Does Knowledge Determine Success?

Day 7/31

HEY HEY KIDS, sorry I was just watching The Simpsons. Anyways...moving on lol, this post is gonna be pretty subjective, cuz it can differ to each individual. Everyone's gonna have a different definition of success...is it being rich, getting your dream job, being good at your job, being happy, etc. I feel like when I'm passionate about something or I really like/enjoy it, I take it very seriously and it makes me mad/annoyed when people take it for granted or don't do a good job you know, obviously I'm sounding kinda harsh, which to an extent I am, but here me out. I used to get really mad at my friend when we played NBA 2k cuz he would always ask to play, but after a while he'd be like oh whatever, I'm gonna lose anyways, I'm just not gonna try, and I'd get annoyed and tell him like damn...if you go into life, a test, an interview with that mentality...you've sussed yourself, like just because I'm good at the videogame doesn't mean you can't beat me, which he had done on multiple occasions, but his mentality never really changed. I'm the same in actual basketball too, I get mad at dudes who mess around and goof off or don't take it seriously when we're playing an actual game. If we're just shooting around, do whatever the heck you want, but if it's a game and your'e on my team...don't mess around. There's a big difference between being not good at something but you're trying versus not being good and something and not caring. So there's this girl in one of my seminars who's a real keener...she the type of girl who remind the teacher that we had homework...nuff said. So one day we're all talking in class and she goes yeah I'm not good at public speaking but I need to be if I wanna be a teacher. The thing is she's hella smart and she's probably gonna get anything that she wants or puts her mind do, but does that mean she's going to be a good teacher? Just seeing the way she interacts in class, with classmates and our prof has me like I wonder if she would make a good teacher, I wonder if she'd be able to communicate well with the kids. Like 90% of the job is the kids. When you're a student, you always say things like oh they're a bad teacher, they don't know how to teach, bur when you're at that age...a lot of that is unwarranted because you don't know that teacher, what they're about and stuff. But now that I've had firsthand experience as a teacher and worked as a co worker with fellows teachers...I can fully say there definitely is such a thing as bad teachers, teacher's who just aren't good at their job AND/OR don't care...and that's a piss off/really sad to see. Like genuinely lazy teachers who don't care about their job and more importantly the kids. They spend more time complaining about their job than actually doing it...it's frustrating to see. It sucks knowing and potentially being someone who is good at a specific job but not having the opportunity to prove it or show it you know. I dunno, that's just kinda what I wanted to say...I know it's long, and maybe even all over the place lol, sorry...see y'all tomorrow tho.

New Phone, Who Dis

Day 6/31

Really random, but I find that whenever I blog, I can't be doing anything else. For example, I was listening to music then I was like alright let's get started on this blog post...then I was like dang I can't concentrate and had to turn of the music lol. But anyways...I didn't get a new phone, don't worry. But when people get new phones, it's like oh who are you or oh who's this, it's a good chance to declutter in a sense and like people that didn't already have your number...well you probably don't talk to them enough anyways for you to warrant giving them your number again or for them to wanna ask anyways. So I remember a long time ago...like I wanna say a couple of years ago, my boy was like yeah so I bumped into this girl that we went to high school with and we got into the usual casual conversation and my boy mentioned yeah I still chill with Rodmond or this person and I still see this person and such. And she was like wow...you really don't know how to move on do you/wow you haven't moved on eh? And when I was talking with my boy and he told me she said that I was like what? So once you graduate high school, you're supposed to 'move on' and dump all your friends...that's essentially what she was saying when she was like wow you really don't know how to move on do you. How does that make any sense in the world. With that logic, every time you graduate or move to a new job or location, it's like alright peace, time to drop everything I knew and start fresh, like what. Does that logic make sense to you? I completely get moving on and moving forward in life...but that's like completely starting a new race y'feel? So my boys and I were talking like a month ago and it was like oh remember this dude, oh remember this girl and such. So I was bored and decided to search her up on facebook and I saw she had created a new facebook and we only had like a few mutual friends, meaning she didn't bother readding all of her high school friends, only a couple. I'll never understand that whole starting new or starting fresh kinda thing you know. Like I know of people who've had really bad high school experiences and they want nothing to do with it...but like dang. That's next level, to like try to create for yourself a 'new' identity or 'new' life so no one can see how you're doing or what you've been up to and essentially cut all ties with your former self and friends. Which I guess can kinda lead me to something that just ran through my head...and it's this idea that some people can be so quick to pick up and pack their bags and move somewhere really far or just away from everything they once knew you know. Like bruh, I can't ever imagine leaving my family or my friends behind and having to make new...everything. Even going away for university is something that I hardly considered you know. Like I applied to 5 universities, but I was like 140% sure I was going tog et into my top choice which was close to home...the other 4 were interestingly enough not just far but HELLA far. But realistically, I knew deep down I was never gonna go away for university...I'd be leaving too much behind, even tho it wouldn't be 'forever'. I dunno, are you like that? After high school...or after university...you kinda are like PEACE OUT to everybody and go about making new friends and such.

The Other Guy

Day 5/31

HEY Y'ALL...feeling hella lazy right now, sorry about that, but uh here's an oldie but a goodie...dedicated to my boy with them girl problems right now...LOOOL, this is for you...

Written on March 11, 2011

You deserve better but you choose to settle for less
You choose to deal with the pain, heartache and the stress
You know he's not right for you, yet you still choose to stay
You're telling me you're all good when I know you're not okay
You're telling me you love him when he hurts you every time
I wanna hold you close but I gotta stay behind the friend line
You tell me that he loves you but I hardly see him show it
I've told you that his words are empty and deep down you know it
What does he have over you, that keeps you coming back
You're a smart girl, you should know his charm is just an act
I see you sad and hurting more than I see you with a smile
He hurts you then he says he loves you, yeah I know his style
He's rude to you, saying things a boyfriend never should
Making empty promises saying he wishes that he could
Nice guys finish last, I'm at the end of the pack
But slow and steady wins the race so you can bet that I'll be back

Back To Life, Back To Reality

Day 4/31

So I'm going back to school tomorrow, it feels weird...going for one day of class, then having Friday off, then 'officially' going back to school on Monday. Why do I start on a Thursday you ask...I'm not sure. At first I was like, yeah I'm probably not gonna go, there's like 12 people in class, who's actually gonna go, really hoping there's gonna be a decent amount of people in class and it's not like 5 people sitting in a 3 hour seminar. But yeah, it feels weird, considering I'm still in holiday mode, sleeping at like 2-3 am, waking up at like 1-2 pm...good thing my class tomorrow isn't till 2:30, so I guess I don't officially have to get back into school grind until Monday. But yeah, 3 more months of grinding...then...graduation, part 2...LOL. It's jokes cuz I went to dinner with my dad like I told y'all and I was like so dad...I'm graduating this year, again...but I don't think I'm gonna go to graduation, like I've already been, the moment and excitement is kinda dead. And he was like bruhhhh, why not...he's like yo, if I won a championship or something, I'd wanna claim the prize every single time no matter how repetitive it was. I was like yeah but it's not a championship fam LOOOL. Long story short, I'm going to graduation again LOOOL...just for my parents this time. Haven't told many people, but I've been heavily leaning towards working for a year after graduating instead of going to teacher's college. It's just this whole idea of being in universty for what feels like and is almost a decade. Don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna apply, but...whether I go is still up in the air. My boy was saying I might have even missed the deadline already to apply, so I gotta figure that out when I go back to school...if I've already missed the deadline...maybe it's a sign then. I'm literally just going with the flow and taking what's given to me as it comes...taking it one step at a time and trusting God to lead the way.

How We Met #3: My First Friends At Church

Day 3/31

How We Met #1: My First Girlfriend
How We Met #2: My Rival

Hey boys and girls...woah, that sounds weird, my bad...sounds like I'm getting ready for story time with some 10 year olds or something lol. So I'm pretty sure I've told this story...well at least PART of it to many people, so if you've heard the first part many times, I apologize, but there is definitely more to the story. So if you know me, you'll know the current church I go to, well I've been there since it was built...like probably since I was in like grade 7-8 y'feel. So I've known and grown up with a lot of the people at church, it's crazy. So this first part revolves around the first person I ever became friends with at church and the second part revolves around the first group of friends that I met at church.

So this dude...is my day 1 homie...since...well what feels like forever. So when I first came to this church, we weren't in a church, the building wasn't built yet, we were in a school. I had always gone to church on Sundays, but it was like go and come home, no new friends kinda ting...like I was new, I wasn't too social (I'm still not really) and I didn't really take my faith too seriously. My parents got to talking to some of the pastors and counselors and they were like hey, your son should go to fellowship, there's a bunch of kids his age and he'll meet lots of people, so my parents forcefully made me to go fellowship LOL. I was the kinda kid who would like sit at the back or sit away from people y'feel. So I went to fellowship and I picked like the middle ish row, but sat all the way in the corner away from civilization with my hood up, a CLEAR sign not to bother me. I can't really see my peripheral vision cuz my hood's up, but I hear a voice go "hey what's up?" I look and it's this like hella weird dude with glasses smiling at me like hey are you new and such. In my head I'm like dang, who this boy tryna be all friendly and stuff. Little did I know that dude would pretty much become my best friend at church like a decade or so down the road. We still talk about it to this day lol...we'd eventually go on to play lots of basketball with each other, a lot of video games, and see and go through many struggles with each other. We shared hella common interests like our PSP's, delivering papers, our love for sports and our general quirkiness. I'd go to bat for this dude any day and I'll forever have his back, I got you homie...always.

So moving on to my first 'group' of friends at church...which kinda stems off the first friend I made at church since they were his friends and they were the dudes that he chilled with. But I didn't meet them through him, well kinda. The one standout moment I remember was always seeing them play basketball in the school's gym before fellowship. I remember one Sunday wearing a Tracy McGrady shirt and one of the dudes behind me was like hey, you like basketball? He's like yeah we play on friday's like an hour or two before fellowship...and we kinda just hit it off from there...it was jokes cuz it was mainly 4 dudes whom I first met and chilled with. My first friend, his brother...and then two other guys, who just so happened to be brothers as well lol. Who'd a thought something like basketball would be the factor that would've allowed me to meeting and making my first few friends at church.

Looking back now...to those friends, where we are and how far we've all come and grown, it's surreal. Or even just looking at the friends I have now and how we met...sometimes it's like the oddest of origins...it's pretty funny to look back on. What about you...how did you and some of your closest friends first meet? It's pretty cool and nostalgic to think about. See y'all tomorrow.

You Gotta Let Go To Move Forward

Day 2/31

Hey y'all, so I went to dinner with dad just now and it was dope just being able to talk to him about life, school, my plans and stuff. I definitely get my knack for using analogies from him, cuz when he was just talking to me about like life and church and stuff...he used analogies that were relatable and made it easier to understand. Pretty much he was like...you people wanna hold onto certain things so bad that it prevents them from moving forward y'feel. And that made so much sense to me...he was like take 2016 for example...you gotta let go of what happened in 2016 in order to move on to 2017, you can't be holding onto things like grudges or whatever happened in the past cuz it distracts, slows you down and prevents you from moving forward. It made me think of another analogy I heard...like imagine you're in a jungle swinging from vine to vine. You can't swing and grab onto another vine without first letting go of the vine you're already holding onto...otherwise you slow yourself down and risk like falling or whatever, you get it what I'm saying? I guess it was just a good reminder for me...and hopefully to you...that you gotta let go in order to move on, move forward. Letting go can be scary cuz you want that certainty of having the next vine in your hands,s but it's not like that...you can't grab something, then decide to let go of the old thing. You gotta let go of the old thing first before grabbing the new one...whatever that may be for you. But yeah, just some real insightful words from my dad, till tomorrow...peace out.

Hello 2017

Day 1/31

Happy new year friends...haven't spoken to y'all since last year...........GOT'EM LOL. But uh, here we are...back again, ANOTHER 31 STRAIGHT DAYS of posts...hope y'all can handle it without getting annoyed of me, jokes. But uh, I guess let's get straight into it.

Starting off the new year, it hit me like a truck...if you want something...GO AND GET IT. Don't ask questions, don't think about it...don't doubt yourself or your worth...be confident. If you want something, believe that you can get it, then work hard and go get it. The more you think, the more you convince yourself that you're not worth it, that you can't do it, that it's out of your reach. Whether it's good grades, a job, a girl, a boy...if you want it...GO GET IT. Missed opportunities is one of the worst feelings ever...looking back and going dang, I wish this, I wish that...what if this, what if that. TAKE RISKS...failure and rejection are A PART OF LIFE. It helps us grow, learn and when we're faced with the same situation, we know what to and what not to do. I'd rather say I did it and failed or did it and got rejected than be like nah I didn't do it, or wonder what would've or could've happened if I did to it. What;s even worse is seeing someone else do it, or get it...and be like that could've been me. Take risks, don't be afraid to fail or get rejected, that's life...you live, you learn, you grow. Believe in yourself, I know I sound preachy...but it really hit me in the face and especially in the heart. Missing an opportunity and seeing someone else do what I couldn't...it doesn't even make me mad...it just...stings...real bad. I thought about it too much...I doubted myself, I convinced myself out of it, I didn't believe in myself...and now I'm sitting here like well what if this, what if that. And I don't want the same for you...take chances...it's scary I know, but the failure or rejection only hurts for a little bit...whereas not knowing...that can and will last...I'm telling you. That's all I really have, see y'all tomorrow.