You Can't Please Everybody, Can You?

I've told y'all that I'm kind of an on the fence kinda guy...I don't like taking sides, I like to see and understand both points of view. But if I really had to pick one...I'd be a glass half full kinda guy, cuz I like to be positive and embrace my blessings instead of dwelling on my failures and such. So here's my dilemma...the following are 2 statements...or 2 sides that I both agree with. On one hand...there's the age old saying that you can't please everybody. On the other hand is a quote from Kanye West that says "people always say that you can't please everybody. I think that's a cop-out. Why not attempt it? Cuz think of all the people you will please if you try." I agree with both of these statements...on one hand...I've learned many many times at a young age and even now...that you can't please everybody, no matter what you do. On the other hand...Kanye's quote is a pretty quote mindset to have...in the sense that like...think of how much good you'll do if you have a positive mindset rather than a negative one. So I guess I moreso agree with the first statement....but I agree with where Kanye is coming from in his quote...yeah he says what he says...but I interpret it as like a....why not try...think of how much good you'll do along the way or how much you'll learn. Back to the original statement tho...you really can't please everybody...no matter how popular you are, how cool you are, how much money you have, how nice or polite or good of a person you are..there's always gonna be someone who doesn't like you, finds some little thing to dislike about you or whatever. That's something I've learned as a kid and it's only been reinforced even more as I write these words right now. That there's always gonna be people that dislike me regardless of what I say, how I act, what I look like, who I am. Which is where my glass half full mentality kinda comes in...cuz I put time and effort into the people that matter and that care about me instead of trying to convert the people that don't lol.

Guest Writer #12: Pink Precariat

Guest Writer #1: SpeakingMyMind
Guest Writer #2: Letters To You
Guest Writer #3: TC
Guest Writer #4: Anonymous Queen B
Guest Writer #5: Someone You Used To Know
Guest Writer #6: Heartlocked
Guest Writer #7: LG Slayer 231
Guest Writer #8: TC
Guest Writer #9: G. Ho
Guest Writer #10: Golden Frieza
Guest Writer #11: Ghost Writer

As always, thank you to my guest writers. I appreciate y'all doing me this favour and being honest and pouring your heart out into your posts. If you're interested in being a guest writer, feel free to hit me up if you're interested...the likelihood of me saying no is very slim lol. Without further ado, here y'all go....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have another woe that I’ll be running through the six with. Just kidding, I don’t even live in the 6…I live very far north away from the six…So I’m still the north.

However, I digress. I’d like to open this blog post, I’ve been so kindly invited to write with a short statement: dating is difficult.

I hesitated writing yet another dating blog post because I don’t want to come off as shallow, but really…my issues run deeper than writing guys off for being jerks.

I’ve been dating a while. My first “relationship” was in grade six and it was with the new boy and I liked him and he liked me and we would message each other on MSN. It was totes romantic.

Now I’m in university and the dating game is a little more advanced then adding someone on MSN first or even texting someone every day.

I don’t know how I feel when I talk to a new person and I find out that the very friendly person has a girlfriend. Like, I’m not seriously bothered that the guy has not told me he’s taken because my intention when I meet someone new is not to date him.

Is that a weird concept? Like it seems simple and understandable, but I don’t think that’s how it is. I feel like the misconception here is that when two compatible people talk, it is inevitable someone is going to try something.

But we have strange ways of trying to make it clear without being deliberate about it. Even though, I don’t know why we’d have to be deliberate about it. Here, story: I started talking to a guy from work and my friend told me he had a girlfriend. I shrugged because I’m dating someone too. But a couple of encounters with this guy he started dropping “my girlfriend” in a lot of our conversations.

Now, another story: I played around on tinder for a while and it was always amusing to find your friends. I found someone I met at a Christmas dinner and we started talking. I guess it could be considered flirting? (I used a lot of :P and he used a lot of ;)). Then, out of the blue, he stopped talking to me. I thought nothing of it since we weren’t committed to anything. (I did find out it was because another girl gave him a chance, but that’s beside the point). Fast forward to last week and I saw him again and he texted me the next day. Now, it was back to the “:P” and “;)” but I’m dating someone now. I kind of guessed his intentions and tried to stay neutral. He asked me out. I felt obligated to tell him, and so I did. His response: “oh well, I tried.”

NOW HERE’S MY ISSUE: I’m tired of being a trophy. I’m tired of it being that the only reason a guy talks to me is to try to win me or date me or get somewhere with me. And no, I shouldn’t be “grateful” that someone finds me attractive enough to pursue.

It gets tiring always finding reasons why I did something wrong. Was it my mistake that I responded to his text message? Was the first thing I was supposed to tell a person I just met, just because he’s a boy, that I’m dating someone? Is that all really my responsibility?

Like, after he said, “oh well” our entire conversation just ended. He had no other purpose to talk to me. And I feel outright disrespected. I am more than a dating potential. I am more than another “cutie” you can tell your friends you’re talking to and are “this close” to getting to be your bae. But why is it that when I was overthinking it before I went to bed. I felt awful. I felt like I did something wrong and he automatically hated me.

That is my issue. I should not feel worth less just because I am unable to date someone. I have the right to say no. I have the right to make friends. I have the right to be a person. I am more than the “:P” girl. I have opinions. I have issues. And I want to talk to you about things other than pretending to be impressed that you can lift 1000 pounds.

There’s nothing wrong with me. There’s something wrong with your intent when you talk to girls. You have to see past dating, and see that there are ultimately more ways than sliding through someone’s inbox with a “;)” and a vague compliment that you can tell anyone.

So, remember that people are people first – not dating potentials.

Trial By Fire

So if you don't know, I mentioned I was volunteering once a week at an elementary school with my old teacher. So today was my second time going and it was super fun....you know how people say sometimes, the only way you can really learn something is by doing it...to be thrown into the fire and survive with no training or whatever. That's kinda what happened to me today...my teacher told me last week he would eventually let me lead some lessons and teach the class a bit, but we would sit down and prep some stuff for me to teach. Today...he was just like yeah...I know I didn't give you a heads up, but you're gonna be leading some discussions today LOL. It was kinda nerve-racking, but cool...like I wasn't freaking out, but it was like an oh okay, true...kinda feeling. I'm kinda used to being in front of crowds and kids...so I've grown to  be pretty comfortable. First period was gym...he let me pretty much lead the whole class cuz I've done coaching and such with him before...so that was real fun, to get warmed up for the rest of the day. After that we had geography, where they just copied down some notes...then math class...he ave me some worksheets they were going to be doing and pretty much I went through it with them for a good 15-20 minutes and made sure I was available if they needed any questions. BUT FIRST...last week I told y'all he mentioned that I rapped dto the whole class LOL....today, he reminded them...and long story short...after a whole lot of back and forth...I ended up rapping in front of them LOL...legit I don't know what made me do it or how I mustered up the courage to do so...but I just did it lol, I'm glad I didn't forget my lyrics. So that was a cool experience lol. What else happened throughout the day...well he took me to the teacher's lounge and they have something called 'fat fridays' where teachers just bring it dishes like a potluck...moreso desserts and cakes and cookies and snacks and such and leave it in the teachers lounge for you to go whenever you want and grab snacks. So it was super awkward walking in at first cuz I felt so out of place LOL....all the teachers were there chilling at the tables and it was legit 90% female teachers and I mentioned it was a new school, so the majority of them were super young. One thing I'm gonna mention...not to boast, but cuz it meant a lot to me...was when the kids were working...my teacher, who I've known for over 10 years and we're really good friends...he was like wow man....your rap was really good. He said...anyone can rap....but your lyrics were meaningful...and that's real cool, to see how much you've grown from that kid in grade 7. That meant so much to me...and we just talked a bit more about my lyrics and such and how and why him and I bonded so well. Last class of the day was english...and it was a hella memorable way to end the day...the kids were working on some assignment and one by one came out to do this reading test where they would read a couple paragraphs and my teacher would assess their reading levels and stuff. He did some, then showed me and I got to do some while he was there to help me out in case I messed up. Last student of the day, he mentions she may have trouble reading cuz english isn't her first language and she's only been in Canada for a month. This girl reads FLAWLESSLY...like it was a bit slow cuz she had to digest the words and stuff...she had a tiny bit of trouble pronouncing the tougher words, but she blew us away because from what my teacher told me, we weren't expecting that. My teacher goes off and goes wow...that was amazing, for someone who's still learning english, that was amazing. I'm glad you're in my class cuz you're a really good person and I hope you continue to grow and to learn and to read and such. This girl has tears of joy in her eyes and she's like smiling so hard and my teacher starts tearing up too and I won't lie I got mad emotional seeing how genuinely happy she was. After she left...my teacher looks at me and goes...as much as I and the other teachers joke to you about how you shouldn't become a teacher...if you live and love moments like that...if that kinda stuff brings you joy,go and become a teacher...don't do it for the summers off, the money, whatever...that kinda stuff is what makes this job worth it. My teacher and I had a good moment to reminisce and I told him that my relationship with him was one of the biggest reasons why I wanted to become a teacher...to hopefully develop that kind of relationships with my students...to the point where 10 years later they'lll still come visit me, come to my house for dinner, meet my kids...all that stuff. Man...sometimes a bit of doubt creeps into my head of whether or not I really do wanna be a teacher...but today definitely solidified it pretty hard that this is what I wanna do in the future.

Your Circle Of Friends Part 2

Part 1 http://thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.ca/2014/02/your-circle-of-friends.html

There are 7.3 BILLION people on this earth...yet a part of me wonders if I'll ever find that ONE right person for me you know. There are that many people on this earth...but some people don't have a real circle of friends they can chill with, be around, confide in and call their brothers and sisters. There are THAT many people in this world...you're not alone, whatever you're struggling with, no matter how painful or extreme is might be, you're not alone. That itself gives me so much comfort...to know I'm not the only one worrying about finding someone to spend the rest of my life with...I'm not the only one worrying about if I'll find a steady job...I'm not the only one worrying about the future and if everything will be okay. With that many people in this world...sometimes I'm just in awe and I'm really appreciative of the people around me. People able to just sit around and have conversations about nothing, about past experiences, about memorable moments. Lemme tell you...don't take your friends for granted...sometimes people get so caught up in wanting to expand their networks, meet new people, have multiple circle of friends...when they should be focusing on strengthening that one circle, that one brotherhood or sisterhood you call family. I'm the kinda guy who would rather have 5 close friends I can count on my hand...but I know everything about them inside out...then have 500 people simply know who I am or know what my name is. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for meeting new people and such...but never ever take for granted your circle of friends...and never ever forget who was, is and will continue to be there for you through tough times. I've never ever forgotten those people...and they'll always have and continue to have a special place in my heart. Seriously, go let your friends know how much you appreciate them. For every time they helped you out,comforted you, did you a favour...or were simply there for you when you needed them. Everyone has had tough time in their lives...and I'm sure at certain moments in your life, you went to certain people or certain people were there for you...I hold onto those moments and those people dearly...cuz it lets me know that they're there for me. Recognize who your real friends are...someone you see everyday, have casual conversations with, but don't really know anything personal about...I'm gonna bank that isn't the type of person who'll help you out in a time of crisis and that isn't the type of person you'd call for help. Versus someone you may not see very often...but you've known them for a while...you've perhaps drifted apart due to growth, but they've always been there when you needed them...and you know they'll continue to be there for you...despite how far you've grown...you still have that special connection. One last thing I just wanted to say is that friends argue...friends fight...they get into arguments, sometimes even physical fights...that's okay, that's how friendships grow. How you guys react and bounce back if you do says al lot about how good friends you were in the first place. Know who your friends, appreciate them, let them know how important they are to you. It's always nice to be appreciated, trust me.

Honestly, The Honesty Is Why The Game Love Us Part 2

Part 1 http://thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.ca/2015/01/honestly-honesty-is-why-game-love-us.html

Yesterday's post has been blowing up like crazy...and I'm very thankful for the positive response I've been getting. It's a good reminder for myself that sometimes,l you just gotta be honest, be yourself and speak from the heart. Sometimes, I don't post cuz I feel like I have no funny story to tell, no interesting thing to say you know...I'm like, no one wants to hear about my day or what's going on in my life or how 'I'm feeling. Yesterday was proof to me to just keep it real...people like that. I'll tell ya...sometimes, being honest is scary.In my mind, it's always like, what will people think of me...from random people who read my blog, to people I know, to even my friends. Sometimes it's hard putting personal thoughts out there...will I regret it, how will people respond, am I gonna offend people? One of my goals this year for this blog is to really focus on promoting it and trying to get it out there to the public... but as of late,I've been thinking...it still is one of my goals...but if this blog blows up, I always want to keep that sense of purpose and being real and being honest. I hope that wherever this blog takes me in life...I'll always remain true to myself and what I believe in.It's been a wild journey thus far and I can't wait to see what's in store for me next.

My Second Tattoo

For those who are interested...here's kinda what led to me deciding on getting another tattoo. Getting another tattoo was always an idea that was brewing in my mind, but never really became something that I thought would actually happen until the end of summer ish. There's no significant reason or event that prompted this, but I will say it is just a bunch of things in my life building up to a certain point you know. One being how slow summer was...and it wasn't really until I went to Cuba and also went to the cottage that I got to really reflect on the summer. I was really asking God why I was feeling what I was feeling. Summer felt really slow in a sense I didn't have much to do, but fast in a sense that the days went by hella quick. It wasn't until I was really by myself with my own thoughts, no phone or anything, separated from the world that I was able to just sit, be still and LISTEN to God.  And it was nice...this summer...was a real desert period for me...in a dessert, there isn't much going on but sand...and during the summer, I didn't have much going on, but sand. The tattoo that I got was the chinese symbol for faith. I know it's very generic, but for me...it was a reminder...to trust God and have faith in every circumstance...in times of trial, in times of triumph...and even in times of silence and desert, to be still and to listen to God. Aside from that, it was just a reminder to put everything I've been holding onto and worrying about into God's hands...school, graduation, teacher's college, the future, my brother, girls, relationships, friends, everything. Faith that my brother will one day know God, faith that I'll find a beautiful woman to marry one day, faith that all this studying and schooling will pay off, faith that the people I've invested time, effort and love into will come through for me, faith in the genuine goodness of people, faith that as hard as this life gets...that everything will be okay. One thing I went back and forth with was the placement of my tattoo...and of course whether to get it or not. All I'll say is...what started out as an impulse decision became something that I felt I had to do for myself. Now onto the placement of the tattoo...I had a friend who has a tattoo on his forearm as well and he just wanted me to make sure that I was sure I wanted it in such a visible place. His thing was people will judge you no matter what, no matter what it says or what it means or what it represents...some people will see a tattoo and associate it negatively, He then brought up the fact that I want to be a teacher...he wants to be a teacher too and I remember we've had conversations about how he wanted to possibly get it removed. That conversation made me really thing...about my future...and how people may perceive me. But the more I thought about it, the more sure I became about wanting to get the tattoo and wanting to put it in my forearm. After discussing it with many people, praying about it and even researching about it on forums...I knew it was something I wanted to do and I was positive I wanted to have it done on my forearm. If you're managed to make it this far...then this is the part where I'm going to be very transparent with you guys...and talk about something that isn't really easy to talk about and something I've been pretty self conscious about all my life. This is kinda where I go into my zone where I imagine I'm writing to myself because it helps me write freely with no boundaries. I have eczema...which is a skin disease, but I hate the word disease cuz it just sounds terrible...skin condition let's just call it. I don't look like you, I look different. Ever since I was a kid...I've been treated differently, looked at differently, picked on, excluded. I've been on both sides on the spectrum, been the bully, been bullied. I've come to terms with it that I'm different...and I always will be different...but the difference between the old me and present me...is I'm okay with being different. I'm okay with parents, kids, peers, people in general...looking at me differently, whispering behind my back, talking about me, that's cool, that's me. I'll never be the pretty boy who gets all the girls...and that's perfectly fine with me. Any ways, before I tangent too far....back to the tattoo and my friend telling me that people would look at me differently and would I be ready for that because he said I didn't seem like the kinda guy who wont that stereotype put onto me. The more I thought about what he said and the tattoo...but more sure I was that I DID want that stereotype to be put on me...I want people to look at me and see that I'm different, because I am different. Whether they wanna look at my tattoo and assume I'm a bad kid...or look at my skin and think whatever of me...that's cool...I want that burden on me...I embrace it whole heartedly because that's who I am, I can't change that. But for the people who are willing to look past my tattoo, my skin, everything...those are the people I wanna put effort into...those are the people I wanna surround myself with...those are the people I wanna have in my life. To be honest I don't really know where I'm going any more with this...all I know is I've said what I've said and a tiny part of me is hesitant to post this, but a bigger part of me knows it's gotta be done. To end on an interesting note...the gears are already turning for my next tattoo LOOOOL...definitely not any time soon, but a couple of ideas have already popped into my head haha.

My First Day At Elementary School

An early post...well earlier than I usually post LOL...that's because if you're lucky, there may be a very special post tonight, but knowing me and how lazy I am, probably not lol...all I'm gonna say is it depends how time works out. Any ways...so if you don't know, I wanna be a teacher and I'm very close friends with my old elementary school teacher, he's at a new school right now so I asked if I could volunteer and be his assistant like once a week cuz I'm still in school. So today was my first day and it was so nostalgic, tiring, sleepy, fun, entertaining and educating as well. Got up at like 6:40...I don't even get up this early for school LOL. They start school at 8 and end at 2:25....brah. So I just the whole day with him...and the classes he taught...the schedule went phys ed, geo, recess, math, math, lunch, english, english. It was real fun...I got to meet his homeroom and some other classes. I got to introduce myself and we had a pretty good talk about just who I was, my relationship with my teacher and how we got to where we are lol...fyi I've known him for 12 years...yep, that's how long it's been since I've been in grade 7. It was cool cuz I'm used to being in  Markham and my elementary school was like 89% asian kids...this school was like 5% asian kids. Majority was persian and russian kids which was super cool to see. It's a fairly new school, so most to all of the teachers are really young, which was really cool as well. There was this one British kid in the class and it was funny cuz in english they were reading this British play, so every time, my teacher would stop at a word and be like hey what's the British word for sweater or a girl who sleeps with a lot of men LOL. I was real nervous at first in gym class but my teacher told me to relax and just get in there so throughout the day I warmed up, became more comfortable and the kids welcomed me with open arms. It's gonna take some time getting used to being called Mr. Tham tho LOL. Can't wait to volunteer next week, but yo it;s tiring lol, getting up so early...I won't lie, there were some points when they were reading and I was at the back almost dozing off lol.