Life Is Like A Video Game

Day 3/31

Wait what...an early post...how is life like a video game...you good bruh?

Well, I told y'all I'd make it up to you, so expect a post later on tonight as well, consider it my apology to you guys. So how is life like a video game? So I'm gonna give y'all 3 examples of games hoping you can relate to me in some sort of way. So first one, I know I always say I'm not a computer game, but I got this game called Age of Empires as a kid for my birthday and it was a dope game. Pretty much you build your own town (houses, castles, walls),and develop soldiers as well while also farming for gold, wood, food, etc for survival. So all this seems like hella work and lots of effort right...so I used to use cheat codes to speed up this process...people would build houses in like 2 seconds instead of the regular 2 minutes, I could automatically input gold, food, wood instead of farming it. And I could create any warriors on demand and even create these cars that shot bullets even tho it's a game about medieval civilization and cars weren't created yet. So every now and then, I'll play this game despite getting it for like my 13th birthday...it's fun for the first few rounds, winning and stuff...but then it gets repetitive, it gets boring, and I stop playing it. I then ask myself like yo what's the point of those cheat codes, it kinda kills the fun in the game. So now moving onto my second game, hopefully a more relatable one...Grand Theft Auto...if you tell me you've never played Grand Theft auto without using cheats...you're a liar...whether it's getting all the guns, getting the best cars, a jetpack, flying or decreasing stars...we've all done it. But to a certain point...doesn't that get boring as well...knowing that no matter how hard the game gets, how many cops are after you...you can just use cheats to get away or decrease the stars so no one's chasing you anymore. That's what makes the game fun...trying to complete missions while the cops are chasing you, that rush, that pressure and such...but when you have that ability to just stop the cops from chasing you at anytime...what's the point really. My last game, I'm gonna keep it short and simple...NBA 2K...game sliders...we've all done it at some point, just to see, just for fun, maybe to mess with our friend. But trust me that gets fun before the game's even over....I mean...making every shot...stealing the ball every time...half the fun is competing, testing yourself, with game sliders...it's like okay, I know everything's going in, I can just play with any team and use any player.

So y'all still following me? In life...a lot of the times, I don't know about you...but I WANT the cheat odes. Life is so hard sometimes...wouldn't be SO NICE to have cheat codes in certain situations. Knowing EXACTLY what to say to get the girl or guy, knowing EXACTLY what to say in a job interview, knowing EXACTLY what to say to sell something to a client. Don't you feel it would take way from life...in the same way cheat codes take away the fun and sometimes the purpose of the video game. Having the cheat codes to life would mean...any girl/guy, any job, any THING in life...and it kinda makes me ask myself what's the point in living...there's no growth, no failure, no learning...because you know the outcome. I know life gets hard sometimes...a lot of the times. But that's what makes it worth living y'feel? Someone told me that uncertainty is a part of life. The next step...there's always uncertainty. That hit me really hard...no matter what you do, once you jump over one hurdle, there's another one waiting for you. Uncertainty, tests, obstacles, hurdles...are all a part of life...it's what pushes us, helps us grow, teaches us, shapes us and makes us (hopefully) better people. So yeah, that's just what I wanted to share with y'all right now...see you in a bit.

Go With The Flow

Day 2/31

Yep, I know, I know, I missed yesterday...I owe y'all one, remind me. Today I was reminded that sometimes you just gotta go with the flow. I\m gonna bring back that illustration of me being tuck in a boat in the middle of the ocean...sometimes you just gotta let the waves take you, y'feel? Especially when you have no sense of where you're going. Sometimes, you to plan out a situation down to every little thing you say or do...and when one thing doesn't go your way, it ruins the entire plan. Sometimes, you just gotta play what you're dealt...go with whatever the situation is, be flexible, be adaptable. Sometimes, it's easy to get hyped or too confident about a situation and a lot of the times, that's when life will hit you and be like yo chill out...anything can happen. One thing I've learned through much experience is that when you get too confident and too cocky about a situation going a certain why, life will throw you a curve ball to keep you on your feet and see how you react. A lot of the times I'll be like yeah, /I got this situation all figured out, piece of cake...then things will change in an instant...and that's kinda made me adopt the go with the flow mentality. Tho sometimes, it slips my mind...in any and every situation, you have to be ready to adapt or be ready for change...just because you think something is going to happen a certain way doesn't mean it will. In anything, whether school...work...friendships...relationships...life...nothing will ever go exactly how you plan it, you need to be able to adapt and be flexible to bend to whatever the situation calls for. So that's kinda where I've been at lately...much appreciated to the homie BCK for the reminder. Look out for 2 posts in one of the upcoming days since I missed yesterday's...see y'all tomorrow.

Doing Things For Yourself

Day 1/31

As promised, we back...for a full month, then who knows how long I'll go away for LOL nah I'm joking...somewhat. Thanks for always sticking with me, but let's get to what you're really here for lol. So if you know me...you'll know I don't sleep in my room, for one...there's clothes all over my bed, two...my bed's a twin side bed, so it's hella small and I like roll around when I sleep. So I sleep on a sofa bed in the basement cuz it's cold downstairs and I like it.Anyways, so like a couple of weeks ago, my sofa bed kept creaking...like any little bit of movement and it would creak constantly and it was so annoying...especially since I move around a lot when I sleep. This happened for a good like 2 days and I'm like frick...am I gonna have to deal with this for the rest of my life? So one night, I was like ALRIGHT...let's take off the mattress and try to figure out what's wrong...taking off the mattress from the bed was a mission in itself cuz it was hella heavy. So after doing that, I saw that a couple of the bars on the sofa bed frame was like out of proportion and that's why it was creaking so much, so I like moved them back in place and screwed them on tightly, put the mattress back on and BOOM..NO MORE CREAKING. Bro...the amount of satisfaction and pride I felt for myself was amazing LOL. This reminded me of a Boy Meets World episode where Cory and Topanga move out and have their own place. Their tap is spewing out like dirty water instead of clean water...so Cory goes to his parents house and goes oh yo, can we move back in...and his dad keeps saying no, we can't help you with this one, you gotta figure it out for yourself. So naturally, Cory and Topanga get pissed, it's like yo you're our parents why aren't you helping us? It gets to a point where they're hella disheartened and sitting in their nasty apartment with the dirty water. Cory's still trying to fix the pipes and he gives up and turns the tap on...looking at the water in disappointment...then it suddenly turns clear and he realizes he's fixed the pipes. First thing he does is go to hi parents to brag that they fixed the pipes and his parents go oh look, they fixed the pipes...they did it on their own. Essentially the parents were like yo, now that you're a man, married, we're not always gonna be here for you, and we wouldn't wanna take away that opportunity for you to learn, grow and do things for yourself. So going back to the whole sofa bed thing...when it comes to these kinds of things...my first instinct, as I'm sure a lot of your guys' first instincts would be to call your parents for help. But they aren't always gonna be there for you...you're eventually gonna have to learn how to do things on your own and take care of yourself. The first time I like went to the doctors by myself, made my own dinner or fixed something by myself...I felt so much self satisfaction...knowing that I could do it, that I could take care of myself...it's a feeling you can't explain until you actually do something for yourself. So yeah, I just kinda wanted to share that...cuz my little sofa bed situation really hit me hard you know...it made me feel really good to figure out a problem and solve it by myself without anyone's help...as I'm sure it's the same for you. See y'all tomorrow.

Let's Talk

Hey, it's been a while, too long...I've been uh, occupied. Anyways, I'd like to think I'm an optimist, I'm a big proponent of everything that happens, happens fora reason. That the things you go through...are meant to serve to help you grow or learn in some sort of aspect. Whether good or bad...I have faith that in the end, everything kinda just works out for the best. I'm somebody who gets lost in emotions, in the moment...and I need to constantly be reminded to chill out...relax and just let things take it's course. People complain about me that I'm too chill, that I don't take things seriously enough...funny enough the people who know me best know that I take some things TOO seriously and need to chill the heck out lol. My brain and especially my heart have just been all over the place lately...it's like I'm in a boat...paddling hella fast, but I'm not really sure where I'm going, but I'm just paddling. At this moment, I'm really thankful for my friends and family who bring me back down to earth when I'm waaaaay too hyped up on emotions. When you're fully invested into something, you really do have tunnel vision...and you fail to see the biggest picture, or any other picture for that matter aside from what's in front of you. In circumstances like these, I'm thankful for my friends and family to slap me back to reality and remind me of the bigger picture...that whatever is in front f me is not the end all be all. I just wanted to take this time to thank two of my friends for giving me some advice when I really needed it. Sometimes, you're going through things and it feels like you can't talk to some people. I'm thankful for these 2 guys, giving me very differing advice but each impacting me in different ways. It's interesting because for one friend, I went in with the intention of just venting and now it's to the point where I just tell him anything I'm feeling about this entire situation, it's jokes cuz HE'S hella chill...for the most part at least lol. My other friend...whom I spoke to today...I wasn't really looking for advice tbh, I was sharing with him what had happened...and it turned into a lengthy conversation where he hit me with some hella deep stuff and shared some of his own personal struggles...I KNOW this is God's work cuz I literally walked in this morning with the intention of finding somebody to talk to and get some advice from...and he just kinda filled that for me...so thanks to my two homies for being there for me. But yeah...where has the time gone...sorry for being so ghost. With April coming to an end...and May right around the corner...I feel I owe y'all...May is a very special month...my birthday, my brother's birthday, mother's day...so to heck with it...I'm gonna do by very best to put out a post EVERY DAY for the month of MAY....BARS, see you then, PEACE OUT.

Playing The Cards You're Dealt

Hey guys, sorry for being so mia...I feel like I've got so much going on atm and so many other things that I'm focused on right now that aren't the blog. I'll catch you up all in due time...I've just been really sidetracked and focused on a lot of other things.

"Searching for it all my life but always came up empty handed
It's funny things don't ever seem to happen how you planned it"

This is a line that came to mind, it's something I wanted to build on and eventually finish...and I might, but I can't right now, my brain's hella exhausted. But you know what this line reminds me of...in high school...and even now I guess...I used to love playing cards. But I mean in high school especially that's a big chunk of what I did at lunch in the cafeteria...playing like big 2 or president. Games like those...you gotta play with the hand you're dealt. Sometimes, you're dealt a super dope hand where all you gotta do is play the cards properly and you're good, but you can still lose. Other times, you're dealt a hella bad hand and winning seems difficult...but it's not impossible, with some strategy, you can still win. That's kinda where I'm at at the moment in my life...dealing with what life gives me...because everything's not gonna be exactly how you want it or expect it, you just gotta play with the cards that you're dealt. You win some, you lose some...but there's always another game...I know this might not apply to every single situation or circumstance...but it's kinda what's been hitting me as of late with a couple of situations in my life...it's easy to be like yeah my hand sucks, I wish I had this, I can't do nothing with this hand...or you can look at ways you can turn your 'bad' hand into a positive. Again, I know I'm being pretty vague right now...and I also know I've been gone for a while...I've just had a lot of things on my mind lately...it's been weighing me down, but yeah...I hope you've been well, thanks for sticking with me, see you soon, peace.

Emotional Investments

You know that saying oh I wear my heart on my sleeve, I think something I've learned about myself...something I've kinda always known but am finally seeing how big of a thing it is in my life is that I wear my heart on my sleeve very visibly and very boldly. I've been told I have a very straight face and I look very unapproachable, rbf is what they call it. But once you get to know me...simply put, I'm hella emotional LOL. One thing I know about myself is I get emotionally invested in people, things...mostly people...very quickly and if the vibe is right, if we gel, if there's chemistry...I'm gonna invest a lot of myself in you, even if we've just met. I think that's one reason why it's kinda hard for me to let things go, to let people go...friends, exes...it's hard for me to come to terms that oh we're not as good friends as we were before...or like cutting off my exes completely....it's just something I can't do. It's like hoarding to the extreme...I mean like I like keeping all my birthday cards, the letters from my ex, saving all my text messages from old phones, msn conversations. I think emotions are a really important thing to me...and it's also a weakness of mine...cuz I get emotionally invested too quickly and sometimes it's either not reciprocated or I end up regretting it cuz it wasn't what I expected you know. I dunno, it's something I love about myself but it's also something I hate about myself cuz I know it drags me down sometimes...but it also allows me to connect with people on a real deep and personal level. It's hard man...something about my personality can't help but value people's relationships and that intimate connection and bond with people you know. I love hearing people out, I love when someone feels that comfortable with you to be so open and honest...and vice versa, when someone listens to you with open ears and open hearts and you know they're really listening to care and to hear and not to judge. But yeah...I dunno, just something I've been thinking about as of late...so yeah...till next time, peace.

Awkward Third Wheeling & The Worst Rejection

Why does it feel like it's been a while since I spoke to y'all lol...thought I'd hit you guys with something a little light hearted. So here's two pretty funny stories...

This one comes in like my second year of university or something like that...my boy and I took this one business class together. We saw our other friend int he class but he would never sit with us cuz he would always sit with his girlfriend. So he had always told me that they argued a lot. so one day my boy doesn't go to class, so it's just me...my friend and his girlfriend go oh let's just sit beside each other...I'm like yeah sure. He's like yeah she's kinda mad at me so uh, how about you sit beside her...I'm like bruh, I don't know her. So we're walking to our seats, she goes into the aisle first, this guy like shoves me into the aisle so I end up sitting between her and him...and the whole time she's like trying to talk to him, leaning over me, so I'm like leaning back so they can talk...but he's like trying to avoid her at the same time so I'm just like bruuuh...occasionally I would turn to her and be like so...how's it going LOL. So come exam time...my boy takes the bus home, I decide to get a ride with my friend and he goes ohh, I have to drive my girlfriend too...I'm like uh...yeah sure that's cool I guess. Bruhh, take in they start having an argument while I'm in the backseat, they're like full on yelling at each other...and he's like RODMOND, don't you think she's being unreasonable...and I'm like uhhh...I wasn't really listening LOL. After that, never got a ride from him ever again.

This one comes in like elementary school and it still haunts me to this day LOOOL. So I was like in grade 8, pretty sure I've told this story to some of y'all. I liked this really cute asian girl...after talking to my friends and talking to myself...I'm like alright, I'm gonna ask her to the dance. So I called her (cuz that was a thing)...I'm like sitting in my bed in the dark, nervous as heck...her parents pick up...oh hello, may I please speak to ____, she picks up...casual talk, how's it going, here and there...so, about the dance coming up...I uh...I was just wondering if you wanted to go with me...what felt like the longest pause of my life...she goes, yeah sure, that's cool...dope, alright...I'll uhh, see you tomorrow. I hang up the phone and start flipping out on my bed...my mom walks past me like jumping up and down on my bed in the dark and she's like bruh what're you doing...so the next day...I walking through the halls like I'm the mannnnn, I see her walking towards me and I smile, thinking to myself ayyyyy, that's my date. She goes hey, can I talk to you? FELLAS....like 84* of the time, when you hear that...RUN, RUN AND DON'T LOOK  BACK...LOOOL, nah but forreal, usually...that ain't a good thing. She goes um...about the dance, I kinda forgot I had already said yes to ____, so I don't think I can go with you, I'm sorry...ohhh, truuee, haha...it's cool, no worries...she walks away and like my heart sinks, it felt like I had eaten a full meal and got punched in the gut....I kinda stood there for a second like, dang....what just happened? So anyways...after that, I like avoided her any chance I got and she ended up going to a different high school and moving to a different country LOL...as for the guy...yeah I still hold it against him to this day LOOOL...nah jokes, he's aight....frickin guy...LOOOL