The Best Advice Ever

I won't lie to you guys, this month has felt like an eternity...it's been such an up and down month emotionally, I've been so all over the place. I told y'all I've been kinda in a funk, going through some things lately. I also said that not much in my life is really a secret...in terms of on this blog or just in person, doesn't take much prying to get me to open up to you...and I guess I can thank the blog for that...for making me very transparent and someone who opens up easily..a strength and a weakness at times. So I shared with some of the kids I teach this past Sunday essentially what's been bothering me. Long story short...I was kinda seeing this girl for a little bit and it didn't work out. She went away to school...so who knows, maybe feelings just died down, timing wasn't right or she wasn't ready...it just didn't work out. It kinda sucks cuz I guess you could I got too emotionally invested into her, into it...too fast...and obvs that took toll on me emotionally. Who knows if she's even gonna read this...if you're reading this, it's too late...cue Drake's 'Hold On We're Going Home'...cuz you're a good girl and you know it...right? Inside joke, only she'll get it if she reads this. But yeah, I guess that's what's been up with me lately...trying to make sense of all that...while having so much on my plate like my brother's birthday, mother's day and of course my own birthday...it was a lot of contrasting emotions that I was feeling all at once lol. 

So I saved this tweet a long time ago, intending on making a post about it...because it's so true. And I think it can't apply to me anymore than it does right now. Again, just the last 2 posts that I wrote...were both pieces I started and never finished and I'm super happy with how they turned out. I look at some of my favourite posts on this blog and the posts with the most views...the above tweet is applicable and relatable...all the stories about girls, all the poems, all the posts where I just pour my heart out. I read this tweet again as I'm writing these words and it hurts my heart to the core y'feel. So now you may be asking yourself...okay Rodmond, so what's the best advice ever. It's something i heard from my boy a couple of weeks ago and probably something I've heard other times as well...simply put...it gets better. With anything and everything in life that you're going through...a break up, an argument, losing a loved one, depression, anxiety, whatever it might be...it gets better. It always does...and that's such a positive mindset and I love it. Because it's easy to wanna sulk in your sadness, but to know that it gets better...that time heals all wounds, is SUCH a comforting feeling. Especially in a relationship standpoint...if it doesn't work out...I was reading that it prepares you for your next relationship...you start to know what you want/are looking for and what you don't want/aren't looking for. That made so much sense to me...not only that, but it also prepares you as a person to be a better half for somebody else, to know okay...maybe I should improve this or do this instead for my next relationship. So yeah, I don't wanna make this too long...I just wanna say that whatever it is you're going through right now...as much as it sucks, as hard as it may seem...it gets better. it always does...keep your head it.

Lost Ones

Told you guys I've been writing a lot...this is also something I started quite a while ago, but never had the heart to finish. But thinking a lot lately...about a lot of people...and I guess this was written with a couple of them in mind, referencing to specific memories that I've been reminiscing upon.

Dedicated to the friends that I hardly see
I really miss the summer nights when it was only you and me

Intimate conversation, I knew something was brewing
Chilling with you, it didn’t matter what we were doing

Family by bond, but at times deeper than blood
Remember throwing around the football, jumping, diving in the mud

It only took a couple months for me to see you as my brother
Late night conversations and home cooked meals by my mother

You understood me, I saw this lasting longer than it did
Remember driving me home in the snow and you almost hit that little kid

I think about you a lot, I really hope you're doing well
Remember the hella lame ghost stories about trees we used to tell

I remember looking at your face, I knew something wasn't right
3 am conversations at the park, I still think about those nights

Life has taken us on different paths that we all gotta go
To the lost ones aka the friends I used to know

Dear Rodmond

So um...you know how I'm usually pretty honest with y'all and I share most of what happens in my life with y'all...well, give me some time...kinda in a weird mind state right now. But, I've been very inspired lately...to write, a lot...and I'll explain more in detail in another post. But uh...this is something that I started like I wanna say at least a month or probably more ago....I had like the first 4 lines down...then today, right now...I was just very inclined and inspired to finish it...it's interesting cuz I remember what inspired me when I first started writing it...and now that I've finished it, it was about something completely different...but it;s still along the same lines...so it kinda flows really well...I dunno, I've read this over to myself a good several time...and I'm just really happy with how it turned out...in my head at least...so yeah.

Dear Rodmond,
Young man, I know you're going through some things

But I got some things to say to you, I'm sorry if it stings

Man up and learn to stand up on your own two feet

This is just one of many times in your life you'll taste defeat

The truth is your friends won't always be there when you need it
You gotta learn to take care of yourself, man I mean it
Heartbreak is gonna hurt, you're gonna know it very well
It'll prepare you for something beautiful in the future, I can tell
Don't let the sadness and uncertainty of life bring you down
The more you wanna soak in it, the likely you are to drown
The glass is always half full, I know that you believe it
Searching for love all your life, I know you’ll soon receive it
It sucks to see how sudden that the tables can turn
But I know you’ll turn it around into lessons you learn
Its okay to be sad, as long as you know that it gets better
The sun comes after the rain, that’s why I’m writing you this letter

Sincerely,
RT

Same Answers, Different Solutions

You know when you're struggling or when you don't know what to do...you go to your friends right...or you go to people you trust for advice. But here's the thing with advice...different people will tell you different things...and also, different pieces of advice are different for each person and each situation. That's kinda what sucks sometimes about getting advice...you get differentiating opinions and perspectives. For me at least...when I'm really stumped...I lean heavily on that advice...it weighs heavily on my decisions and actions. But again, when you go to like 5 different people and get 5 different pieces of advice, you can see how that creates a dilemma. Say if I'm going through a problem and I go to person 1 and they tell me to do this...I go ahead and do it and I'm like oh true. Then I go talk to person 2 and they tell me no, no, no...don't do that...do this, then I go ahead and do this...repeat for persons 3, 4 and 5. See how that kinda poses a problem? I dunno man..when I really don't know what to do...that advice and perspective kinda becomes my own. But I guess I'm kinda learning and kinda being taught that despite the advice that you might be receiving...you're the one who ultimately has to make the decision, take those steps. The advice is just...there, you're not obligated to follow it word for word, you can take pieces that you agree with it, but it doesn't have to become your perspective. Sometimes, you have your own decision or perspective in mind...but it gets changed because you've gone to so many people for advice you kinda forget what you originally wanted to do. Man...it sucks. Every person, every situation, every circumstance is different...in the same way, reading an article about someone who's going through the same or a similar situation as you can be hella helpful or not because everybody is different. The same thing that worked for one person might not work for you, you know. It's like a math question...2 might get the same answers, but they might have solved it differently...dang, I literally just thought of that analogy and I actually really like it. Ultimately, we all have some sort of finish line that we hope to get to...we're all going to get to some sort of finish line, I hope...but each of us is going to get there differently...some slower and some faster than others...each enduring different things. I guess this is me to you, but also a good reminder to myself...that advice is there to help, but you don't have to take it word for word. Like those candies or chocolates restaurants leave at the waiting area...you don't have to take it, it's there if you need or want it. Sorry, I just really like giving analogies and they're all hitting me all at once right now lol. Yeah I dunno...wasn't even sure what I was gonna talk about today...then this kinda just popped into my head...isn't it funny how that works sometimes? See y'all soon, peace!

Note To Self

Hey Rodmond,

I know you're struggling right now...but there's going to come a point in time in the future where you're going to look back on this and laugh...more so you're going to understand why it was all necessary. Cling onto this hope...it may be sometime in the near future, or the far off future...but cling onto the fact that with anything and everything you've been through...there ALWAYS came a point where you were able to look back and laugh...and understand. I know it's tough right now...it feels like the end of the world...it's a familiar feeling isn't it...like we've been here before. There're some things that your friends and family aren't going to be able to help you with...there are some things you're going to struggle and fail real hard...but I promise it's all purposeful to shape you into a better you. I know it sometimes seems unbearable...stay strong, have faith...it gets better, it always does. I'm so proud of the man you're becoming, you still have so much left to learn, to grow, to understand. Sometimes, things might not make sense...and that's okay. Sometimes, the answer might not be in black and white...heck, sometimes you might not even find the answer...and that's okay...have faith that it's okay not to know the answer, it's okay not to understand what's going on at the given moment. After all, faith is being sure of what you hope for and being certain of what you don't see. I promise that all this will serve to strengthen your faith if anything...that this pain, this hardship, this struggle you're going through right now...will all be worthwhile when you finally get to that point where you can look back and laugh and most importantly...understand. For now...don't think so much (as best as you can), stay strong...persevere, have faith.

The People You Surround Yourself With Part 2

PART 1

So now that all the birthday shenanigans are done, I've finally had some good quality alone time to just digest everything you know. I've been hella unmotivated as of late lol...and thus, the blog has suffered greatly. I dunno...there just feels like a lot to do and nothing to do all at the same time. My birthday reminded me of how thankful and blessed I am to be surrounded by such wonderful people. People who have shaped me into the man I am today...people to motivate and encourage me to remain in difficult situations and to persevere. Whether it's a bad situation at work, school, church, whatever it may be...the people in that atmosphere have a significant impact on you and your longevity...meaning the length of time you stay at whatever it is. Take church for an example...people come and go...but I'm so blessed to have a solid group of guys and gals who keep me grounded, who add to my purpose and who lift me up when I fall down. I'm just really thankful to have people in my life I can go to for advice, for help, for comfort, for laughs...whatever it may be. People who I consider my brothers and my sisters. People who I may not see everyday, who I may not talk to everyday...but the bond that we have doesn't lessen or weaken...that's true friendship man. When y'all don't need to see or talk to each other for a period of time, but when you meet up...it's real love among y\all. I guess I've been kinda dealing with something that has made me think about those kinda things you know...not seeing or talking to someone for a period of time...it's a real test of the strength of the bond that y'all have. Yeah I dunno...that's just all I had to say for now...see y'all tomorrow.

25, What A Time To Be Alive

So uh...about those posts I owe y'all...and these past couple days with no posts...my bad lol, these past couple days have been hectic...haven't been sleeping much nor have I had much time to myself...been on the go and just constantly doing stuff. I'm a do my best to finish off May strong and crank outposts for y'all. Anyways...So I turned 25 two days ago...it feels...different lol. I really got a give a huge shout out to all my friends for surprising my on my birthday...it literally took me back to high school...those throwback parties you have at your house with like loot bags and stuff.I gotta give a HUGE shoutout to Y for organizing everything...and going out of your way to coordinate everything and remembering all the things that I like...you really are a true friend, words really can't express how thankful and appreciative I am of you. I went for dinner with my softball team after practice and they somehow drove hella fast, made it to my house and surprised me along with my boys...it was dope having my church friends and my boys all together, having fun and just chilling at my place. It was definitely a birthday I'll never forget...usually, it'd just be something simple like a dinner with y fam or my friends. This year was...amazing. We even set off the smoke detector because we used sparklers on the cake instead of candles and the paper caught fire LOOOL. What else...FAM I HAD A PINATA...all my life, that's been on my bucket list...the fact my homegirl actually came through with a pinata...geez, you a real one. What else...trays and plates of candy and chocolates because I have a sweet tooth. Balloons and decorations all over my house...and a couple of other surprises I won't mention...but literally surprised the HECK out of me LOOL. Definitely a birthday I won't forget...25, what a time to be alive. Yesterday was also a SUPER long day. Pretty much went on a road trip with my boy to help him with a project he was doing. It was dope...spending time with him for one, having good conversations and exploring as well...we went to like High Park, saw a zoo, went to Niagara Falls and saw a bunch of sights and also hit up Dundas Peak, hiked all the way up the mountain and got to see a beautiful view...but yeah, with that...thanks to all my friends...for everything. See y'all tomorrow...