Travis Garland - Didn't Stand A Chance

"What you think of me conflicts what you feel for me."

Clearing My Plate...

So honestly...all I've been about lately is school, church, basketball and Breaking Bad lol...no gym, no friends...no nothing. Haven't had time for any of that. But things are getting better...had my first of two exams today and it was an hour and a half but I finished in half an hour. It was an essay on either Casablanca, Simpsons or Advertising in Media...I wrote on the Simpsons...so confident I killed it. What else...the combined program with my church and the church we're branched from is this Saturday...but I've had a sore throat for like 3 days...we had practice yesterday and it was kinda rough...sang pretty softly, but things are looking good so far. Got one class Thursday, church program on Saturday, exam next Thursday and I'm officially on Christmas break. Last Sunday was my last week of teaching Sunday school...so that's another load off my plate...practice for the Christmas program on the 21st has been going smoothly and I'm def happy about that cuz my friend and I have been pretty much dividing the load and I really appreciate that. But as of right now...it's clear sailing till Christmas and New Years...BUT...I kinda...haven't started the project at all for the 4th anniversary of the blog coming up...not sure if I'll finish it in time...but I really do wanna do it, it's just time management is hard...sorry.

Feeling The Stress

Def somewhat feeling overwhelmed as of late...got so many worship practices going on that it don't even remember which songs are from which set...and I barely have had any time to study for my test on Tuesday, good thing it's an essay and they're giving us 3 questions to choose from. After that my last exam is on Dec 5th and I'm free. Combined church program on Nov 30, what we've been practicing for...then Christmas program on Dec 21 where we perform again..but hopefully I'll feel better after Dec 5 when mostly everything is off my plate. Literally have had no time to myself or my friends...unless I play ball or see them at school...so I know I've been lackluster but at the same time you could always hit me up. I've just been in my own zone as of late...all this work, coordinating, planning and stress has got me feeling all types of ways...definitely very moody as of late...and the only thing really getting me through it is basketball and Breaking Bad...haven't even been consistent with my workouts. I've just been mad moody...but that's a topic for another day I guess.

Trey Songz - Holla If Ya Need Me

God's Grace

It's only by God's grace, mercy and love that I am here before you today...21 years of life, of family and friends who support and love me. You know right now is just a tough time with school and lots of planning and coordinating for church stuff...it's pretty stressful, then there's the personal things like friendship and family and stuff...but that's the ups and downs of life. As hard as life is...I'm so thankful to God for the simple things in life that I take granted sometimes...the simple things in my life...that others would see as blessings. God has guided me through and given me the strength and boldness to make it and be where I am today. And I know and am confident that he'll continue to be with me...even when I turn my back and close the door on him...he's always there. God I know I've been slacks lately...in prayer...in devos...and I know every single day you are trying to pull me back to you...and no matter how hard I resist, you never have and never will give up on me. I think about all the hardships in the past...and how at the time it seemed unbearable and the toughest time of my life...but I look at my life now and go that was nothing. So I'm confident that this will be the same...that all my stresses and struggles right now...I'll look back on it and won't even remember it lol.

Dear God

I'm scared God...of the future, of life, of being independent, of whether or not things will be okay. I know worrying is a lack of faith, so God...may you teach me to trust You, to trust in Your Word and most of all to trust in Your plan. God I know no matter how many times I fail you, disobey you, sin against you an go against your word...that you still love me and are with me. God you've always been there to guide me through tough and difficult times...and I know that'll never change. God give me the courage to boldy and confidently live my life glorifying you knowing that you will provide enough. God give me peace, surround me with your love and fill my heart with joy. Thank you God...for being so faithful and loving...always.

Lecrae - Hang On