How Do You Know When It's Time To Move On?

I know it's been a while, I know I've been gone, thank you for your patience with me.

How do you know when it's time to move on? Is it when you feel you aren't growing with them? Is it when you aren't happy and aren't feeling or seeing any joy around them? Or is it simply when you yourself just feel empty...like there's nothing left. When do you tell yourself, I think I've done all that I can do for you, If you remember Pokemon, I used to make fun of Ash for being so stupid and giving away all his pokemon...Charizard, Squirtle, Butterfree, Pigeot...I would always tell people he's so stupid for giving away all his pokemon. But now as I got older...I realized he gave them away because he knew that he had done all that he could do with them, that under him...they've grown as much as they possibly can, letting them go was letting them be free to grow on their own, to take on the next stage of life If names like Charizard and Squirtle don't mean anything to you...pretty much imagine a child growing up in his family. He doesn't stay with his family forever, he grows and learns and matures until he can't grow and learn and mature anymore under his parents...there comes a time where he must leave and go on his own to learn and grow and mature on his own, by himself, he must move on. Which brings me to my opening question...how do you know when it's time to move on? How do you discern between running away from your problems versus realizing you've done all that you can do and the best thing that you can do is to move on. Are you simply not moving on because something or someone is holding you back...obligation, responsibility, loyalty, what is it? One of the worst parts is when you try to think of a reason to stay (aside from the listed) and you can't. When you feel no love, no excitement, no purpose or direction...do you address it...or realize you've done all that you can do and the only thing left to do is move on. I know my thoughts are all over the place, I don't blame you if you don't understand where I'm coming from. My biggest thing right now is struggling with whether all this is temporary feeling or something permanent and lingering that's been developing for a while. Whether this is my own feeling and my own will and temptation to fall...vs God's will and his plan to open new doors for me.

Dear God

God you know my heart before I even speak, you know my struggles and my worries. I'm learning each passing day just how hard it is to give up everything and follow you. It's one thing to know you have a plan for me but it's another thing to have faith in it completely. God my heart's breaking for those around me...my brothers, my sisters...those here in Canada or overseas. I'm praying for so much love and strength their ways God. I know that you are so good and faithful, I pray you send constant reminders of how good you are and how wonderful your plan is. God I really pray for my brothers and sisters who are struggling, to find peace, to find purpose, to find hope, I pray they be led to you. God I pray for direction for myself...for peace and a sense calmness and comfort in this time of desert. God I pray you'll strength my brothers and sisters in their time of need and despair...that they'll look to you in tomes of trouble and of triumph and see goodness and see you and your glory. God I know you're there and I know you'll always come through. I'm reminding myself everyday that this journey, this race...is a tough one that will test my limits and hit me real hard...but I'm walking by faith, not by sight.

Is It Too Late Now To Say Sorry

I absolutely love this, saw it on Upworthy and it's totally true and I've recalled myself in every single one of these situations lol. It's crazy how powerful saying thank you can be...whether ordering food at a restaurant, walking through a door someone is holding for you or someone being there to listen to you rant after a long day. I think it's really about appreciation, people like being appreciative and it is nice to be appreciated. I really like this picture cuz now only does it hold true to real life, but it shows the power of appreciation and turning a negative situation into a positive one you know, Especially in asian culture for some reason, we're so quick to apologize for everything...which kinda plays into the stereotype of asian guys being shy, submissive and such. But yeah, take this post and reflect on it, see if you can pick out moments in your everyday life that you can fix and adjust. For me, I'm learning to appreciate everything in  my life...people things, surroundings...be thankful, be appreciative.

Fool Me Once, Fool Me Twice

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Shame on me for being an idiot...for telling myself things, but never really listening and adhering by it. Shame on me for always trying to convince myself that things are different, that this is genuine, that it's real. It is an weakness that we find strength...so I'm praying to find strength in this weakness. I'm such a fool...a sucker for love, a sucker for romance, for intimate conversations, for mutual interests, you name it. I let my guard down easily...tho I preach not to, I preach patience and cautiousness to others and to myself but it's hella hard to stick by it when push comes to shove and the situation is right in front of your face. J .Cole - I'm A Fool and Drake - Fall For Your Type pretty much sum up this situation...cuz I should know better, but I'm still a fool...yet I always fall for your type.

I think I'm too eager to fall in love so I jump in too fast
You think I'd learn from the mistakes that I made in the past
I know I'm grown but I'm still learning that this world's real cruel
Cuz I swear that I should know better, but I'm still a fool

Hello From The Other Side

Hello, it's me. What have I been doing, where I been, what have I been up to? I don't know really...I've been wandering...searching...for something...inspiration, purpose, encouragement, you name it. Way too much free time and not enough concrete things to fill it with. I've been praying for peace...not for anything specific other than that, but for me to have open ears and to take in whatever comes my way and just run with it. When you have this much free time, you can't help but think...about life, the things in it, the people in it...and your mood tends to shift hella drastically and very often I might add...it's been a weird, interesting, frustrating, relaxing period. I've been listening to a lot of music...I've been writing a lot...not like blog posts, but rhymes...it's been nice, relieving, fun. Again...with all this free time...my brain tends to wander...in a wide variety of directions...it;s cool, sometimes scary, but new and different...and sometimes that's good. It's all about perspective, am I right? Anyways, if you've read up to here and you're feeling confused, don't worry...so am I lol...goodnight.

I Hate Growing Up

So I told y'all this was a 2 part post, unrelated really...but this post and the previous post were both inspired by the same conversation I had with a friend. I think just talking with a lot of my friends in general...makes me really hate growing up...and what it does to everyone. I think back to my days in high school, how carefree things were...spending a whole Saturday watching TV or gaming with my friends...chilling with the boys. I think now...when I talk to my friends...things are so different...we're all over the place...Queens, Waterloo, Western...anywhere and everywhere. It sucks when I talk to my friends and we catch up and stuff cuz it makes me think about old times...which literally feel like yesterday...but also feel like an eternity ago. Everyone's just busy now doing their own things...even my friends who go to school in town...I hardly see them cuz they're so busy or they choose to stay downtown, growing up really takes a toll on you, on your life, on your priorities. I'm SUPER thankful for my one group of friends who I get to see pretty often because we're all in the same boat of being at home for school...taking a bit longer than usual...we get to chill quite a bit and I'm super thankful and appreciative for that. But just thinking about my other friends...how busy they are, how far away they are, how often I used to see them and how much things have changed...it sucks, seeing everyone slowly go their own ways, but I'm also happy for them too, seeing them succeed and achieve their goals and seeing all their hard work pay off. I guess I'm a sentimental guy...reminiscing on old, carefree times with the boys...goofing around, doing thing, having school work to do, but it wasn't that important or fun compared to chilling with the homies...I miss it, I hate what growing up has done to me, to my friends. As another year has come to an end and I become another year older...I become less of a kid, storing away my childhood for good and insert myself more and more into adulthood...picking up more and more responsibilities and more and more challenges that come along with it. I guess the one thing that I do know and am hopeful for is that even as we all grow older...most of us will still stay friends, keep in contact and still find time to hang out with one another. As discouraging as it can be to see your friends do their own thing, it makes me really happy to see them strive, work hard and hustle for their goals, their dreams and reap the benefits. As a friend, I just gotta be there to support, cheer them on and comfort them whenever they need me.

Once Upon A Time...

Hey friends, so I intended to post this yesterday, but I got lazy lol. So I guess you can consider this the first of 2 posts, they're not really related but they were inspired by the same conversation. I thought I'd start with this one and on a lighter note before I get into the heavy stuff lol. I was talking with a friend yesterday morning, you know who you are. It's crazy to think I've been doing this since 2009...those who have been with me then know how long of a journey it's been...those who've popped in here and there and read some posts here and there have glimpses into my life and the kinda person that I am. It's funny cuz I was talking to my friend and he was alike yo man, I can't wait for that post where you're like I've finally found the right girl, the one, he's like I'm rooting for you. It was quite funny actually lol...I was like dang...my life, this blog...is like a novel, a fairytale if you will...and I'm like the protagonist. You guys have seen me grow from a young boy...to I'd like to think...a man. You guys have seen me graduate high school...get into university...struggle stumble, improve, fail, conquer...and you're about to see me graduate university. For some of you guys, it's literally like a fairytale and some of you guys (hopefully) are cheering me on...rooting for the young protagonist to succeed...to conquer the quest, to get the girl, to reach that next level, whatever. It's really funny cuz I started thinking about it like that...once upon a time there was a young boy named Rodmond...and you guys have seen me go through so many obstacles, conquer so many battles and bosses in my life to get to the next stage, to level up, grow into a more mature person. It's really cool just looking back, I've been doing that a lot lately...looking back at old posts...my old struggles, my victories...how I used to view things and my ideals. All I really know now...is your young protagonist is still on this journey...I've made some friends on the way, I've lost some friends on the way...I've climbed over hurdles and mountains...I've tripped and fallen into ditches and holes...but I've always kept moving forward. Sometimes I've stopped, turned around to really take in how far I've come...but I never do that for long because I know there's still so much left to go, top explore and to see...my story is far from finished, there's still so much left to learn, so much room to grow and so much to do and achieve. I can't wait for my story to continue to unfold and for you guys to follow me on my journey and support and root for me in whatever way you do, thanks.