The Art Of Listening

The Art Of Being Lowkey
The Art Of Surprise

Hey people, so a long time ago, probably some time when I was high school...I remember having a conversation with my cousin. It doesn't really matter what we were talking about, I remember we were on a train, and I was standing across from her but I was looking down at my feet and the floor...suddenly she goes "Rodmond, you know when you talk to people, you gotta look them in the eyes, it lets them know you're part of the conversation, that you're engaged, that you're listening." Ever since then, I've really made it a conscious effort to be engaged and to be a good listener, and for the most part, people have told me that I am a good listener. Eye contact (aside from driving and some other situations) is perhaps the most key indicator of listening and being engaged. See you can be hearing the words someone is saying, but that doesn't mean that you're listening to what they're saying. Sometimes as a friend...and I'm sure most of y'all have been on both sides of the spectrum...but I  personally feel a super important quality in a friend is simply being present, being there to listen to someone rant...some might see it as just being a lifeless body or a set of ears...but it's so much more than that...especially when you're on the other end and are the one ranting and pouring your heart out...having someone on the other end as a "set of ears" lets them know not only are they being heard, but that they're being cared for. Listening isn't just hearing what's being said...it's so much more, it's truly an art, because there's so many components. It's body language, posture, eye contact, listening intently and intentionally. The other part of listening is also responding...it can be as simple as nodding your head, chiming in like "oh okay, yeah keep going"...usually even if people are ranting and talking for long periods of time, they'll pause here and there...that's your in to just show you're listening you know and actually hearing what they're saying. The worst is talking to somebody and feeling like they're not hearing what you're saying. I really hate that...to the point where as of late...I'll just stop whatever I'm talking about because I'm wasting my time if I know the person isn't engaged...if the person is just hearing but not listening. People tell me I'm a quiet guy or always ask why I don't talk that much in certain situations...tbh I just like listening and hearing what people have to say....I think it's what I'm good at. I remember talking to this one friend and she was like you know, you're a really good listener, she's like that's why people like to come to you to rant and to talk. And the more I thought about it...a lot of my good friends, a lot of people in my life...love to talk...LOL. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I mean if people love to talk, someone's gotta listen right. I'll leave y'all with this..cuz Jackie Chan says it best...enjoy.

What Grinds My Gears

Hey friends hope you're doing well...so I'm talking to my dad yesterday and he goes hey...if your friend doesn't answer your phone call, they're not a real friend. My dad then proceeds to rant and stuff about how he hates when people don't pick up their phone. So here's some back story...so Saturday, I went to the washroom, didn't take my phone in like I usually do cuz I figured it'd be a quick one, I do that when I think I won't be in there for long cuz if I do take my phone in their I'll be in there for longer than I want to. So I come out from taking a dump and see a missed call and this text from my dad. Context...he's outside raking leaves. I'm like bruh...relax, first of all...try to make out what the text says...don't get it? It says why don't you pick up the phone, if your dad died on the floor and call you no use. Like bruh...extreme much> Like I get the people not picking up their phones part...I've been in situations where I really needed someone to talk to and I tried calling everybody and nobody picked up and I felt like no one was there for me...again, extreme...but different context. So back to present day when my dad is ranting about people not picking up the phone...I'm like dad...wait, you do the same thing. I call you all the time and you hardly pick up the phone on the first call. It isn't until I call multiple times or I give up and he calls me back 5 minutes later. This continues to an argument when he goes NO I DON'T DO THAT....and I'm like bruh...and we go back and forth some more...I'm like okay...stay here...let me open my phone, go to my calls and SHOW YOU specific moments...and of course, the proof is there and he's like no that's not me...like bruh it's right in front of your face. It's just hella annoying when he does these things...when he complains about something and goes and does it you know. Like when he compares how I talk to him vs how I talk to my friends when he knows the difference is exactly the same with him and I and him and his friends...but yeah...just a quick little story/rant on my end...see you in 2 days.

Giving And Taking

Happy December folks...I meant to post yesterday bur I lost track of time. I know I usually give y'all the gift of posts every single day in the month of November, but the more I've been thinking about it, the more I realized that when I did do that, the quality of the posts dropped significantly. I mean like, I'd be stressing and frantically trying to get a post out...like half getting dressed ready to go out, trying to hurry up and type up a reasonably long enough post or in a moving car, struggling with what to write about. So this year, I\m gonna do something different and give y'all posts EVERY OTHER DAY, that way I get some time to think about the next day's post and y'all get some time to digest the current post that's up, it's a win win...kinda lol.

So moving on to today's post...this is again something I had saved up a while back...but I guess recent events have motivated me to come back and finish this idea I had. Especially since we're heading closer and closer to Christmas, the season of giving, what better topic to start of December with. I feel like giving and taking go hand in hand. You give a little, you get (or in this case take) a little. Every friendship, team, group project or social circle deals with the topic...or sometimes problem or giving and taking. In a friendship, sometimes it's so one sided that one person is always giving and the other person is always taking. In a group project, same thing...one person contributes while another person doesn't do anything but takes the credit and the marks. When that happens...when something is constantly being taken and nothing is being given back...what do you think is gonna happen? It's eventually gonna run out...right? Imagine a car...if you're constantly driving it and using the gas up without putting more gas in...eventually, the car's gonna die, it's gonna be empty. In a friendship...if one person is constantly taking from the other friend...whether favours, money, support, encouragement and never giving any back...what do you think is gonna happen, the person being taken from will eventually run dry...no matter how abundant they start with. This topic just really made me think about a lot of things in my life...friendships, groups, teams, whatever it might be...sometimes people keep taking and taking and taking...what else do you expect to happen when you keep taking without giving anything back? Every time you take...I'm not saying you're obligated to...but in a way, you should be giving a little back...whether for the next person to enjoy or simply so it doesn't run out...you know? Probably a bad example...but it's like using the toilet paper all the way to the end and not refilling it. The next person that comes in is gonna sit down, relax, finish up and realize bruh...there's no toilet paper, someone used it all without putting a new roll back on. Does that make sense? Is that weird? LOL...anyways...see you in 2 days...peace.

Guest Writer #32: Mike Bibby

Hey friends, sorry for the wait...but we're back. December's almost in full swing...I know I usually try to do a thing where I post everyday in December, but the more I thought about it, the more it made me realize that when I do do that, the posts get really rushed and lack in quality, so at most I'm gonna try to do every other day, but we'll see how that goes.

#1: SpeakingMyMind 

#2: Letters To You 

#3: TC 

#4: Anonymous Queen B

#5: Someone You Used To Know 

#6: Heartlocked 

#7: LG Slayer 231 

#8: TC

#9: G. Ho 

#10: Golden Frieza 

#11: Ghost Writer 

#12: Pink Precariat

#13: Disconnect 

#14: Daniel 

#15: Golden Frieza

#16: Someone You Used To Know 

#17: Yellow Rose 

#18: SpeakingMyMind

#19: Heartlocked 

#20: My Best Friend

#21: Free Spirit, Wild Heart
#22: Inner Self 

#23: G 

#24: Nuji 

#25: Broccoli 

#26 

#27: Dak 

#28: Carmom

#29: Mike Bibby 

#30: B.C.K. 

#31: WG 

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Hey everyone! It’s M-Bibby back again for another post. So today’s post is a story about my first love. Oh boy LOOOOL.

So I was scrolling down my ig dms, and I found this dm of mine (hundreds of weeks old) when I was in elementary school. So to give you some backdrop, when I was in elementary school, I had this hella big crush on girl. She was cute (still is), and you don’t understand how much I liked this girl LOL. Let’s call her Megan. I always tried to be around her and everything, lowkey was mostly friends with her best friend in order to see her. I liked her from like grade 6-8, and I finally got lucky and she was in my class in grade 8. Yo when I saw her name on the attendance list I was like freaking yelling, I was so excited. So back to the dm, it was like a 4 message dm, basically I didn’t know how to talk to her, and I would ask megan what homework we had in our classes, in order to gage conversation. LOOIL little me had no game. So side note, one of my friends, let’s call him Ben, was a hockey/ baseball player, he moved to my school in grade 7 and basically I introduced him to all his friends now. So fast forward to the end of the year, all my boys were hyping me up to ask this girl out for grad and dance but I pussied out so hard and never did it. So at grad I found out this man snaked me and he was dancing with her. When I saw that, my heart sank so hard bro I wanted to cry, legit felt like I was watching a sad wongfu romance video. Man I always thought what if I went for it? All these what if questions. Rod is right when he always talks about shooting your shot. Man I always have snakes as friends, smh. Screw Baseball and Hockey players. LOL. Hope you guys enjoyed this story. Peace.

Vantage Point

So first things first, if you haven't already...do me a solid favour and fill out this google doc, it'll take less than 30 seconds and you're helping me with this project I'm doing for the blog...thanks!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Ma8gaHfnKekwW1H1Sk2f6JN5SUEw8nfAleFQh1Rzj6E/

We not return to our regularly scheduled program. So a vantage point is defined as a place or position affording a good view of something. So there's also a movie called Vantage Point, it's super dope, you should watch it. Pretty much the president of something gets assassinated and the movie is split into like 5-6 different parts, each part being somebody's perspective...so different witnesses, the president himself, his body guards, that kinda stuff. Which brings me to today's post. When I think about life in that kind of perspective...I'm always so mind blown and in awe. How one thing can happen, but people can view it in so many different ways. Whether you're looking at a picture or listening to someone tell you a story...each person has a different interpretation of what's in front of them...and that's super cool to me...to be able to say tell a story to different people and hear the different, contrasting perspectives...some in which I would have never thought of myself. Same thing goes for sharing your problems or getting advice from people...you can be like yeah so I'm going through this and this...and each person you tell will give you a different perspective and opinion on what they think you should do moving forward. That's also why I like and I encourage people to always search for second, third opinions when it comes to problems and advice...as well to try not to go to the same people over and over again, despite wanting to because of familiarity or cuz they're your best friend. Sometimes I'll go to the most randomest people and they'll offer insight and perspective in ways I would've never thought of. So yeah, that's just my little note on how everyone might see the same thing in front of them...but they all might interpret it super differently...and that's okay. 

From The Heart #2

Hey y'all...so I actually intended on writing about something completely different, but then this hit me...at like 4 am in the morning...and I just started writing...and writing. Maybe it's all the Sam Smith I've been listening to lately...which btw his album is so beautiful LOL. But yeah...I dunno what prompted me to even start reading that conversation...I mean like I've been having trouble sleeping, so I usually just go on my mind and just waste time...so yeah, rereading this now...it's funny...hella corny and emotional... but funny nonetheless...so yeah, here's me at 4 am in the morning, unfiltered..."uninterrupted"...shout out Lebron.

I’m a real bad hoarder, I can’t seem to throw things away. I give meaning and value to the most randomest things. The biggest one would be old texts, messages, cards, no matter who it’s from...old/former friends, exes, you name it. I remember countless times sitting in front of my computer reading old msn conversations. I remember being really sad when I lost my old phone because it had all the conversations with my ex. I can’t delete text conversations with certain people because I think to myself well what if I wanna go through it one day. And so here I am...4 am in the morning, rereading an old conversation with this girl I was dealing with, getting way too unnecessarily emotional. The first being joy and anxiousness, the good anxiousness, the butterflies of the first dates, the chase, the feeling out process. Then of course the nervousness of taking steps to further the relationship...entire days planned out, holding her hand, the literal game plan of how to go in for the first kiss LOOOOL. But as I keep reading the text messages, I start skimming more and more, as well skipping more and more as the final few emotions and the deja vu sinks in...confusion, sadness, regret...wondering what happened, what changed, what went wrong. Was it me, things were going so well...the up and down rush of emotions hit me like a whirlwind, but as it comes down...an emptiness kinda overtakes it all, as I stop scrolling and close the conversation, realizing and remember that it’s over. I honestly don’t know why I decided to write about this, I don’t even know if I’m gonna post this. I just started reading the conversation and felt compelled to write about it. I write this right now, feeling a lot of mixed emotions tbh, but this is as real and as raw as it gets I guess, no filter, just whatever words come to mind. Honestly I’ll probably read this tomorrow morning and be like dude what the heck is wrong with you...but that’s what makes this blog real I guess. Who knows how I’m feeling tomorrow when I read this and if I decide to post it, if I do, enjoy...you’ll probably get a good laugh out of it lol. \

To you, if this manages to reach you in some sort of capacity, I look forward to seeing if our paths cross once again in the future."

Shoot Your Shot

As a basketball player, I've always learned to shoot my shot. What does this mean...well it's this belief that I and I'm pretty sure most other shooters have that every shot they shoot is going in. Now as a shooter...you're gonna miss, but you keep shooting your shot. Ray Allen, one of the greatest shooters in NBA history said that despite missing a shot and even going 0-10 for example...he'd always believe that the next shot he shot was going to go in. Now any basketball player will tell you that for the most part...just cuz you miss, doesn't mean you stop shooting...yeah it might mean you need to take better shots, but you don't stop shooting. You don't get discouraged because everyone misses and eventually...the shot will go in, you just gotta keep shooting. If you stop at the first miss...then you prevent yourself from scoring. Let's bring that into the context of life. Simply put, if you don't shoot your shot, if you don't take a chance...you'll always wonder what if I had...and that's probably the worst feeling ever. Worse than missing a shot, worse than missing multiple shots...is not taking that shot and wondering if it would have gone in or not. Whether you're asking a girl out, applying for a job...or whatever it might be...rejection is a big part of life, it shouldn't stop you from constantly trying until you finally get it, y'feel? I can tell you stories on stories of me asking girls out that ether rejected me or it didn't work out. Similarly, I've been applying for so many jobs as of late and the majority of them haven't been replying to me...but that doesn't stop me from shooting my shot...better to apply and not hear back than to sit and not apply and wonder what would have happened if I did. Simply put, when you shoot your shot...it either goes in or it doesn't...you pick up the ball, you shoot your shot again. When you don't shoot...you'll never what would have happened if you did shoot your shot, you're preventing yourself from even trying. Don't let the fear of failure stop you from trying, embrace it, it's a healthy part of life...and it'll make it all the more worthwhile when you finally sink that shot and look back and all the shots you missed to get to this point...peace out, see you soon.