tourism is basically being a travel agent right? Even if you were a travel agent in another country you wouldn’t be going all around the world, you would be in just on other country. I think what you’re thinking of is “FLIGHT ATTENDANT” which you clearly are not in. Sorry I sound condescending again, but him and his girlfriend dated for like 4 years, and when I found out that was the reason, I didn’t know whether to laugh, or to shoot myself in the head, twice. It was at this point where I realized that their goals and my goals weren’t on the same level, what they considered to be “careers” and “life changing” wasn’t the same for me. Even what I am aiming to be, which is a teacher, isn’t what I think of when I think “I MADE IT”. But it is my goal, because I WANT to do it. I have high expectations of myself. Especially because one of my friends is already successful, and is making more money than probably some of our parents do. Now money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does buy a hell of a lot of other things, so basically F*** happiness, I just bought a BMW, a Benz, and the blonde that likes my new convertible just gave me her number, I don’t know about you, but that’s pretty close to happiness.

Now I know I sound like an asshole, but I feel like a lot of people try to be nice, and say nice things about people, just to get stepped on themselves. A lot of people try playing the nice card, and be nice to everyone, but I have seen the same people get used, over and over again, and they still continue to be nice. Now I am not saying to be a total asshole like me. But what I am saying is why let people feel like they are better than you? That’s one thing I NEVER let happen, it’s my biggest pet peeve. When people think they are better than me, or think they have some sort of control over me, that’s why I make sure they know they don’t. They don’t intimidate me with their size, strength or power. Why? Because why should they? If I let them think they are better than me once, what stops them from using me again and again because they know they can. No ones better than anyone else. We all should be entitled to the same thing. But because of people like this, it makes me feel like I am better than them. Like I said before, I am very competitive. A friend was telling me about how they were talking about me, and how I have a bad temper, and they said I am like someone else they know that even if the person was twice my size, and I knew I was going to lose the fight, I still wouldn’t back down or get intimidated if they pissed me off. Honestly, you can call it stupidity more than you can call it bravery or courage, but screw it. When someone picks a fight with me, I feel like they are competing with me, they think they are better than me, they think they can control me with their intimidation, and that’s something I can’t stand for. Even if I did lose the fight, at least I would know I didn’t back down. So why I did I quit on this? Why did I lose motivation? Why did I stop going to class, why did I stop doing my assignments, why at almost 2 o clock in the morning instead of doing my assignment am I writing this post? What has changed in my life that has got my so unmotivated to meet my commitments? Honestly, I still don’t know. I keep telling myself, tomorrow, tomorrow I will do this, tomorrow I will do that, but I never do it. I need to start, because honestly I could die tomorrow and I would be up in heaven (yeah assholes I am going to heaven, I helped an old lady close her trunk one day and that most likely guaranteed me a spot in heaven, so F off) looking down at the world and be like, why didn’t I grab the bull by the horns instead of have his balls in my mouth?

Man if this was my essay that I had to do, it would almost be done, I think I’m at like 1700 words by now or something. Hopefully after this, I will get motivated to complete it. I honestly can’t wait to be done, I can’t wait to find that spark that gets me motivated to be a better person again, in everything that I do. My friends, family, and everyone around me influence and reflect who I am, and I want to show them that they reflected well on me and that they didn’t do me wrong (even the friend circle with different goals than me, because they have certain goals unrelated to life that align with mine). Actually, thinking about it now, it’s weird. We go through life, being in school for like half our life, 8 am to 3 pm everyday, then homework, then we go to university 3 hour lectures, sometimes 9 hour days on and off, and homework and reading in between and then we go to work, 9-5, plus travel time, so really like 5 am wake up, 7 pm get home, eat dinner, go to sleep, and repeat. It’s funny because that’s called “success”. We get a good job that keeps us at work all day, just to make money to buy a fancy car that can take us to this job, and then a nice house that we just use to sleep in. Sometimes you get 2-4 weeks of vacation time, but the rest of the time, you’re out there working. Our parents push us to be these people, society views us as garbage if we aren’t these people, or if we aren’t making money. Heck, even I was bashing on my friends for thinking a mail boy was a freaking career. It goes to show you the influence society has had on us.

Everyone looks forward to retirement, where you don’t have to work, you saved enough that you can live by the beach, no worries, no cares. But really? Your wifes tits are saggy, your balls have dropped, you go to a concert to dance and you’ll probably die of a heart attack or pee yourself while waiting to line up to the washroom where the other 500 alcoholic 20 something year olds just downed like 7 beers and really need to pee. You can only do stuff when you’re young sometimes, and we sometimes try to save money here and there, and say oh I need it for the future for this and that, or I have to pay for this and that, and I don’t want to be in debt. But who cares. You have your whole life to pay that off, but you can only enjoy some things NOW. So why not YOLO, for real, cause not only do you only live once, you are also only young once, and you won’t get that back. Even I feel old already, people my age are in the NBA, they are rappers, singer, actors, nurses, heck even CEOs. It’s like you look at yourself and you’re like what have I done with my life? What have I done that made a difference for myself, or others, or have got me known. I always wanted to do things, but never thought to do it. I feel like friends are the way to motivate you, to be like hey man lets go do this or do that. I have mentioned random things to my friends before, and they said yeah let’s do it. And then I would never follow up or do it, but who knows? What if that led to something, what if that LEADS to something now? Honestly it’s never to late to make a change, do what you want, and take risks. I’m not trying to be those motivational people but I am just being real. Screw the people who say you can’t do it, screw yourself for thinking you can’t do it, screw people who think they are better than you at something. You think we would have authors, doctors, actors, NBA players or even strippers if they listened to people who said they “couldn’t”. I am pretty sure half the people on youtube didn’t envision that they would be this famous. Pretty sure Justin Bieber didn’t think he would be THIS famous, just positing youtube videos and singing on a random step in a small town in Ontario. So what stops us from doing it? Any of us, anyone who reads this, any of my friends, me, you, your girlfriend, your mom, your dad, your brother, sister, dog, pet monkey with a fur coat that shops at Ikea, ALL of us. We all have the potential to be something greater, everyday, we have a chance. It’s all fate. The universe can be kind, things can fall into place. Just how people can be in the wrong place at the wrong time, you can be in the RIGHT place at the RIGHT time.

Now, I already went on a tangent, this was already long, like you probably could’ve watched the whole harry potter series, twice, and read the books, twice, and probably baked a tray of cookies and finished them all before you finished reading this. But when I texted asking how long I can write it, he said I can write a novel if I want, so that’s what I shall do. But seriously though, I want to touch upon the idea of fate. I feel like a lot of people don’t believe in fate, and I don’t want to bash you for your beliefs, but you guys are idiots. Like look at everything that has happened in your life. You have what you have, you are what you are, because you were in a certain place at a certain time. If the universe wanted it for you, they would place it for you, and if you try and go away from that and make a decision that tries to alter your fate, something else will happen to put you back into that position. Just think about it, you have the friends that you have because you live where you live. If your parents didn’t move to that area, your friend circle would be TOTALLY different. But it’s fate. It’s like with my friend here who runs this blog, we went to the same elementary school for one grade, never really talked ever, he was in a different class. First few years of high school we talked here and there but never that much. But then the last year of high school we were in the same English class. Now there would a chance we didn’t talk, but the thing is, one event can change everything. That’s my point, one event that happens, can influence a whole future of other events. Now the one thing that happened was that unlike other classes, where students can sit where they want, or in groups. This class the teacher arranged us alphabetically by our last name. Now me and my friend here have similar last names, so we sat beside each other, and from then on we got much closer, and another friend was in that class, who’s one of our best friends, who was sitting in the row next to us, just a little to the back. Because of this class, they became best friends too. Now we did talk outside of class, if he wanted a hook up on something I would get it.

The thing is I used to hustle since I was in grade 5, I was selling yu gi oh cards to high school kids when I was in grade 5, exchanged other kids red pocket money for yu gi oh cards, basically chinese new year was amazing for me. So anyways, we got even closer from that, he would come to my house to pick up the things, and we would talk. After high school ended we still talked, but not that much going into the first year of university, but again, something else happened that got us closer. We had a mutual friend, who I was hanging out with a lot in second year university, and we used to go to his house a lot to watch the super bowl, finals of the NBA, and just do other things. One day we all decided to go to the movies, and ever since then, we made it a weekly routine. This got us even closer, all of us. Now we are really good friends, and we talk all the time, hang out all the time, and they are one of my best friends. But see my point is, is that all these events kept happening, because the universe wanted us to be friends. They kept pushing all these things to happen in order for us to come together. Now it may sound cheesy, but think about it. If the teacher hadn’t put us alphabetically, if I took English class in summer school like I planned to, I wouldn’t have met him and talked to him to that extent. If I didn’t go to my friends house to watch things and decided to watch them at home instead, we wouldn’t have been reunited. If we didn’t decide to make movies a regular thing, we wouldn’t have been as close as we would have been.

Now fate has played a big part in my life. When I was in high school, trying to figure out what to do, I finally realized I wanted to be a teacher.

Now if you have been reading the whole time, first of all you are one crazy mother f*cker who either is interested in what I have to say, or has nothing better to do. But if you actually read it you are probably like, wait? If you are now saying that fate is going to get to where you are supposed to be no matter what, what is the point of trying, if you were meant to get something it will fall in your lap, even if all you’re doing it sitting at home masturbating. Well yes and no. I feel like if it is fate for you to do something, the universe will send you signs to go out and do something. It’s like you’re someone who didn’t want to do school after high school, so you’re sitting at home, watching TV, and all of a sudden a commercial for Everest college or something comes on the TV, and all of a sudden your moms like “maybe you should go to school too” and you’re like “hmmm maybe I should” and you go check out a program, you think it’s interesting and BAM you’re in school for something, you complete it, and you are doing that job. It was all meant to be.

NOTE: So according to my computer, I wrote the whole above portion on April 1^st, I went off on writing and now it’s May 18^th, and I am finally continuing this blog post. Now I apologize to the infamous RT of Best You Never Heard for the delay, but as I said, I am a procrastinator.

So here I am, school has ended, and I was supposed to graduate, key words “SUPPOSED TO”. The thing is, I had to get a C in one of my classes to pass, and I didn’t get that C. I kind of winged that course because I thought what the hell, it’s a C, I can get that easily, apparently not. I usually get A’s in my courses in university, but I have been slacking. Even though I have been slacking I have managed to get A’s in some of my courses. But again, I believe that this happened for a reason. I believe fate has landed me in this position where I have to go back for a full year (it’s a two credit course) just for this one course. I am not sure where this path will take me, but what I do know is that there is a reason why I didn’t pass this course. I asked my prof many times if it was possible to boost me to a C, and she rejected my cry for help. So I know this is bigger than me, I know it happened for a reason. I am just not sure why it happened, but I am sure I will soon find out.

Like I said, everything happens for a reason, and a good reason. I have seen it time and time again for many people in my life, and in own life. If you don’t believe in fate, you are probably reading this like wow this guy is an idiot, well suck on a damp branch because I don’t care. Look around you and look at what happens in your daily life, and look at all the “bad” things that happened in your life. Did something come from those bad things? What did you learn? What happened because of it? Are you in a better spot now than you were before the bad thing happened? A lot of people seem to be very pessimistic sometimes. They look at situations and stress themselves out and think their life is over. They break up with their girlfriend, life’s over. They fail a course, life’s over. They get into a minor car accident and their insurance goes up, life’s over. The point of overreacting and stressing over things that in the bigger picture are really very miniscule is pointless.

I personally try to live in the moment, live for today, because I don’t know how tomorrow will be. If I have a chance to travel with friends that I like, I will do it. Because I don’t know if those same friends will have enough money later on to do it, I don’t know if I will have time later on to do it, so why not now. There are chances I had to travel with people, but I rejected their offer because I didn’t like one of the people in the group, or I felt like travelling with them wouldn’t be that fun. So what’s the point of travelling with people who you don’t think you will enjoy being with? I like to be myself around my friends, feel like I am not being judged, feel like there are no underlying feelings of hatred or grudges held against each other. If someone is going to overreact to situations, they are not welcome in my life. If you take things too seriously, or be sensitive over a small situation, then you honestly can jump off a cliff for all I care, because I seriously don’t need people in my life who are going to make my life harder by getting into huge arguments over small things.

This takes me to a certain situation that I want to address before ending this blog post. There are people in your life who will have “bipolar” personalities. One day, they’re your friend, they want to hang out with you, they want to know about your life, they are kind and joke around with you. The next day, they are mean, they are judging, and they take everything you say to heart, and start arguing and fighting with you, and you don’t even know who you’re talking to anymore. Now these are the people I hate. Mainly because you don’t know who they really are. They hide behind different personas, they make excuses, and they are literally pieces of shit. Now I don’t mind arguing with people to a certain extent, as long as there is a solution at the end. But, if it gets physical, I take that to heart. Mainly because it takes a lot of willpower to not get physical, and if you really do care about your friend, you wouldn’t try and hurt them with violence, a push and a shove is one thing, but a punch or a kick is another. Those are the things that get on my nerves. I find that to be a sign of disrespect, and I literally do not care if you die, I hold grudges, and I will hold that grudge until I see you at your funeral, laying down in that coffin. But hey, at least I was respectful enough to come to your funeral. Now you may think I am being harsh. Maybe I am. But there is one person that comes to mind, who I have known since elementary school, and who I have hated since then. In elementary school, when I was a child, I would imagine him burning in his house, just burning, and dying and being out of my life, making my life much easier. I know it sounds borderline psychopathic, and maybe it is. But I have always been the type to hold grudges and hate people who cannot act in a positive way. Why bring your negative bullshit into other people’s lives? Compose yourself in a good manner, because one of these days, you’ll end up in a body bag. Not by me, because I am not stupid enough to stab you in your stupid face, but you will piss off the wrong person, and when that day happens, I will know that it happened for a reason.

Now I am obviously not going to end off on a negative note. The reason I said that part was because A. I wanted to get that off my chest, and B. because it was a leeway into what I am going to say next. Now I know I have been talking a lot about fate, and this is what ties into it. I feel that certain people are put into your life for a reason. The same, certain people are taken out of your life for a reason. A person enters your life, and bring you immense joy, day in and day out, or a person can enter your life, and make your life miserable, or a person can enter your life and YOU can either bring them immense joy or make their life miserable. It’s all in your own state of mind, and what you choose to do.

I have always been a good person. I try and help out whenever I can. But I have reached a part of my life where I have realized the world we live in. A world full of A-holes. Straight up, that’s the world we live in. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you cannot rid the world of A-holes, they are everywhere. They are in your school, at work, at the supermarket, at the bar, in the barber shop, under your bed, they are everywhere. And I have come to the point where I don’t care if I am one too, because realistically, being nice doesn’t get you anywhere. So I am not going to take anyone else’s bullshit, because that’s not who I am. I live my life, how I want to live it. The people in my life are there for a reason, if they deserve my respect, and my kindness, I will give it to them, if they don’t then they won’t get it. It’s as simple as that.

When you look at your life, and what you have accomplished, don’t just look at your own life. Look at the people’s lives around you also. What have you done for them? What have they done for you? Are you having a positive effect on them? A negative effect? Are you happy with the effect you have and had on them? Because at the end of the day, we are all here having an effect on each other. Our family members, our friends, our classmates, our coworkers, everyone impacts each other in some way. Whether the universe planned that or not, I don’t know, but just be optimistic and realize that in the end, no matter what you did and what you do, everything happens for a reason. I can be an angry person, hold grudges, and want to punch someone in the face. But I also can be a person who takes everything as a joke, can laugh and be kind, and I feel like a lot of people know me as that person. You want to be remembered for the good things, not the bad. At the same time, you should work towards your goals. Goals don’t have to be at society’s standards, like I said, just because I want to have a nice car and a big house doesn’t mean you do. One of my goals is to watch and catch up with Game of Thrones, it’s a simple, attainable goal, but I haven’t even started yet. However, it’s still a goal, and once I finish watching it, I will feel like I achieved something, as if it were an accomplishment. Goals can be big or small, the point is to have purpose in life, make yourself feel good about what you accomplished.

I could honestly keep going, but I am already past 5000 words. And if you have been reading this whole thing, congratulations, you officially don’t have ADHD, and you will probably prosper in life. As for me, I am not going to bother reading what I wrote prior to this, so good luck in life, live long, achieve your dreams and live for the moments. Enjoy your times with your friends and family, and don’t look to the future to make all your decisions, try and live for the present. Sometimes, you only get one chance at things, don’t give up that chance.

Just remember, the universe wants you to succeed, all you have to do is embrace it.