Happiness in Contentment

I told y'all how life has been so peaceful as of late...so drama-free...and I've been feeling so good as of late...so happy...so content. People always like to ask me what's up with the mindset that something has to be up, that something has to be wrong lol. But legit...I've been having such a relaxed mindset as of late...not carefree...cuz I still have things on my plate...but it's more the mentality and attitude in which I approach 'stressful\ situations. Like as of late...studying...as time consuming as it is...I just do it, no complaints you know. Going into and walking out of tests...I feel very relaxed...very calm. Though I'm busy with school, tryna graduate, things of the sort...it hasn't been like overwhelming me you know...I've still been very peaceful...borderline carefree lol. Like today in my exam...I was sitting there...very peaceful...cuz in my head...I thought...whatever happens happens...I prayed the day before and right before my exam...I asked God for peace...that whatever happens happens. If fail...so be it...obv that's not the motive...but it's moreso...God, if I'm meant to go the wrong way...if I'm meant to stumble a bit...if I'm meant to take longer than I'd like to to get to my destination...so be it...it's all in your hands. And that's how I've been attacking life as of late...and it's been very peaceful...that with the addition of no real drama or nonsense in my life....has me at a real good place. Aside from the regular stresses of life which I've gotten used to cuz it's normal...my mindset has been pretty good...approaching things easy and slowly...and it feels good...knowing schools' almost over...summer school around the corner. I shared this past Sunday how last summer waas super stressful....borderline more stressful than the school year lol...just cuz lots of things going on, fam, friends, drama...all that good stuff lol....this summer...I plan to make the most of it...like I always do lol...but really just have fun all the way through...this is gonna be one of the last summers before I'm done school...one more step closer to adulthood lol...but I thank God...cuz  life has been so calming as of late...so eye opening...but nice, and I'm happy.

This Is For You...

Two posts in one day? IT'S A PARTY IN THE U.S.A...wait I live in Canada...just said that cuz it rhymed lol...

Everyone has those friends on social media we don't talk to...we aren't really sure why we\re friends with them, why we follow them on twitter or instagram...you never like any of each other's activities anything. I\m reminded by this one friend who has a boyfriend who has a sister that is my age and went to the same high school as me. When she asked if she knew who I was...she's like who? My friend was like....Rodmond, you're friends with him on facebook...she goes huh? Sees a picture and goes ohhhh....yeah I don't really know him. Which brought me to this post...and how there are SO many circumstances like that. Well for me...I'm pretty good with names and faces, so I have at least some memory or notion of who you are and who my facebook friends are. But it got me thinking like...when I share my blog links on facebook or twitter...there are some people who may never ever click those links...heck, there may be some people on my social media networks that have NO IDEA that I have a blog despite the fact that I spam your newsfeed every single day lol. It just made me think lol...facebook friends...twitter followers...how meaningless is that ish...I have like 800 or so friends on facebook...some people I know have THOUSANDS of friends of facebook...if I were to pick like 5 random names out of that hat...would they know who those people are? This post is called this is for you...because this is for you...my friends...who know who I am...who know of this blog...who've shared in my experiences, my joys, my struggles, my triumphs and my failures. This isn't an arrogant perspective where I'm saying oh...too bad you'll never know me and how deep I am and how honest and ish I am or how big my blog is...heck no...this is more for you...who takes the time to read my blog post. This is for you...it always has been...sometimes I get too caught up in numbers like I always say...wishing it would reach the wide variety of facebook friends I have...but in all honesty who cares. My blog is there out in the open for you to view at your own discretion, if you wanna,,,I'd be happy and encourage you to take a thorough look, if not...s'all good lol, have a nice day.

Dreams and Nightmares

As of late I've been having weird dreams...like I've been waking up pissed off LOL. Like today for example, I woke up super pissed off, but I can't even remember what I dreamt about. Like immediately after you wake up, I've read that you forget like 60% or so of what you dreamt about and it only gets higher as fully wake up. So what I usually do is like if I wake up in the middle of the night like 3 or 4 am, I'll grab my phone and write down my dreams right away so when I wake up, I'll read it and be like OH YEAH, that's what I was dreaming about. For example, a couple days ago I wrote down this one dream I had where I was dating this one girl, we broke up and she was super pissed, so she like cut up all my clothes and stuff and drew on my shoes...and I was pissssssed lol. Another one...I recently finished watching Attack on Titan...so I dreamed about myself being like attack by titans and jumping from rooftop to rooftop trying to escape...so I woke up and I was like feeling nervous as heck lol. Another one which I told my friend about cuz it involved him...I dreamt that this guy we both don't like was talking ish about my friend, so I got mad and like started a fight with him in defense of my friend LOL. Trust people I've had some interesting dreams...ONE recurring dream that I've been having here and there is that I'm a contestant on the bachelor LOOOOL...I've never watched the show, but I know what it's about....so presumably, I'm on the bachelor and the potential girls are all people in my life that I know...whether met them once, acquaintances, peers, classmates or really good friends. I can never really remember FULL ON super details in my dreams...but I just know like, similar to the bachelor I'll go on dates with girls and have more chemistry and such with certain girls and have to eliminate girls as well LOL...legit tho I haven't gotten too far in that dream as to eliminate a bunch of girls...it's moreso me going on a bunch of dates with these girls and seeing if I have any chemistry and if there's any potential in them. Weird I know lol...

1/4

It's been 5 years and a bit...I always say I never really started putting my heart into this blog until 2011...but man it's still crazy looking back lol. I'm the kinda guy (a lot of people will attest to this) who likes to see both sides of the fence. So I'm the kinda guy who sees the cup as both half full and half empty and will try to justify both. Some of my friends HATE me for that LOOOL...they're always like just pick a damn side...but I like to try to see and understand both sides lol. That being said...as EXCITING as 250,000 is and as memorable as it is...I know it's just the beginning and I know there's still such a long way to go. As usual...I am super appreciative to all of you...without you, where would I be...forreal. Y'all are a good chunk of the engine that drives me to keep going...and I appreciate y'all. God is so good...through the good and the bad...he's always there...despite all the changes in my life...he remains the same...through it ALL...he's always there...this blog...as much as it is my life...it's also an EVERYDAY picture of how he is changing me to be more like him...from my attitudes, my perspectives, how I deal with things...everything...looking back...it's a reflection of the man I am today and am becoming as well. For you guys....I hope it's a refection of me as an individual...my faith...and my God and who he is to me and how he works in my life. Thanks for 250,000....here's to a million!!!!

Album In Stores Now

I was thinking to myself a couple days ago...while thinking about how I had barely posted in March. I thought to myself, posting on this blog is a lot like releasing an album. You know when you download an album...you listen to it thoroughly and say there's like 15 songs on the album but you only like 7 of the songs, you'll most likely delete the songs you don't like from your itunes. Once in a while you'll find an album where you legit like EVERY SINGLE SONG on the album...for me atm, it's Sam Smith's In The Lonely Hour album. Blogging is like that in a sense...where I'll write posts...and sometimes people won't like it or people won't find it interesting. Which is why sometimes I'll go a long time without posting...because as a writer...as an artist...your goal is to make every post or every song you like a hit...you want your audience to like every single thing you put out. Which is why sometimes I take a while to put stuff out...cuz I don't wanna just put out random words just for the sake of it...if I'm going to put something out...I want it to be my best and I want people to like it. Like Drake when he was reflecting on his Thank Me Later album...he said he knew it wasn't his best work because he had rushed it...and that his next album Take Care would be better cuz he got to put more time and effort into it. That's where my mentality has been as of late...yeah I may put out 10 posts in a month...but I'd hope those 10 posts were of quality, effort and heart you know. Don't get me wrong though...if I went like a couple months without posting, people would be like wtf...which is why I do understand once in a while...I have to put something out just for the sake of putting something out...even if I don't want to, have nothing on my mind, or know it's not my best. As a writer...a rapper...an artist...whatever you wanna call it...I'll look back to old posts sometimes and be like wtf was I talking about or dang, why did I put that out lol...well I guess it's also all about evolution right and improving.

Dear God

Late night talks...late night thoughts...God, whatever your plan is for me, I trust you. Whether it may take longer than expected...my life is in your hands. Guide me in whatever path you see fit...whether that means going down the wrong path and having to turn around and start over...or having many roadblocks in my path, I have faith you will guide me through all circumstances. God the fear of failure is scary...it holds me back...it makes me play things very safe and comfortable...because it's easy. God, if I fail...if I make mistakes...if I stumble...remind me that you are always there to catch me...to be there for me to lean on. The real world is a scary place and it's literally just over the hill...I can see it, I'm almost there...I don't feel ready, but you tell me I am...this what you've prepared me for my whole life.,.God I trust you with all of my plans and all of my goals and my hopes and my dreams. I know you'll come through...I have this confidence because you always have...and I know you always will.

March Madness

This post has nothing to do with college basketball...unfortunately, like I know nothing about college basketball lol. What's a Jahlil Okafor? The only Okafor I know is Emeka...only basketball fans will get that. Any ways...the March Madness I'm talking about is my school going on strike and me having pretty much a month off...or me only posting 10 times in the month of March....YET you guys still showing my a SURPRISING amount of love by making March 2015 the most viewed month in this blog's HISTORY. The most viewed month previously was July 2012...with 8905 hits..March 2015, despite me posting a sub par 10 times...accumulated 15482...this blog was viewed 15482 times in the month of March...even tho I barely posted...lol...what happened...dang. But yeah, I'm sorry, March was hectic with my school being on strike...I still tried to stay on top of my readings and stuff, but for the most part it was a real slow month...constantly checking updates, my email and stuff...worried about graduation, summer school and all that. I did have a lot of posts lined up...but a my attention was much elsewhere. But life has been good...surprisingly...it's just been peaceful...like to paint a picture for you...imagine me just sitting in a boat by myself in the middle of the ocean...a fishing rod just danging, waiting for a bite, even tho I don't fish...and it's just mad quiet...it's just been a nice little while...quiet is the way I would describe it...sometimes lacklustre, lacking a purpose...but it's been so calming and clearing for my head. Thanks for sticking with me...