Slow And Steady

For some reason I feel like it's been a really slow start to the year. Started off by getting sick, feeling just really tired/exhausted, my eyes being so bad that U have to get glasses. But it's more than that, I don't even really know what it is...well I kinda do, but I also don't really know how to talk about it. I've just been doing a lot of thinking...and this school year has been really slow, boring and lonely LOL. I've talked a few times about it with my friend and he's like maybe it's cuz you're only taking 2 courses this year. Maybe...I dunno, he's like you should join a club or something or try to meet some new people, maybe that'll change/help. Maybe...I dunno, I feel it's deeper than that. Like something's missing...my heart and my mind just feel so out of it, so out of everything...I don't even know how to put it into words lol. Something's missing/off with me...and I don't know what it is, definitely a rough start to the new year so far...

Faith

For some reason...as of late, the future has been a constant thought in the back of my head. I guess just being in my fourth year and graduating next year hopefully. A lot of things are hitting me at once...what am I gonna do after school...what am I gonna do next year for school...who am I gonna marry....what kinda job am I gonnna have....what's life gonna be after my parents pass away? All these questions are things that I've thought about...long and hard...and it's scary...just knowing tghe future is literally right in front of me. Damn...especially when I chilml with my friends and we reminisce about high school and it's like wow...am I/ really that old? Or I see my frends applying for graduation or start talking about life after school and their plans and stuff...or even hearing my friends talk about marriage and settling down. These are all definitely eating at me all at once and it's scary cuz I'm stilll struggling to decide what I wanna do next year for schoool and after that. But I guess this verse randomly came to me one night and it gave me peace as all these things were running around in my head. I know God has a plan for me and he just wants me to trust him....fully...not just half heartedly trust him and still hold some things in my heart....but to fully give my life to him, trusting that he has a plan for me and that all these worries...shouldn't be worries because he's already got it all planned out. It was just definitely a reminder I really needed as of late.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7

Hear What You Want

This is a commercial for Beats by Dre..but I really like it. And I really love Kevin Garnett's attitude towards the game of basketball. Some people see him as a jerk..but I see him as just being really competitive...he won't do things like be buddy buddy and shake hands with the opponent...and if you leave the team like Ray Allen, you're no longer part of the family...the team is family and he'll go above and beyond to watch out for them. This commercial is so sick cuz as an athlete and as Kevin Garnett especially, he probs garners a lot of hate and it's sick to seehim just tune it out in the commercial and just relax and vibe to the song...I'm the man.

Jazmine Sullivivan - After The Hurtricane

Lack Of...

Sorry guys...I dunno what's up lately...I've just been really out of it...out of everything. I'm just getting better from my sickness which I've had since new years. I'm slowly not feeling that tired/fatigued anymore. Feeling really weak though cuz I haven't worked out since break began...but surprisingly I've been losing weight...I'm like 140 something now...I swear I was closer to 160 beforee. But the worst news as of late is that my eyes are terrible...long story short ,I need glasses most likely lol...went to get my eyes checked today and it was terrible. Went to my fam doc and he did a few tests and said I'm a -7 and the worst is -10 lol...he's like technically you shouldn't even be able to drive lol. He gave me the vision tests and I could barely see past the second, third level lol. Then he sent me upstairs to an actual eye doctor, one of his friends and she gave me more through checks and test and yeah shes like your eyes are horrible LOOOL...so going next Wednesday to an actual omtometrist to most likeley get my glasses...l.sigh

Guest Writers

Just a reminder to you guys if you're ever interested in writing something on my blog...don't hesitate to ask, I said I wouldn't let just anyone right, but at the asme time I'm not picky either. There's been 6 guest writers so far and only one of them was bold enough to as me themselves lol. I've asked a few others but they either didn't reply to didn\t floow up and that's okay...I have one lined up so far and she asked me by herself lol so I guess that makes 2...

Never Thought This Day /Would Come...

I always thought my eyes were okay...but over the years my vision has been getting worse I guess. Too much video games, TV watching and computer surfing. It's been a progressive thing I guess, where I had to sit close to the TV or I wouldn't be able to see the game I'mplaying...or not being able to see street signs from faraway. But as of late my eye sight has been getting so bad...typing this post right now, I honestly can't see what I'm writing unless my face is legit right up to the screen. My friend was testing to me today and he stiood on the opposite side of the room and held up fiingers and told me how many and I had trouble identifying it lol...I always used to say that everyone in my family has glasses but me....lol guess I'm joining the club...gonna feel  so weird. People just tell me to get contacts, the glasses aren't the problem lol it's jutst getting use to them. Like I put in eye drops in my eyes for the first time in my life a few days ago and that was so weird...still getting used to it...so I think putting in contacts in my eyes are gonna be really hard too LOL...man this post probs has so many mistakes cuz I can't see what I'm typing lol.