The Longest First Date

So...I kinda gave up on the whole 'posting every day' only because it was legit hard and stressful trying to think of a post everyday and I honestly didn't wanna just put on something uninteresting or boring just for the sake of putting it out and I def didn't wanna recycle posts either. Like by stressful I mean I'd literally sit in front of a blank word document trying to think of something to write about...so I decided not to do that and instead put out quality content. As well, it's just been a busy week with work and Christmas so there were a lot of events and things going on so I really didn't have much time. But Merry Christmas, hope you're doing well, hope this reaches you well...let's move on.

So this was a couple years ago and it was probably one of the longest and most fun 'first dates' I've ever been on and it's funny cuz everything was super unplanned, last minute and spontaneous which kinda made it a good time lol. So I made plans to go out with this girl for dessert one night, I had an event till like 9:30 so I was like how about I pick you up at 10 and we can grab dessert. So that was the original plan, she texted me at like 9 saying her family had friends over and she couldn't leave until they left so I was like oh okay, lemme know when they're close to leaving or we can always reschedule. So I went out after my event with my friends to this dessert spot and it was like 10 pm so I was like oh she hasn't messaged me yet so it's probably a flop I'm guessing. She messages me at 10:30 and says oh they're leaving soon, I can be ready for 11 are you still down? So I picked her up at like 11 and we grabbed bubble tea and sat at a table. I don't know how or why but we started playing coin hockey, which is where you have 3 quarters on the table and you try to flick one quarter through the other 2 quarters consecutively until you can shoot it into the 'net\ the other person creates with their index and pinky fingers on the table, does that make sense? Google it if it doesn't lol...anyways, I remember she like heavily insisted to pay for my drink for being late and also since I picked her up so I was like alright cool. I remember the dude beside us was like trying to talk to her while I was like sitting across from her LOL...she ended up saying oh it's pretty loud in here do you wanna get out of here, so we did. I started driving and she's like oh where're we going...I was like oh, it's like midnight, I thought I was driving you home LOL...she's like nah, I'm down to chill longer, so I was like alright true, we didn't really know where we wanted to go I kinda drove around aimlessly while we talked and jammed to music. Suddenly she was like oh are you into scary movies or horror stuff, to which I said not really. She was like oh there's this haunted bridge where this girl supposedly died and she was like yeah legend says you can hear her crying or something when you are standing on the bridge LOOOL. So, against my better judgement...we went to this 'haunted bridge' and bro it was pitch black...no lights of any kinda and it was such a narrow road only one car could fit on it. But she said that apparently during the day, cars go onto this bridge all the tie because it's a shortcut and if an oncoming car comes, one of them will have to pull to the side so the other can cross. So we get to this bridge...I kid you not, pitch black, my high beams are on and I'm pretty terrified I won't lie. She said “let's get out and take a walk”...BRUH WHAT...I was like nahhhhh, I'm not doing that nor am I letting you do that cuz I don't want either of us to die LOL. So we sat in the car on that bridge for a good 30 minutes debating whether we wanted to get out of the car or not LOL...in the end I was like nah, I really don't think this is a good idea lol so we flopped on that. By then it was like 3 am...she looked at me and she was like are you tried, do you wanna go home? I was like oh I'm good for whatever, she was like do you wanna grab food, so we went to this breakfast spot that is like open 24/7 apparently and surprisingly it was hella packed at like 3 am lol. We got food, chilled and continued with the night...evening...morning? We ended up leaving at like 5 am and I drove her home lol. I remember she didn't have keys so her mom had to open the door for her, she told me the next day her mom was so tired she just shook her head and let her in, then the next morning was like where'd you go and why'd you come home so late lol. I got home like 5:30 and pretty sure I didn't sleep that night after showering it was probably like 6 am...my mom was what'd you do last night, I was just like oh, chilling lol...so yeah that's the longest but one of the most fun and tiring first dates I've ever been on lol.a

Indulgence

Chasing after happiness I wonder what I’ll find
Temporary joy, but I’m ignoring all the signs
Running fast and with a purpose, not looking left and right
Tunnel vision clouding both my judgement and my sight

Following my heart, sometimes I don’t know what that means
Wandering aimlessly until my logic intervenes
Temptation grows as forbidden fruit gets more appealing
Going with the flow and giving in to my gut feeling

Indulging in a life I’ve always seen but never known
Living a life my old self would certainly not condone
Blurred lines and mixed emotions, confusing wrong and right
The path is getting darker, I can’t really see the light

When it gets too much and I’m in too deep
Don’t even ask, just pull me back
Set me straight and point the way
So I can get back on the right track

10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

First off, sorry for not being able to put out a post these past 2 days, it's been real busy with a lot of moving parts as of late so I haven't had much time to really sit down and write. But anyways, let me take y'all through a behind the scenes of the night before the blog's 10th anniversary. So honestly, leading up to and on the day of it was such a rollercoaster of emotions...I started thinking of wanting to have some sort of party for the blog's 10th anniversary like months ago. I went back and forth between having a huge ass party with just anybody and everybody to celebrate this 'momentous' occasion, but it was stressful looking at different venues, air bnb's and all that jazz. I was totally down to splurge a little bit and book a place and have just a huge party, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to think to myself well why, is this just an excuse to have a party lol which it definitely is as well don't get me wrong. As more time passed, I began to settle on the idea of having a smaller party with just close friends and people I enjoy being around, that way I could have it my place and use the money I would've spent on a venue to buy food and drinks for everyone. Let me tell you tho, planning and hosting a party sucks lol and it's really stressful. So many thoughts go through your mind like oh who should I invite, I don't want people to get offended, how many people, how much food and drinks do I need. The worst is like when people aren't communicative and don't let you know if they're coming or not or say maybe lol. The day of the party, everything leading up to it gave me so much stress and anxiety lol...I dropped my phone in the toilet for one, the weather was really crappy which made me think people would flop and I was right...but at the same time other people flopped last minute cuz of other reasons which is totally understandable but just kinda adds to the stress factor of hosting a party and wanting it to turn out well and shit. I'll touch on this briefly cuz it is what is...the people that didn't respond or didn't say anything to me...I mean you're not obligated to, but it would've been nice to receive the courtesy of like oh I can't come or oh I'm busy...now obvs the flip side is I could've reached out to each people and be like hey are you coming, but I feel like I made the first move by sending the invite, it's like sending a double text like oh hey, you there? But yeah that's all I'll say about that. Honestly, when it came down to it, it was such a great night...old friends, new friends...having fun and just chilling. It was super dope and I was really happy. I think I get and got too caught up in just like the logistics and wanting everything to be perfect and wanting everyone to have fun that I should've just bee like yo, relax and enjoy yourself...and I did haha.

On a different note...and to quote my coworker when I told him the blog was turning 10, “you're fuckin' old bro” LOOOL. I started this blog when I was in high school...writing corny poems about girls, making cringey rap videos, writing and recording semi dope rhymes...sharing my life, my journey, my innermost thoughts, feelings and emotions on everything from life, family, friends, relationships, struggles, failures, triumphs, victories...you've seen it all on this blog and it's a timeline of my growth and my journey. I'm sure one day when I hang it all up and am able to look back at all of this...it'll be so crazy to see the progression and the chnnge. But I mean for now, I'm still having fun, I'm still enjoying it at times and it still gives me some sense of purpose and encouragement, so I'll still be here and I hope you'll continue to ride with me till the wheels fall off...cheers to another year, PEACE!

To Whom It May Concern

Day 13/31

Found this in my notes from ages ago and tbh I don’t even really remember who this was about tbh, I mean I vaguely remember but it’s fun to guess and try to think about who it could be lol. I have a bunch of random notes like these on my phone lol, a lot of random stuff about girls and random poems and rhymes and raps that I never really finished lol, here you go,

The Power Of Perspective

Day 12/31

So I was at the gym this morning after my exam and I finished my workout and I kinda had a moment thinking to myself, man...isn't it crazy how like your own perspective and how you see things can drastically change and affect your mood or even your self esteem. For example, at the gym...I can look at a smaller dude or someone lifting lighter weights than me and think to myself...well damn, I'm huge, I'm the got damn world's strongest man LOL. But then I can also look at a bigger dude or someone lifting much heavier weights than me and think to myself well damn, I got sticks for arms and legs lol. And this kinda way of thinking can be applied in any kinda context really. You get an 80 on your test...you look at the dude beside you and he got a 60, you're like damn...I'm Albert frickin Einstein...or you look to the person on your other side and they got a 96 and you're like damn...I'm dumb as rocks lol. It's crazy how our perspective can impact our moods, attitudes and self esteem so greatly. But more than that, I think it's also what you do and how you respond to that perspective. For example, seeing a dude bigger than me at the gym can either make me think to myself that I'm hella small and weak...or give me motivation to work really hard or take steroids or something LOL jokes. But you get what I mean tho...you control that entire aspect. You choose how you want to read into a situation and you choose how you want to respond to it as well. I remember in high school, seeing people who were better at basketball than me or better shooters than me made me want to work that much harder to improve my game and be better. But on the flipside, something like softball for example I see how good people are and I'm not even that passionate about the sport where I'm like yeah, maybe this sport's just not for me. But again, you can apply this mindset to any kinda context, doesn't just have to be sports, it was just really interesting to me to think that our own perspective can shift our mood and attitude so drastically. Just some food for thought for today, till tomorrow...DEUCES!

Best Foot Forward

Day 11/31

I really like watching certain people's vlogs because it's like a glimpse into their life, seeing their daily interactions and lowkey living vicariously through them lol, as well some of them just have real dope personalities and I feel this weird connection witht them. But at the same time, the one thing that I've learned is to not take it at face value...because it's exactly what I said it is, just a small glimpse into their daily life. And usually, it's the best, fun and most entertaining parts of their life. Kinda like instagram how a lot of us only show or post our best selves living our best lives, but we all know that there's so much more that's not being shown, but we all wanna put our best foot forward. I remember Casey Neistat would always say his vlogs were for entertainment purposes and for him to tell a story and he would try to keep his personal and family life out of it. But then you have people like Timothy DelaGhetto who just vlogs things from his family, his wife to his job and his friends...and I remember he would say like oh my friends or my wife would always get annoyed at it at first because it's like shoot the camera's coming on we gotta put on a front and smile and look all proper, but eventually they kinda got used to it. I guess similarly with this blog...as honest as I am on here, there are deeper layers that I definitely keep to myself or share with those closest to me. Another thing I've learned from watching vlogs is that you have the power to control how other see your life...now necessarily the perspecctive or opinion they're gonna have...but you control what they see y'feel. If this blog was only about the best times in my life or like random dates or adventures with friends I go on...it'd be such a different vibe you know. I remember watching certain vlogs and thinking to myself, damn this person's life is so dope...they always eat dope food, go on adventures, their life just looks so interesting and fun...but in reality that's probably just a small portion of their life that they are choosing to share with you when there is so much more that they aren't sharing. Again, similarly with this blog...A LOT of my life is on this blog, share with you for you to enjoy, laugh, criticize, critique, anything and everything...then there is a lot of my life and A LOT of my thoughts that I don't share...because it's not necessary and also I just don't want to as well. I remember a friend once told me like hey, you know you don't have to blog about everything right, there are some things you can keep for yourself and keep to yourself, and your closest loved ones...you'll enjoy and cherish it more for sure. That's something that definitely stuck with me...you don't have to blog about everything or you don't have to instagram or snapchat everything. I mean even tho I still do instagram a lot of my life...both for entertainment and reflection purposes...I really do make a conscious effort to live in the moment and just enjoy it and live it. With that being said, I'll see y'all tomorrow.

A Trip Down Memory Lane

Day 10/31

So I was talking to my dad today and I said something and he was like oh you never tell me anything, you always tell your mom lol. I didn't tell him this, but for one...I drive my mom to work a lot of the times or I'll drive myself to the bus stop for school while she's in the car then she'll drive home so there's a lot of time for just random conversation lol. Second, whenever I do tell stuff to my dad he somehow always, ALWAYS turns it into some sort of lecture lol and sometimes I'm just not bout that lol. Anyways, so we were talking and my dad always asks me random questions out of the blue sometimes...his favourite is to ask me how certain friends are doing...like I'm talking about friends he's maybe met once or twice and like hardly knows...the randomest of people lol. He'll be like oh hey, this person stopped by my store today, didn't you go to high school with him, how's he doing? I'm like dad, I went to high school with him, that' it lol. Anyways, so he was doing that today...just asking me oh, how's this person doing, how's that person doing...but these people were people a little closer to me you could say, friends...people I've chilled with and hung out with. So he would ask me oh how's this person, how's that person, are they still living here, are they still working here. And what was funny and kinda jokes when he kept asking me was my responses...because a lot of it was...I dunno, haven't seen them in a while, we don't talk anymore, a lot along those lines...and it really made me sit and think for a second about the chunk of people who I'd say I'm pretty friendly with...that I just don't talk to, don't see or haven't heard from in a while. So the conversation continued and I kinda flipped it onto my dad lol cuz I've definitely seen a lot of people come and go into my household and in my head I was like hmm what happened to this dude, he doesn't come over anymore or what happened to this dude I don't see him anymore. So I started name dropping like oh what happened to this person and this person and this person. And he would tell me like oh this person left the church so we don't talk anymore, this person moved to another country, this person moved to a different city and stuff. There are still friends that he keeps in contact with very frequently even tho they live really far away. It got me thinking about my own life, my own friends...what happens when we inevitably get married, move out, move away, have less time, priorities shift, all that jazz. You see each other less because of maybe family, distance, work, whatever it may be. It's crazy to think...will you still keep in contact? I remember my old teacher telling me how after a long day of work and having to make dinner and put the kids to bed, he just wants to spend some time with the wife and knockout lol...how there isn't anymore time for friends or just hanging out with the boys...maybe once a month or once in a while...and I won't lie that scared me a bit, but it made sense. Your wife, your kids, your family are gonna be your priority and who you want to spend your time with, your wife becomes like your best friend...someone you confide in. When you think about family, work, bills, self and all that jazz...it's like man, is there even any room or time for friends? Just an interesting thought I had after a good conversation with my dad, till tomorrow...peace.