Thursday, March 29, 2018
Resilience
Today's word of the day is resilience. I'm thankful for resilience, I'm also thankful for the struggle. I met up with my old teacher and a couple of my elementary school buddies and we went for dinner and had a great night of laughs, jokes, advice and overall memorable moments. One thing that we kept talking about is resilience. The idea of responding and persevering through your struggle/difficult time. I actually met up with my teacher and his significant other, who also happens to be a teacher. So she was like a lot of the kids in her class, and I'll go on to say a lot of the high school kids and under today lack resilience. What does that mean you ask? Well for one, I don't wanna make it seem like I'm taking shots. But she went on to say how her class lacks resilience, they're entitled, too used to getting their way that when they face struggle or difficulty they freeze because they don''t know what to do. I actually agree with that almost whole-heartedly. I look at the kids I've taught in schools, in church and stuff...they're so used to getting what they want that they're not equipped to handle when something doesn't go their way. Failure, setbacks, obstacles, difficult times, struggles...it shapes you, it changes you, it teaches you. I know I sound very cliche, I'm not trying to I swear lol. My brother and I always joke about what life would be like if we were rich, how easy life would be. No stress, no worries...we'd be able to get whatever we wanted. We then think about the kinda people we'd be. Probably snobby, uptight and very selfish for the most part. As much as you or I may hate the struggle, because it sucks, it's hard...it's also necessary. I mean, if only good things happened to me in my life, I wouldn't appreciate it as much as when I go through struggles, fail, then finally overcome it. Imagine if my life were like getting good grades, going to a good university, finding a good job, marrying a beautiful girl, having kids, retiring, that's it. Yeah that sounds dope and all, but I don't think I'd appreciate it as much as if I were to fail some courses, question whether I'd even graduate before finally graduating. I'm not really too sure where I'm going with this tbh. Like all my posts, it's a reminder to myself...and hopefully a reminder or encouragement to you...to embrace your struggle. That failure and rejection is a normal and healthy part of life. I think we all constantly need that reminder, cuz when we're stuck in that failure, that storm in our life...we can't help but think why, if only it were easier. But yeah, it's your struggles that build character, that teach you way more than your triumphs ever could, it also makes it all the more sweeter when you do overcome that obstacle. So keep your head up, stay strong, persevere and keep your eyes on the finish line, peace out.
Thursday, March 22, 2018
TEENS CONFERENCE 2018
TEENS CONFERENCE 2017
Greetings friends, hope you're doing well. So I'm gonna do my best to not make this too long of a post lol. I'm becoming more and more aware of my tendencies to ramble both on this blog and in real life. To sum it up, Teens Conference is a 4 day Christian conference for teens (grades 7-12), it's put together by a bunch of churches across the GTA and many university and up kids volunteer to help out and such. There's worship, messages, games, skits...a lot of team bonding and such. Anyways, I'm gonna skip the long intro cuz I'm assuming most of y'all know what Teens Conference (TC) is, or you can always google it. So this year was my second year as an attendee and also again as a coach. I'll tell you I debated not doing it at all at first. I was like I already went once, got the experience, it was cool but I'm good now. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone and I felt God was really pushing me to do so as well. Once I made the decision to coach, I was like alright, do I wanna just do one conference cuz you know, two days is already enough, they're long days, it's tiring, maybe I'll just do one conference. Then I thought about it again and I was like damn Rodmond, that's selfish, you're not really putting much into it, your captains aren't really gonna get much out of you...it's kinda you just doing your good deed just to say you did it. I had a heart to heart with myself and was like alright, if you're gonna do it, you're all in, if not then don't do it at all. So I decided to coach both conferences, all 4 days. This year was different because I applied early, unlike last year when I joined my team super late. So I got to get to know my team right from the get go, we had a bunch of meetings, get togethers and days to just plan things. Before I even met my captains, I met my co-coach, and he was probably one of the coolest dudes I've met in a while. You ever just meet somebody and all click right away and you're like alright, this is gonna be the start of something dope...that's exactly what it was, it was a perfect balance of joking around and also getting down to work, and I'm super thankful for him and for that. Once we met our captains, it was jokes cuz we had three captains, my co-coach already knew one of them and I kinda knew the other two, so our dynamics were pretty solid from the beginning. My captains were...interesting when I first met them. One seemed super quiet, hesitant to break out of her shell but I could tell she had it in her if she wanted to. The second was just a big ball of energy and you could tell he had a huge heart for people, he really cared. The third one was odd I won't lie, but he was real and I think people saw that and connected with him through that. Lemme tell you there was a lot of procrastination lol, I think all of us at some point or another questioned whether we\d be able to get everything done in time..but we were having fun along the way...well at least I was.
The conference itself was...exhausting, in all aspects...but in a good way. For one, I got to see so many of the people that were on my team last year, seeing how much they've grown and changed. One of my biggest highlights was seeing the kid I counselled last year, the one who literally broke down and hugged me. Words can't express how happy I was to see him again, how much he'd grown, how deep his voice was LOL. The skits were dope as usual, I really enjoyed how they were all connected, each with it's own individual story but also all coming together to form a larger one. Shoutout to my boy D for killing it, through mistakes and all, real is real my friend. The overall theme, the sermon, the worship...really hit me. This idea of the storms in your life, the struggles in your life. Having faith that even if God doesn't calm the storm, that He's right there with you walking through it. There's so much I could elaborate on with just that, but I'll save that for a later post. What else, the two teams were really cool. The jrs were full of energy, and I mean FULL of energy...like they would not stop talking and moving around and fidgeting lol, it kinda felt like babysitting almost at times. But it was a good reminder to not look at them from my own point of view with expectations of how someone my age would be, but to look at them from their own perspective and try to notice the little things. With the srs, I definitely felt more comfortable, you could sit down and have conversation and ask them how they're doing and such. I met and was able to talk to some really interesting people, I'm happy about that. I guess I'll make one last point about the whole conference. I did a lot of thinking throughout the four days. The amount of time you put into your teams, the other coaches, I think for me at least...what really stuck out and became super important to me was how much you put into your leadership team...meaning your coaches and your captains. I say this because you literally spend like a solid 2-4 months I would say with them, prepping, planning, getting to know them and their struggles. As much as you pour out into the conference itself, you only see the groups of kids for 2 days apiece, you see the other coaches from other teams sporadically, but you're with your own team every single moment of the day during the actual conference, and leading up you spend so much time prepping and planning and just being in each other's companies.
I tried, but I just kept writing and I know it's super long, but finally...
Thank you J, for being super cool. For making it easier for me to come out of my shell cuz you're just as foolish as I am, but you also have a maturity in you that goes beyond your age. Thank you for being someone I could lean and depend on these past few months.
Thank you J, for being bold and taking risks. Thanks for dealing with us weirdos but thank you for becoming one yourself lol. Thanks for also trusting and confiding in me despite not really knowing who I am and if I'm crazy or not.
Thank you N, for taking charge, sometimes it felt like you were the coach LOL. I really admire how much you care about people, that's not a common trait nowadays and I hope you carry that with you throughout your life. I also hope you don't stop being super positive and happy cuz it really rubs off on people.
Thank you J, for being super open about your life from the get go, it's never easy being open and honest, you seem to have a good grasp of that. As quirky as you are, I hope you never change cuz it's that boldness and self-confidence in who you are that draws people to you.
Thanks to my team for making my job hella easy, for making it feel like I was just chilling with my friends rather than having to be all responsible and parental like lol, wish y'all all the best and see y'all soon.
Greetings friends, hope you're doing well. So I'm gonna do my best to not make this too long of a post lol. I'm becoming more and more aware of my tendencies to ramble both on this blog and in real life. To sum it up, Teens Conference is a 4 day Christian conference for teens (grades 7-12), it's put together by a bunch of churches across the GTA and many university and up kids volunteer to help out and such. There's worship, messages, games, skits...a lot of team bonding and such. Anyways, I'm gonna skip the long intro cuz I'm assuming most of y'all know what Teens Conference (TC) is, or you can always google it. So this year was my second year as an attendee and also again as a coach. I'll tell you I debated not doing it at all at first. I was like I already went once, got the experience, it was cool but I'm good now. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone and I felt God was really pushing me to do so as well. Once I made the decision to coach, I was like alright, do I wanna just do one conference cuz you know, two days is already enough, they're long days, it's tiring, maybe I'll just do one conference. Then I thought about it again and I was like damn Rodmond, that's selfish, you're not really putting much into it, your captains aren't really gonna get much out of you...it's kinda you just doing your good deed just to say you did it. I had a heart to heart with myself and was like alright, if you're gonna do it, you're all in, if not then don't do it at all. So I decided to coach both conferences, all 4 days. This year was different because I applied early, unlike last year when I joined my team super late. So I got to get to know my team right from the get go, we had a bunch of meetings, get togethers and days to just plan things. Before I even met my captains, I met my co-coach, and he was probably one of the coolest dudes I've met in a while. You ever just meet somebody and all click right away and you're like alright, this is gonna be the start of something dope...that's exactly what it was, it was a perfect balance of joking around and also getting down to work, and I'm super thankful for him and for that. Once we met our captains, it was jokes cuz we had three captains, my co-coach already knew one of them and I kinda knew the other two, so our dynamics were pretty solid from the beginning. My captains were...interesting when I first met them. One seemed super quiet, hesitant to break out of her shell but I could tell she had it in her if she wanted to. The second was just a big ball of energy and you could tell he had a huge heart for people, he really cared. The third one was odd I won't lie, but he was real and I think people saw that and connected with him through that. Lemme tell you there was a lot of procrastination lol, I think all of us at some point or another questioned whether we\d be able to get everything done in time..but we were having fun along the way...well at least I was.
The conference itself was...exhausting, in all aspects...but in a good way. For one, I got to see so many of the people that were on my team last year, seeing how much they've grown and changed. One of my biggest highlights was seeing the kid I counselled last year, the one who literally broke down and hugged me. Words can't express how happy I was to see him again, how much he'd grown, how deep his voice was LOL. The skits were dope as usual, I really enjoyed how they were all connected, each with it's own individual story but also all coming together to form a larger one. Shoutout to my boy D for killing it, through mistakes and all, real is real my friend. The overall theme, the sermon, the worship...really hit me. This idea of the storms in your life, the struggles in your life. Having faith that even if God doesn't calm the storm, that He's right there with you walking through it. There's so much I could elaborate on with just that, but I'll save that for a later post. What else, the two teams were really cool. The jrs were full of energy, and I mean FULL of energy...like they would not stop talking and moving around and fidgeting lol, it kinda felt like babysitting almost at times. But it was a good reminder to not look at them from my own point of view with expectations of how someone my age would be, but to look at them from their own perspective and try to notice the little things. With the srs, I definitely felt more comfortable, you could sit down and have conversation and ask them how they're doing and such. I met and was able to talk to some really interesting people, I'm happy about that. I guess I'll make one last point about the whole conference. I did a lot of thinking throughout the four days. The amount of time you put into your teams, the other coaches, I think for me at least...what really stuck out and became super important to me was how much you put into your leadership team...meaning your coaches and your captains. I say this because you literally spend like a solid 2-4 months I would say with them, prepping, planning, getting to know them and their struggles. As much as you pour out into the conference itself, you only see the groups of kids for 2 days apiece, you see the other coaches from other teams sporadically, but you're with your own team every single moment of the day during the actual conference, and leading up you spend so much time prepping and planning and just being in each other's companies.
I tried, but I just kept writing and I know it's super long, but finally...
Thank you J, for being super cool. For making it easier for me to come out of my shell cuz you're just as foolish as I am, but you also have a maturity in you that goes beyond your age. Thank you for being someone I could lean and depend on these past few months.
Thank you J, for being bold and taking risks. Thanks for dealing with us weirdos but thank you for becoming one yourself lol. Thanks for also trusting and confiding in me despite not really knowing who I am and if I'm crazy or not.
Thank you N, for taking charge, sometimes it felt like you were the coach LOL. I really admire how much you care about people, that's not a common trait nowadays and I hope you carry that with you throughout your life. I also hope you don't stop being super positive and happy cuz it really rubs off on people.
Thank you J, for being super open about your life from the get go, it's never easy being open and honest, you seem to have a good grasp of that. As quirky as you are, I hope you never change cuz it's that boldness and self-confidence in who you are that draws people to you.
Thanks to my team for making my job hella easy, for making it feel like I was just chilling with my friends rather than having to be all responsible and parental like lol, wish y'all all the best and see y'all soon.
Sunday, March 18, 2018
Let's Talk
Hello friends, it's been way too long since we last spoke, I apologize. But uh, yeah I just wanted to talk to you guys catch y'all up with what's been going on in life and such. One thing that's been on my mind with regards to this blog at least is that it's very easy to get caught up in like how many views I'm getting or how many people are reading my blog and such. Sometimes I think to myself like oh damn, that wasn't a good post because it didn't get as many views as I'd have liked or expected it to. And that really messes with you and how you approach say the next post for example. It kinda brings me to my next thing which is like the whole 'comments' on my blog. It's pretty rare I get comments on the blog, most people just tell me things in person or privately. I think when it comes to this kinda stuff or even any of those online anonymous question things that you post and allow people to ask you questions or comment. That stuff is hella toxic for a person's self esteem and overall mental health, I swear. Like I did that stuff as a kid and you like crave that attention and satisfaction of people telling you oh wow you're so dope or wow you're so cool, but in reality it's just an anonymous outlet for people to talk ish about you...cuz I've seen a lot of the comments and stuff that people write on other people's forms and it's hella waste and unproductive imo. It makes me think of like youtube comment sections, how as a youtuber for example...reading that kinda stuff everyday can be hella depressing as much as it'd be uplifting. Half the people would be telling you how dope you are while the other half would be telling you to go die or something of the sort. That's why I never try to get wrapped up around that kinda stuff, cuz it can really damage you y'feel? It's also why I've grown really thick skin, because at the end of the day...it's all perspective and opinion and has and should have no genuine influence on my life. But yeah, that was just me little tangent. What's been going on lately? Well last week I attended and helped out at a 4 day Christian conference for high school kids, I'll have a post for that hopefully sometime this coming week. I'm really excited to share with y'all what God's been teaching me as of late, which will also be in a separate post. I've been praying for like signs from God, some sort of message y'feel and I feel like he's been shoving this one particular one in my face and making sure I get it...and I'm really excited to share it with y'all. Other than that, it's back to the grind of job hunting lol. It's crazy to think that we're literally almost 1/4 into 2018, also crazy to think I'll be turning 26 in a few months...considering I used to think like 18 was when you're like a man and 25 is like considered hella old...geez, how time has just flown by. But life is all about stages right...and every stage has smaller stages...I've been saying that like I feel I'm in a transitional stage of life. The transition to becoming a man, trying to be more independent, more responsible and more serious in general about life and the things that come with it. So yeah, I'm excited to bring y'all on that journey with me as we do life together, see you soon, peace.
Tuesday, March 06, 2018
Dear Nice Guy Part 4
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Dear Nice Guy,
It's been a while since we last spoke, I hope you're doing well. I was talking to my mentor a couple of weeks ago and every time he sees me he loves to ask me how my girl situation is going lol. I told him it was alright, been on a couple of dates here and there, was seeing a girl for a couple of months that didn't end up working out. He was like "Rodmond, for you and for most if not all nice guys, it sometimes takes a bit longer to figure it all out." He went on to say things like it'll be worth the wait and such, you just gotta be patient and wait for the right one rather than settling for the wrong one. But back to you nice guy, this serves as an encouragement to you as well as a reminder to myself. Stay the course, every storm passes...in time. I know the feeling, I really do. You've always envied the jerk, the a-hole who seemingly always gets the girl, who girls seem literally drawn to. You wanted to be him because it seemed like he was the man. Be patient, nothing in life that's worth having comes easy. I know sometimes you think to yourself if 'that time' and 'that girl' will ever come. I'm hopeful for myself and for you that it will, in due time. I know you've always wondered what it would be like to be 'that guy' that seemingly every girl wants. That doesn't need to chase because girls simply flock at him. The guy that can simply do no wrong, I promise you that that life is not as glamorous and attractive as it may seem. And I stand by what I'm said countless of times, I truly believe in my heart of hearts that deep down, every girl wants a nice guy that will treat the right. So stay the course, don't change or feel the need to compromise yourself or your beliefs for a girl. Find the person that compliments you and let it flow. Don't force yourself into something and end up regretting or realizing it's not what you wanted or expected because that isn't fun for either party. So I leave you with this nice guy, yes there are so many people who are in relationships, but there are also just as if not more people who are single and content and truly happy. Be patient, live your life, don't let your happiness be dependent on someone else. Once you find that level of contentment and the right person does happen to come along, that'll just be bonus. Stay the course nice guy, I'm with you, peace.
Dear Nice Guy,
It's been a while since we last spoke, I hope you're doing well. I was talking to my mentor a couple of weeks ago and every time he sees me he loves to ask me how my girl situation is going lol. I told him it was alright, been on a couple of dates here and there, was seeing a girl for a couple of months that didn't end up working out. He was like "Rodmond, for you and for most if not all nice guys, it sometimes takes a bit longer to figure it all out." He went on to say things like it'll be worth the wait and such, you just gotta be patient and wait for the right one rather than settling for the wrong one. But back to you nice guy, this serves as an encouragement to you as well as a reminder to myself. Stay the course, every storm passes...in time. I know the feeling, I really do. You've always envied the jerk, the a-hole who seemingly always gets the girl, who girls seem literally drawn to. You wanted to be him because it seemed like he was the man. Be patient, nothing in life that's worth having comes easy. I know sometimes you think to yourself if 'that time' and 'that girl' will ever come. I'm hopeful for myself and for you that it will, in due time. I know you've always wondered what it would be like to be 'that guy' that seemingly every girl wants. That doesn't need to chase because girls simply flock at him. The guy that can simply do no wrong, I promise you that that life is not as glamorous and attractive as it may seem. And I stand by what I'm said countless of times, I truly believe in my heart of hearts that deep down, every girl wants a nice guy that will treat the right. So stay the course, don't change or feel the need to compromise yourself or your beliefs for a girl. Find the person that compliments you and let it flow. Don't force yourself into something and end up regretting or realizing it's not what you wanted or expected because that isn't fun for either party. So I leave you with this nice guy, yes there are so many people who are in relationships, but there are also just as if not more people who are single and content and truly happy. Be patient, live your life, don't let your happiness be dependent on someone else. Once you find that level of contentment and the right person does happen to come along, that'll just be bonus. Stay the course nice guy, I'm with you, peace.
Tuesday, February 27, 2018
I Appreciate You
"If you admire somebody, go ahead and tell'em. People never get the flowers while they can still smell'em." - Kanye West
I've learned and grown to be a person who enjoys telling people things I like about, appreciate or admire about them. Too many times, I'll miss opportunities and have to wait to like text or message them online, but when you tell someone something like wow your hair looks really nice today, I like that shirt on you, you're a really nice person, things like that...being able to see their reaction, the glow in the face is such a dope feeling and is so internally rewarding. Now the quote above obviously goes a bit deeper...to tell people how you really feel before they pass away and you don't have that opportunity anymore. But it's also a reminder to me to just tell people how you feel, even if it feels like such a little thing, it could make such a difference in someone's mood or day. I can't count how many times someone has told me that they liked my shirt or they remember that time I did something for them...it's such a nice feeling and it like really brightens your day. So I've really been trying to practice that lately...with my friends, with people I've just met, I think especially with your friends...sometimes you've known them for so long you forget to let them know how much you appreciate them, obviously it goes without saying but hearing it every now and then never hurts now does it? I bring all of this up because I saw a friend a couple of days ago and he was like yo man, I just wanted to say keep it up. Keep writing on the blog, keep being real and keep doing you, it's encouraging to me and so many others out there. He went on the say that he and others may not comment but they definitely read and resonate with my posts. I mean like that's such a little thing, a little gesture like hey, keep it up. But for me, it was such a boost of encouragement and motivation cuz there really are some days when I wanna call it quits or just nothing comes to mind y'feel? So yeah, don't hold these things in...as weird as it may feel sometimes, let people know what you're thinking, even if they might not express appreciation outwardly in return, I guarantee it'll make them feel some sorta way...most if not all the time positive. So seriously...tell your friends how dope they are, tell that person you really like their outfit today, compliment somebody's haircut or something...a little bit really does go a long way sometimes. Till next time, see you soon, peace.
I've learned and grown to be a person who enjoys telling people things I like about, appreciate or admire about them. Too many times, I'll miss opportunities and have to wait to like text or message them online, but when you tell someone something like wow your hair looks really nice today, I like that shirt on you, you're a really nice person, things like that...being able to see their reaction, the glow in the face is such a dope feeling and is so internally rewarding. Now the quote above obviously goes a bit deeper...to tell people how you really feel before they pass away and you don't have that opportunity anymore. But it's also a reminder to me to just tell people how you feel, even if it feels like such a little thing, it could make such a difference in someone's mood or day. I can't count how many times someone has told me that they liked my shirt or they remember that time I did something for them...it's such a nice feeling and it like really brightens your day. So I've really been trying to practice that lately...with my friends, with people I've just met, I think especially with your friends...sometimes you've known them for so long you forget to let them know how much you appreciate them, obviously it goes without saying but hearing it every now and then never hurts now does it? I bring all of this up because I saw a friend a couple of days ago and he was like yo man, I just wanted to say keep it up. Keep writing on the blog, keep being real and keep doing you, it's encouraging to me and so many others out there. He went on the say that he and others may not comment but they definitely read and resonate with my posts. I mean like that's such a little thing, a little gesture like hey, keep it up. But for me, it was such a boost of encouragement and motivation cuz there really are some days when I wanna call it quits or just nothing comes to mind y'feel? So yeah, don't hold these things in...as weird as it may feel sometimes, let people know what you're thinking, even if they might not express appreciation outwardly in return, I guarantee it'll make them feel some sorta way...most if not all the time positive. So seriously...tell your friends how dope they are, tell that person you really like their outfit today, compliment somebody's haircut or something...a little bit really does go a long way sometimes. Till next time, see you soon, peace.
Thursday, February 22, 2018
Life Lessons From My Mentor
Someone I really look up to is my old elementary school teacher and coach. He's someone I always talk about on this blog and to my friends.If you've ever seen Boy Meets World, I literally look at him as Mr. Feeny. This man taught me and coached me when I was in grade 7 and 8. I went back in high school for volunteer hours and we became pretty cordial and pretty friendly with one another. Even tho I finished my hours in like grade 9, I kept going back every year to help him coach volleyball and basketball, through that we became really good friends and through university, I visited him every now and then. Like I've been to his house, had dinner, met his family...we're boys lol. I went to visit him today cuz it's been almost a year and I've been really busy, it was so nice just to catch up and so see how he's doing. To share what I've been doing and going through and to be able to encourage one another. It's weird thinking he was my teacher considering he's confided in me some personal struggles...it really made me see him as a great friend as well. But yeah, today we were talking about a lot of things...how much time has passed, how we're all getting older and stuff. But even tho you get older...you never stop learning, you never stop growing...and it should be like that. No matter how old you are, how smart you are or how much you've been through and experienced...there's always more to learn and grow. I told him how I felt I was in a transitional stage of life...not really feeling like a kid but not really feeling like an adult...he said that never really goes away either. That sometimes, he even wonders to himself like am I really an adult you know...like taking care of yourself, taking care of someone else and stuff, it's crazy. He told me how right now at my stage of life, all that really matters is family and friends...most of if not all my time goes towards that. But as you get older, your priorities start shifting. He tells me how he's so busy with his kids them being enrolled in so many sports and classes and stuff that it's always boom, boom, on the go and like you barely get time to yourself, let alone see your friends. That and you might not even live close to them because life, work and family might take you in different directions and they take priority. It really hit me you know...some of these years might be the best times of our lives...in terms of seeing your friends and hanging out with them so frequently...cuz most people I would say aren't so lucky to have their friends be in the same neighbourhood or proximity as them, it gets harder and harder to see each other when you have kids, job and family to take care of, it's crazy. The last thing he and his girlfriend told me was to really take my time when it comes to relationships and finding a girl. I really want you to read this carefully cuz it made so much sense to me. She and him both come from failed marriages and found each other, but obviously the goal is for the first one you get into to work, no one expects a marriage to fail. Both of them really emphasized to me to take my time, to be patient. That so what if you are single from say age 15-30...that's 15 years of your life you're figuring things out, don't you think it's worth it to wait 15 years for the right one. And when you do find the right one, you're able to spend the rest of your life with them...the next 40-50+ years. I was like damn...I honestly have never thought about it like that. Being a bit patient, maybe even a bit picky because this is the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with...I think you owe it to yourself to make sure that this is the right one, it's not like you can exchange or refund this. That just really hit me like a truck because it rang so true. But yeah, I know this post is getting long so I'll cut it here, I know it's been a while, sorry. I have all these relationship and love posts on my phone cuz that's all that's been inspiring me lately lol, so yeah, see you soon.
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
How To Get/Approach A Girl
Hey friends, hope you are doing well. Happy Valentine's Day to you couples...Happy Single Awareness Day to everyone else, stay SAD folks...LOL. So this is a post I had in my back pocket for quiet some time and I only started 'interviewing' people last week. It wasn't until like 2 days ago I was like oh yeah, Valentine's Day is coming up...that would be a dope/funny day to put this out on. So at first, I debated asking not only how to approach girls, but how to approach guys as well...but I figured most girls...'most girls'...don't approach guys and instead zeroed in my focus onto just approaching and/or getting girls. So major shout outs to all the people I asked, even if you didn't get back to me in time, no worries. I asked 5 different guys and girls, all of different age ranges to get the most diverse set of opinions and answers, so without further ado...I asked them all the same question.
In your opinion cor from your experience, how does a guy go about getting/approaching a girl?
Guy #1: I feel like there's so many different answers to this, um...ask for their number? Well if I don't know them, I would talk to them and then ask them out on a date hopefully. I think you would kick it for a bit, go on a few dates, then seeing how it goes, first kiss, then probably asking them to be yours. I think you have to be confident and just be like hey I thought you were cute so I wanted to know if I can have your number.
Girl #1: Well effort is definitely attractive but I feel like generally you can't "make" someone like you by pursuing them ya feel. Like be open and spend time talking to them and going out and stuff, but usually if you guys click then you click, and don't rush things!! Also try to remember small things they bring up and expand conversation on that.
Guy #2: Well clearly my luck with girls hasn't been the greatest, but getting and approaching a girl is honestly one of the hardest things to conquer. It\s almost like solving an equation, you gotta plug in a couple of formulas in before you get the correct answer. Approaching a girl is the hardest thing, but thinking of something to say is even harder. By complimenting something she's wearing, or even saying something dumb but funny at the same time. Now getting a girl is different, because once you have her attention, making a wrong move often leads to disaster. Listening is huge when trying to talk to a woman, because it shows you actually care about what she says and it can actually help you in the future. Like if she tells you what her favourite chocolate bar is, and a couple dates in you surprise her with her favourite chocolate bar. As small a gesture as that is, it can mean a lot to her. Honestly as long as you show her the real you, can make her laugh and respect her thoughts and decisions the rest will figure itself out.
Girl #2: I honestly don't know it all just happened naturally so there's no specific steps I can think of. I like it when thing just flow and happen naturally.
Guy #3: A guy needs to be unique. He can't be like everyone else. When he leaves the girl, the girl needs to remember him, miss him, want to start up a conversation rather than the guy having to start the conversation. You want the girl waiting to talk to you, waiting for you to be done work, school, whatever so you can give her attention. You want her to want your attention because that means you're worth it. You're worth her being crazy over. Having a girl that's "crazy" isn't always a bad thing because that means she's crazy about you, and you want that.
Girl #3: Uhhh, he text you a lot, snapchats you a lot or asks to facetime you a lot? Hints at relationshippy things like wanna go to prom or asking to hangout with just you. Oh and guys are like touchy when they like you, in a less creepy way than that sounds.
Guy #4: Real talk I think it's just about not being afraid of rejection. Seeing if they're interested first by little things like if they're msging you back of if they're down to chill. If they are then just ask if they're down to hold hands haha. Idk that's what I think tho, but I'm just a simple dude, too many mind games are just too much for me.
Girl #4: Get to know them as friends and slowly make moves and let them know that you're interested in a relationship with her. But at the same time don't expect that you won't be friend zoned like understand what she wants. Get to know her and see how she feels about being in a relationship if she's ready or not. Put that topic into conversation and slowly let her know how you feel.
Guy #5: If it's just trying to approach a stranger, I'd say just be as genuine as possible. Forget any gimmicks or what not. Be real and sincere.
Girl #5: Hmm, I think the most important part is to be direct. When a guy says "let's hang out", it's kinda annoying cause you can't really see the intention. It also just saves your own time and her time too. Obviously, not telling ppl to be direct immediately, but it's as important to take the time to get to know a girl and see how you guys vibe before you be direct. But if by a point you know for a fact that you're interested and have a slight idea she might be too, it doesn't hurt to ask. Idk about other girls, but I know that my female friends and I have talked about how we'd rather a guy admit he's interested even though we may not be so that we can straighten things out and continue a friendship if possible vs having him act hot/cold at times.
And there you have it...real guys, real girls, giving their real opinions and perspective about how they think or have experienced how a girl should go about getting/approaching a girl. Once again, much appreciation to those who helped me out, especially last minute when I decided I wanted to put this out on Valentine's Day lol, see y'all soon, peace.
In your opinion cor from your experience, how does a guy go about getting/approaching a girl?
Guy #1: I feel like there's so many different answers to this, um...ask for their number? Well if I don't know them, I would talk to them and then ask them out on a date hopefully. I think you would kick it for a bit, go on a few dates, then seeing how it goes, first kiss, then probably asking them to be yours. I think you have to be confident and just be like hey I thought you were cute so I wanted to know if I can have your number.
Girl #1: Well effort is definitely attractive but I feel like generally you can't "make" someone like you by pursuing them ya feel. Like be open and spend time talking to them and going out and stuff, but usually if you guys click then you click, and don't rush things!! Also try to remember small things they bring up and expand conversation on that.
Guy #2: Well clearly my luck with girls hasn't been the greatest, but getting and approaching a girl is honestly one of the hardest things to conquer. It\s almost like solving an equation, you gotta plug in a couple of formulas in before you get the correct answer. Approaching a girl is the hardest thing, but thinking of something to say is even harder. By complimenting something she's wearing, or even saying something dumb but funny at the same time. Now getting a girl is different, because once you have her attention, making a wrong move often leads to disaster. Listening is huge when trying to talk to a woman, because it shows you actually care about what she says and it can actually help you in the future. Like if she tells you what her favourite chocolate bar is, and a couple dates in you surprise her with her favourite chocolate bar. As small a gesture as that is, it can mean a lot to her. Honestly as long as you show her the real you, can make her laugh and respect her thoughts and decisions the rest will figure itself out.
Girl #2: I honestly don't know it all just happened naturally so there's no specific steps I can think of. I like it when thing just flow and happen naturally.
Guy #3: A guy needs to be unique. He can't be like everyone else. When he leaves the girl, the girl needs to remember him, miss him, want to start up a conversation rather than the guy having to start the conversation. You want the girl waiting to talk to you, waiting for you to be done work, school, whatever so you can give her attention. You want her to want your attention because that means you're worth it. You're worth her being crazy over. Having a girl that's "crazy" isn't always a bad thing because that means she's crazy about you, and you want that.
Girl #3: Uhhh, he text you a lot, snapchats you a lot or asks to facetime you a lot? Hints at relationshippy things like wanna go to prom or asking to hangout with just you. Oh and guys are like touchy when they like you, in a less creepy way than that sounds.
Guy #4: Real talk I think it's just about not being afraid of rejection. Seeing if they're interested first by little things like if they're msging you back of if they're down to chill. If they are then just ask if they're down to hold hands haha. Idk that's what I think tho, but I'm just a simple dude, too many mind games are just too much for me.
Girl #4: Get to know them as friends and slowly make moves and let them know that you're interested in a relationship with her. But at the same time don't expect that you won't be friend zoned like understand what she wants. Get to know her and see how she feels about being in a relationship if she's ready or not. Put that topic into conversation and slowly let her know how you feel.
Guy #5: If it's just trying to approach a stranger, I'd say just be as genuine as possible. Forget any gimmicks or what not. Be real and sincere.
Girl #5: Hmm, I think the most important part is to be direct. When a guy says "let's hang out", it's kinda annoying cause you can't really see the intention. It also just saves your own time and her time too. Obviously, not telling ppl to be direct immediately, but it's as important to take the time to get to know a girl and see how you guys vibe before you be direct. But if by a point you know for a fact that you're interested and have a slight idea she might be too, it doesn't hurt to ask. Idk about other girls, but I know that my female friends and I have talked about how we'd rather a guy admit he's interested even though we may not be so that we can straighten things out and continue a friendship if possible vs having him act hot/cold at times.
And there you have it...real guys, real girls, giving their real opinions and perspective about how they think or have experienced how a girl should go about getting/approaching a girl. Once again, much appreciation to those who helped me out, especially last minute when I decided I wanted to put this out on Valentine's Day lol, see y'all soon, peace.
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