700,000 VIEWS

So I know it’s kinda a little overdue...and I kinda already made a post about it on Instagram saying most of what I wanted to say. But I wanted to share with y’all some behind the scenes photos of that day that I didn’t post. 700,000...I’m super thankful and appreciative that’s for sure but I’m keeping my eyes forward, focusing on what’s ahead, on what’s next. I’ve been struggling to find inspiration lately, some of the posts and ideas have in mind take a lot of time and effort and those are 2 things I don’t have much of atm lol. I’ve been in a weird funk lately, but it’s a comfortable funk, one that I’m okay with being in for the time being. Summer is one of those times that’s always super busy because there’s so much going on and now on top of that I’m in the process of moving as well so there’s just a lot on my plate atm. It’s even been hard to keep up with people and friends, I’ve been slacking in a lot of aspects in my life lately. Work consumes half if not much more of my time, then I’ve been spending a lot of time at the gym lately which I think is paying off cuz I’ve had a bunch of people tell me I’ve gotten bigger LOL. The leftover time that I do have if I’m not super tired I try to catch up with friends or give myself some me time. But yeah I digress, 700,000 has come and gone and I’m already thinking of what to do for 800,000 and for the blog’s TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY HOLYYYYYYY, I just took that in oh man...anyways hope y’all enjoy some of the photos that didn’t make it onto my Instagram!

Shoutouts to Leayen Lam for helping my capture this moment! Find her here @root2photography on Instagram and her website http://www.root2photography.com/

Growth

Hey y’all, so it’s been a while I know lol...2 weeks to be exact. Which isn’t a long time but it feels like it’s been a while. I feel like so much has been going on but at the same time I also haven’t been doing much other than the usual, but it feels like a lots been happening. Shoutout one time to the Raptors and the city of Toronto...got damn, I know the majority (like 85%) of y’all reading this are from Toronto but if you’re not, man...this city has been just in its heels this entire playoff run and culminating with the championship...I was able to go downtown with my friends and it was so crazy, the electricity and the energy was insane, a night I’ll never forget for sure.

So moving on, I haven’t had much to talk about which is also why I didn’t post anything. I had some small stuff but nothing I felt I could make a blog post out of. Then it hit me a couple days ago when I was at the gym, doing chest and doing the bench press. I usually stick in dumbbells cuz I have no spotter but every 1-2 weeks I’ll switch it up and use the barbell and slowly move up in weight but keeping a comfortable pace. So I was doing a set and that’s when it hit me that I’ve been getting much stronger as of late. Obvs the physical changes are slowly and steady getting there, but I was so excited to know and feel that I’ve been getting stronger. Now I don’t say that out of cockiness or to boast, I say that cuz it’s such a dope feeling to see physical improvements and change and growth in yourself. And you can take that and apply that to anything, to your mind or your life or your current situation. Just being able to physically see improvements like better test scores, healthier relationships with people, more relaxed state of mind. It’s probably one of the most encouraging feelings seeing self growth and self improvement. It’s one thing for people to say wow you’ve become a better person since so and so, or wow you’ve skimmed down or gotten taller. But to really see and FEEL it for yourself is such an incredible feeling. But at the same time, especially with working out cuz that’s what I’ve been super into lately...it’s not going to happen overnight, it’s gonna take time and it’s gonna take hard work and commitment, but if you stay the course, you’ll see improvements. Whether it’s a stressful situation you’re dealing with, an argument with a loved one...all that stuff gets better in time but also with work. I dunno man, it’s just been such a nice feeling as of late that despite how busy and depressing a vibe work can be, I can getaway and do my own thing with my friends but also go to the gym by myself and just zone out. You choose you push yourself and go as hard as you want, some days you feel better and stronger than others, some days you feel crumby and weaker than others...just gotta push through and grind. Till next time...which might be 700k, I’ll see you soon. Don’t think I didn’t notice...about that...I’ve been grinding and working on the low low...stay tuned!

When It Finally Hits You...

My bad, I know it's been a while...this is something I started a long time ago and picked back up recently. I meant to post earlier, but I decided to hold off and instead finish this piece and post it instead.

You know that feeling when you’re in a zone and you just run with it. Like when you’re writing an essay and the words are just coming to you so you just go with it. That’s how it is for me at least...I used to save a lot of essays till the last week, but that’s how I operate weirdly enough...then I’d just go off and write pages at a time. Same with like sports or working out, when you’re in that zone you’re so focused and locked in. Anyways, this is something I never planned on finishing...cuz I never thought and never wanted to go back to these emotions, but I did and so here it is lol. The more I thought about it, the more the words just came and I just dug deeper into those emotions and finished it. With writing I feel like I’m a little bit of a perfectionist cuz I read it and sound it out in my head as if I’m saying it...and I want it to all flow smoothly...so sometimes I’ll leave stuff for a short while or usually a long while and revisit it a while later and if I can channel those emotions I’ll keep it going, if not I’ll come back to it another time lol. That’s why on my phone I have hella unfinished pieces or like a few bars I wrote at the time lol. Anyways I digress...here you go...


When It Finally Hits You...
When it finally hits you, just know it hit me harder
You went the distance for me just know I always went farther
Sometimes it felt like you were there when the timing was right for you
Then you were absent when it mattered and the moments I needed you to

It always felt right when we spent time together
Even after a couple months of not seeing each other
Time passed and feelings lingered as they always tend to do
I start getting on with my life, and then I meet up with you

I think it’s time I finally let you go
Even if I’ve never really truly let you know
Never had the strength to look you in your eyes and tell you how I feel inside
So now I set you free into the arms of another guy

I see your face every single time I close my eyes
It’s crazy now you’re someone that I hardly recognize
I’ve said it a hundred times in my mind but never to your face
And now the only thing between us is distance and space

So when it finally hits you, I’ll be long gone
No more staring out the window listening to sad songs
Our paths will cross again in time because they always do
So this is closure for me and a farewell to you

RT

Life Goes On, So Should You...

Hey friends, so I was listening to J. Cole and this lyric hit me real hard...”pick up the pen time to write my sins away, write my wrongs and then life goes on”. And this is something I started to think about these past few days. This idea that life goes on...and so should you. There’s just no time to be dwelling in the past, it distracts you from the present, from living life and from working toward your future. You can’t be walking forward if you’re constantly stopping to look back. I told y’all I’m a hoarder, I can’t throw things away...I always randomly look at old messages, old yearbook comments, old letters, old blog posts but then after a while I hit a point where I’m like what am I doing? Why am I doing this lol. I like how Facebook hits you with those memories everyday like oh “on this day you did this...” then it links you to whatever posts, pictures or whatever happened on that day in time. I mean it’s nice to look back every once in a while, to stop and smell the roses, but you should constantly be and constantly be wanting to move forward. I’ve been thinking a lot about like the friendships that you have and how some friendships fade cuz of lack of effort on both or one party...and for me it’s like yo if you’re not bout it, then just let me know. You’re either in or not, there shouldn’t be no like oh yeah I’m down to ride with you...sometimes, or when it’s convenient for me, that’s not how friendship should work. But anyways back to the quote...I was thinking to myself cuz in this age where everything is on demand, you can pause your tv, Netflix, YouTube and go do your thing and come back whenever you want and resume at that same point...life isn’t like that. Life doesn’t pause and go oh are you good now? Are you done crying? Are you done whining or complaining or hurting? Nah life keeps going...and so should you. You fall down, you get up, wipe yourself off and keep going. It’s a tough and sometimes painful lesson but it’s also a necessary one. It’s okay to take some time to gather and compose yourself, but life keeps going man, it doesn’t wait for you just cuz you’re having a bad day, having a hard time or whatever, that’s life...we all go through it, we all endure it, it is what it is, push through and keep going. Anyways that’s just my little bit of motivation today cuz it’s what hit me pretty hard recently, see y’all soon, DEUCES!

When I Look Back...

So I was listening a bunch of podcasts today when I was driving to and from the gym and I realized I’m super picky, like in the same way with shows and stuff...I’m not a fan of the most popular podcasts or shows. For example I’ve never seen Game of Thrones, Stranger Things, Suits...some of the most popular shows I’ve never seen or they just don’t interest me. So when it came to podcasts I realized I’m super picky, I usually go to like most popular or most viewed and pick one but I realized a lot of them didn’t appeal to me and ended up going with a lesser known one but it was with a dude I knew and watched on YouTube so I knew I’d like his personality. Anyways so when I was driving I was thinking a lot about the past. And if you’ve known me for a while you’ll know what I’m talking about when I say I was thinking about the 2k vlogs, the rap videos, all the poems I used to post or recite...I was thinking about that today when I was driving and I was like damn, as hella cringe as all that stuff is it definitely helped build my confidence cuz I was only in high school back then. I mean I’m still not the most confident dude but back the o was hella shy and hello quiet and would’ve never imagined putting out videos or expressing my thoughts so openly and publicly. Like at first it obviously took a toll on my self esteem cuz when you’re like 16-17 it’s like shoot what if people don’t like it, what if people make fun of you, all that Jazz. But thinking about it how...that stuff was the beginning of me being comfortable with who I am regardless of what people think cuz that’s something you can’t control. Then of course my mind wandered elsewhere...to the heartbreaks, the hard times, the stresses, the moments in my life I didn’t think I’d make it through and how I did and how it shaped me, how it taught me and how it made me who I am today and instilled the beliefs, the views and the wisdom/experiences that I carry with me. When I look back...everything that happened played a part in getting me to where I am today and becoming who I am today. We all have moments we look back on where we regret, we cringe, we get embarrassed and stuff but all that stuff happened to get you to where and who you are today. So when I was able to take that moment today to look back it was cool lol, I laughed, I cringed, I panicked a bit but all with the bigger picture in mind that it was also all necessary...so yeah that’s just my little moment of reflection for the day...till next time, peace!

Love Me Or Leave Me

You know I’ve always known that not everyone f’s with the blog...they might think it’s corny, lame, over the top or just hella unnecessary. But one thing I’ve always appreciated is that my friends support the heck out of me, I mean yeah at first sure they joked around about how dumb an idea it was, but the more serious I got about it and the bigger a part of my life it became, the more supportive they were...and I’ve truly always appreciated that with all my heart. Not everyone f’s with the blog and that’s perfectly fine. It might not be your cup of tea, you might find it boring or just not interesting and that’s super understandable. I was talking to a friend today and he told me that one of our mutual friends, someone I hold pretty near and dear to my friend...this person not only makes fun of the blog, but talks ish about how corny and stuff it is. And I won’t lie...I was pretty angry at first, but the more I thought about it, that’s when the hurt really sank in. I get if random people I don’t know, people I went to high school with or people I’ve met along the way don’t vibe with the blog, but for someone who knows me personally, a good friend...to say that kinda stuff...it’s like wow they really don’t rock with you that way...I know it’s overplayed and corny but Drake says “I got fake people showing fake love to me, straight up to my face.” In the same sense like damn, that’s truly hurtful because like I always say this blog has truly become a representation of who I am, my thoughts, my emotions, my everything...and for someone I call a friend to bad mouth it is pretty much bad mouthing me, saying they don’t mess with the blog is like saying they don’t mess with me. These kinda things really make you evaluate and reevaluate the people you surround yourself with, and for me it makes me even more protective of myself and skeptical of others, which is horrible I know. It’s just crazy to think like I’ve had people tell me the blog is dumb before, that certain posts are straight up corny, that I should just stop...I honestly pay no mind to it cuz it truly has no value to me...but when I heard a friend was saying some stuff it cut deep forreal. And honestly I still don’t really know how to process it you know...then it kinda made me think about what being a supportive friend means and to what lengths do you go to support your friend. If you don’t necessary like or agree with what they’re doing, do you still support them? What if it’s something super important to them, what if it’s something they’re super passionate about but again you feel the same way you don’t really like it or you don’t agree or you don’t believe in it, do you still support it? I dunno man, it honestly be the closest people to you that cut the deepest sometimes...I’ll see y’all soon, peace.

Single Thoughts

So whenever I meet up with people I haven’t seen in a while...whether friends, old teachers, relatives or whatever...one thing they like is how’s the girl situation, seeing or talking to anybody, how’s the relationships? Or people will ask me like oh who’s that girl on your ig or your snap lol. For a while most of my closest friends were all in serious and long term relationships. I won’t lie, sometimes I do think about that kinda stuff...but honestly and for the most part, it’s something I haven’t really and don’t really think about too often. I mean life is just so busy with work, friends, family and trying to balance everything in between that there isn’t much time to think about that stuff. I mean when you’re in a relationship, a lot of your time goes to and should go to your significant other and I don’t know if y’all know it or not but it is a really big commitment physically, mentally and emotionally. I haven’t even been thinking about blogging too much because much hasn’t been happening, my mind’s just been in grind mode recently and it’s become kinda a routine...work, gym, chill with friends and family, me time, repeat. But 2 months ago around Valentine’s Day, I read something a friend posted and had the time to really sit there and think about this whole thing for a while and it inspired me to write this. I wrote it 2 months ago, but kept editing it the more I reread it. It got to a point where I wasn’t sure if I wanted to post it anymore, yet here we are...and here it is...enjoy

Single Thoughts
Lonely thoughts sometimes creep into my mind
I try to search for love and only lust is what I find
I try to preach patience but who really wants to wait
So I try to force the cards by going on random dates

I came pretty close, I thought I almost found the one
From first date to first kiss, something beautiful had begun
But time passed and feelings faded as they sometimes tend to do
I felt hurt and all alone when she left my heart in two

Sometimes the timing isn’t right, that’s just outta your control
I want it to happen naturally, like chicken soup for the soul
But it gets hard and it gets tempting when you see a pretty face
You start to think that maybe she’s the one to fill the empty space

But then that moment of realization hits you hard like a bus
You start to tell yourself damn, you really acting kinda suss
That’s when I catch myself, slow it down and take a step back
Entitle this single thoughts as it all fades to black