God, You Are So Good

An early post wow...I just woke up...and God has really been speaking to me as of late...none more clearer than this morning, sitting in my bed going through my phone. I decided to finally go through the passage my friend recommended me to read...Hebrews 12...and that in itself was eye opening...mentally, emotionally and physically. I'd like to share it with you guys. The title is called God Disciplines His Children.

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. 4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. 12 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13 “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Hebrews 12:1-13

After waking up, the song Blessings by Laura Story came to mind...which brought me to this video that brought me to tears. She said so many things that hit me so hard...."there is something in your life that hasn't worked out the way you thought it would, something that you've prayed that God would fix and for some reason, He's seemed to have left it broken for now." Her words literally touched my heart...she mentions when God speaks to you in that little voice directly to your heart..."what if the healing is a process, what if it's a long road that involves more sleepless nights that you ever imagined, involves more faith that you ever thought yourself capable of, will you still give me all the glory?" Her response was that she's learning to say yes..and I guess I'm in the same boat...to understand that faith can really move mountains...her last words before the song starts is what brought me to tears after it all..."just because I don't understand God's plan doesn't mean he isn't a good and faithful God with a good and perfect plan.

Don't Let Me Hold You Back

I'm a very home oriented person...which explains why I stayed at home for university. I never like going on vacations for very long...I don't like being away from family or friends. Some people's ideal summer vacation may be to go on vacation and travel all summer...my ideal summer is chilling with my friends and family everyday...going on food adventures, playing board games and enjoying each other's company. It baffles me how some people can be so quick to drop everything and travel the world...family, friends, home...but I guess their sense of adventure and tourism is just that strong. I get pretty discouraged sometimes when I talk to close friends and they're like man I get wait to get out of Toronto and move to like New York or Hong Kong or something...cuz in my head it's like I'll never see them again. Call it selfish lol cuz my ideal future is like getting married with kids...staying in Toronto and like still chilling with all my friends and stuff. To know that some of my friends may leave Toronto and such is a bit discouraging for me being so home, family and friend oriented. But then again it's not up to me to be like stay and be with me forever lol...people got hopes, dreams, ambitions and the whole world out there for them. But then again that's life right...people come...people go, people stay...people leave. So as much as I'd like to have all my friends and family by my side forever...I sadly know that won't be the case...and I feel like with each waking day, I'm slowly preparing myself for that day...to perhaps have to say goodbye to close friends...people I've known all my life, people I care about extremely...but that's life...and it moves on...so I gotta too.

God's Plan vs My Plan

Man this is so frustrating...when things seem to be finally going good...after finally clearing my plate, the waters are looking calm, clear sailing ahead...God's gotta throw a wrench into my plans. Dang this sucks...I've been reminding myself every minute of everyday that everything is happening for a reason...the testing of my faith is producing perseverance inside of me, but man it's so hard. It's not even getting everything that I want exactly...I really do trust in God\s plan for me...but dang...sometimes it gets frustrating how hard, unpredictable and such it is and can be...but that's where faith comes in I know...dang...I\m reminded of this picture tho...

PS: Pray for me...that I'll stay the course, as hard and as long as it may be...as many trials, hurdles and detours I gotta go through...to keep my eye on the finish line and trust God.

In The Lonely Hour

If the title sounds familiar, that's because it's also the title of Sam Smith's album. I don't know where these moods or thoughts come from, they just kinda do lol. I'm a weird kinda guy...some moments, I love and prefer being around people...could be anybody, could be close friends...other times, I prefer to be by myself...this is one of those times. I like to just sit in my own silence...over the years I've grown very comfortable with silence...whether in groups or whatever...I see people panic or just get very uncomfortable with silence...I enjoy it...sometimes I crave it cuz crowds can get pretty hectic. This is one of those moments where I crave alone time...silence...to just sit by myself. Like how I'm feeling right now is I kinda wanna just go on an island by myself and just lie down and watch the ocean...watch the waves go by...watch the sun rise and set. It's a nice and needed break every now and then from everything...not to say everything in my life annoys me...but sometimes it's nice to turn yourself completely off, shut down and just think about...nothing. Then again...this is called in the lonely hour...cuz it'll pass...in an hour or so...probably lol.

How Do You Know When It's Over?

I know it's been a while...exam season, what can I say lol...exam tomorrow and last one Sunday night. This is a post that I've avoided for a bit...just cuz there's so much to say but I'm not sure how to put it into words you know. To be honest when I first thought of this topic...I was thinking specifically of friendship...but this can apply to a whole lot of things. How do you know when something is over...how do you know when a friendship is over...when a relationship is over...is it when you've stopped thinking about it? Is it when you've 'moved on'? Is it when that person is no longer in your life? What if that person comes back...what happens then? I stopped taking math in grade 11...in my head I was like it's over...I'm never gonna have to deal with anything like this ever again...and here I am 6 years later taking a stats course. There's this one girl in my life who I've told myself it's over way too many times to count...but somehow every time I see her I get butterflies, old feelings re-emerge and I question myself...is it really over? How do you know when something is over...say you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend and you're past the breakup stage...it's been a couple months, you're good, hanging out, dating again...your ex comes and says they want you back and all these thoughts and feelings come swirling into your head...when and where do you draw the line...how do you know when it's over? When you're playing a video game, it's over when you lose and it says game over...that is until you decide to restart and play the game over again. In school...the day is over when the bell rings and the last class finishes. At work...it's over when your shift is over and you go home. Certain things in your life are set...you know when they start and you know when they finish...sometimes, you get chances to restart and redo something and even though it's over, it's not really over. I started thinking specifically towards friendships like I said at the beginning...how do you know when it's really over? How do you know it's not just on hold...or on a very long break? I've had friendships I thought were over...we literally didn't speak for months...these are close, best friends I'm talking about...but it turns out it wasn't over...we were just on a break...on hold. Then there are the friendships that you think are over...and guess what, they really are over. But how do you KNOW when it's over is what I'm asking...is it when you've stopped thinking about them...is it when someone else has filled the place they used to hold...is it when you've stopped talking to them completely and say removed their number from your phone...or...is it when you see them...and feel absolutely nothing...all the moments you shared, all the times you spent together...is irrelevant, you see them and you feel absolutely nothing for them or for what you used to be...they're merely a stranger...someone that kinda looks familiar...but not really.

Tell Me About Yourself

So you guys know way too much about my life...lol...one thing that is always in the back of my mind is I wish I knew who you guys were...reading my posts, visiting my blog. Like I wish I could have a meet and greet LOOOL...tho no one would come probably. The biggest thing that is probably on my mind is all you people who read my blog and aren't from Canada...so this post...is my attempt, hopefully to try to get you guys to let me know about yourselves. Kinda like when youtubers be like...post in the comment if this or that.

All my international viewers....where're you from...how'd you even find out about this blog...why do you keep coming back lol...leave a comment, it'd be greatly appreciated.

For everyone else...who are you...well you don't have to state a name I guess if you want it to be anonymous lol...do we know each other...how'd you find out about this blog...why do you keep coming back?

I legit don't expect much response...if any...but I'd be super excited if there was...I mean c'mon, it's harmless and anonymous lol...I just wanna gauge who I'm talking to you know...are you like a 16 year old teen....a 20 something year old like me...a grown adult? These things interest me you know..especially the international viewers again...how the heck did you find me lol...but yeah, be bold, leave a comment!

What Do You Really Think Of Me?

People are gonna have their opinions...positive and negative...the worst you can do is let it affect you...and make it your objective to act, talk or dress so people will have positive perceptions of you. You'll never truly know how people really perceive you...even your closest friends. Sometimes my friends will say things about me like yo...you're this or you're that...and I'm like really? Wow I never knew you saw me like that. People are gonna have their opinions...whether they know you or not. Someone can walk past you on the street and automatically have a solid idea of what kinda person they think you are based on how you look, dress, walk or simply how you look in their eyes. What I'm trying to say is just do you...this is especially important for you kids still in high school...I say these words directed to you because I've been there...I've been that kid who does things to be liked, to be accepted, to be looked at a certain way...it ain't worth it. Changing yourself...not liking things you do like...liking things you don't like...doing things you don't wanna...not doing things you wanna...because you're scared of how people will perceive you...do you. This blog...over the years...has taught me to be comfortable and confident with who I am...flaws and all...embarrassing and stupid stories and all. Couple of my friends always tell me that they admire me being so honest and open on my blog...thank you...but that's just something I've learned in time...this blog has made me comfortable in my own skin...mentally and physically...I'm not ashamed to say that this girl broke my heart or I did something stupid or I failed some grades or whatever...that's me...that's my life. I'm not gonna lie to make a good story or so people will think my life is interesting. Do you for you...nobody else. This is especially true and a constant reminder for me when it comes to this blog and quote unquote popularity and the numbers...yeah it's nice looking at the stats on my blog...seeing how many people have seen particular posts or visit per day...but that's whatever...that stuff is trivial...it won't last...and that's something I gotta remind myself of every single waking day...to invest in the things and the people that will last and that are worth it.