Going Separate Ways

Sometimes in relationships, in friendships, sometimes things just don't work out. Timing can be wrong, people grow apart, people change or people are on different paths or phases of their life...and that's okay. It's weird cuz I feel like I kinda see that in a lot of my past friendships and even some current ones...no matter how hard you try to reach out or talk to people, sometimes, y'all are just going in different directions, it doesn't mean you can't be friends, it just means...well I dunno what it means, but it's different, y'all start to talk or chill less, it affects you less, you think about it less...that's like tho, I've come to accept the necessity to go through growing pains and this is one of those things. Friends or partners growing apart just cuz of all those reasons, being in different phases, going in different directions, just poor timing...and to a certain extent it's unavoidable just cuz everyone goes through different things in their lives at different times, so we all experience different stages of life at different points. But I do have hope that I will cross paths with the people that I'm meant to...that despite going in different directions, we'll eventually find our ways back to each other, in due time and if it's meant to be.

Let The Good Times Roll

Like I said, it's been a real hectic time as of late. Very stressful, somewhat disappointing, definitely exhausting...been saving this post since today is throwback Thursday, but also cuz it took a while to compile all these photos. Was going through my phone and my computer and found a bunch of photos that just made me really happy...so here's a throwback to some real happy times, I wanted to include so many more, but ain't nobody got time for that LOL, thanks for the memories.

 

To My Friend...

If this ever reaches you and you read these words, know it comes from a place of respect, admiration, thankfulness and appreciation. Never in my life would I thought I would have become friends with a teacher, let alone close friends (I'd like to consider at least). In our 10+ years of friendship, I've gotten to know you as a person, but it's been through these several months that I have gotten to know you as a friend. It's been super cool talking to you on a personal level, thank you for confiding in me your struggles and problems. Thank you for listening to me and continuing to teach me even though I'm not your student anymore. Thank you for having so much faith in me as a person and as a hopeful teacher. Most of all, thank you for believing in me as much as you do, especially when I haven't been believing in myself as of late. Thank you for encouraging me in a discouraging and disappointing times and thank you for offering to help me in any way possible just being there and knowing you support me and believe in my dream is sufficient. It means the world to me knowing you have so much faith in me and think so highly of the potential teacher that I may become. Thank you for continuing to teach me even after many years of being out of your class...for teaching me about life, growing pains, transitions, change, relationships and being a man. I really value you a a person, a friend, a role model, a teacher and someone I can look to for guidance and advice. If these words never reach you, that;s okay because our growing relationship and conversations are evidence of how much we value each other as friends. Thanks for always believing in me, truly.

Thank You For Everything

It's been a hectic time as of late, but on a really, really bright, heartfelt note...this is a thank you to my friends for giving me encouraging words and never letting me give up. BUT ALSO, this is a thank you to my friends for confiding and sharing their own problems with me, for trusting me. It's kinda like when you're married, you should still tell your wife you love her, she knows it, but it's nice to hear it once in a while. Same with your friends, they know you care and appreciate them, but it's nice to be told once in a while, so I've been trying my best to make sure my friends know I deeply appreciate them...for being there to hear me out, but also for having so much trust in me to confide their problems and secrets. Y'all know it's rare that I use names or blatantly point people out...only during particular instances, and I feel this is one that warrants it. Seriously, if you're reading this right now...tell your friends how much you appreciate them...being there for you and feeling comfortable enough with you to be so open and honest at the same time. It's been a rough couple of weeks...but thank you to the homies for simply being there, which I consider one of the most important qualities as a friend...please don't take offense if you weren't listed, it's not a competition, it's just thje people who were there for me as of late and have shared with me as of late...thank you, I appreciate you...DR, LW, TC, IM, BT, OO, HT, NW, CC, DC, AA.

Growing Pains Part 2

Part 1

Man I feel like life is hitting me all at once, it's crazy to think just a week or even two weeks ago I was relaxed, chilling and taking life one day at a time. But it's crazy that things can change literally in an instant. In the span of like a week, life just hit me in the face with the bunch of things and tossed a bunch of things on my plate. It's annoying, but I know it's necessary, it's growing pains...I and a lot of my friends are at a weird age, a weird phase of life...the transition from being a kid to an adult. We're not really kids anymore, but we're not really full fledged adults...but the transition is tough and it cmes with so much baggage and new obstacles. I know this is life and it's all part of it...but man I'm really struggling right now...mentally at least, there's so much on my mind, so much to say...so mny things that AREN'T being said. I've been really blessed as of late to have many encouraging conversations and meet ups with a bunch of people...who have been steering me on the right track and just offering me lots of encouragement and giving their perspectives and opinions which I respcet and appreciate. It's a really weird time right now...not to mention that my heart hasn't really been in the blog lately...like I still have so many posts lined up, but I'm not feeling it you know, so I'm not motivated to write about it. I'm legit trying my best to take things one step at a time...it's hard tho, lemme tell you that. But I have hope...and I know God has my back.

Dear God

I've been going back and forth for a good couple of hours with what to talk about today, with how to approach this, but in my heart of hearts I know this is the right way. God, everything is for you...and for your glory. Failures, conflicts, problems...are all tests of faith meant to produce perseverance. God I'm praying for myself and a whole lot of others...for peace...of mind and of heart. That any conflict and burden in our heart is because we truly care and love one another. God I know you have a plan and a purpose for all things...and I'm truly looking forward to one day looking back at this and laughing and being in awe of how good and great you are. I'm praying for transparency, for honesty...but all done in love and with the right intent. There's so much to say, there's so much going on...but I know that you have it all under control...and I'm 100% confident that you will come through like you always do. I really pray for peace and understanding along the way...but for most importantly everything that is said and done to be out of love and because we really care for one another. I know you will give me the right words to speak and you will provide the right timing for everything. I'm walking my faith God...playing the background because I know that I get in the way sometimes.

When One Door Closes...

When one door closes, another one opens right? When God shuts down something you had planned, it's cuz he has something better in store for you, right? Frick, it's so tough...knowing these things, knowing God has a plan for me, knowing that everything he does is for my good whether I know it or not. But when push comes to shove, it's hard putting your money where your mouth is. I don't really know how I feel right now...very pessimistic that's for sure...discouraged, frustrated, disappointed. You expect, want and hope for something so dearly and pray for it constantly...but it gets shut down...time and time again...you start to wonder if maybe this is the door you're meant to walk through. That just cuz it's something you want or think is meant for you doesn't mean it's what God has planned for you. The future is such a scary thing and I feel like I'm at an age where literally "the future is now". God, I don't know what to do...I'm struggling to find purpose...struggling in trusting and waiting for the plan that you have for me. I'm staring at the tattoo on my arm right now...the words I CHOSE to have on my body as a reminder to myself everyday...that the testing of my faith produces perseverance...I'm praying and hoping that this test, this trial, this hurdle I'm stumbling through right now will only serve to help me grow as a man and as a child of God. Despite having a plan for myself, I know you have something greater planned for me, whether that coincides with my plans for myself or not...I'm not asking for you to reveal what those plans are, it doesn't matter...I'm praying for faith through EVERY circumstance I'm thrown in that might cross with my plans. I'm praying that through every failure, rejection, stumble and fall...that my faith in you will only grow stronger and you will ultimately be glorified in all these things.

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9