Thank You...

I was sitting and thinking the other day about this year...and even more specifically this summer...and how it's just been a great one, in it's own way of course. But this post is just a shout out...a thank you if anything. Lately I've been realizing just how important your friends are...this whole thing with my brother and just this summer of fun and everything...so this is a thank you to a bunch of you...in no particular order and I'm gonna try to keep this short...like hopefully a sentence each person lol...

Oron: Thank you for everything...this year is gonna be weird with you...no homo lol...but we'll see each other throughout the year...thanks for always being there, you really are a true ride or die homie.
Kmdi: Thanks for simply being a down to earth guy, thanks for checking up on me when I was down...I appreciate it.
Hhta: As jokes and arms as you are...I love the conversations we have...thank you for being real with me and always pointing me back in the right direction when necessary.
Args: Wherever you are, whatever you're doing...you're always be the OG homie...and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Wylm: Thank you being one of if not the most down to earth and chill girl I know...I honestly feel so comfortable around you, thank you for being so open and honest with me.
Secg: Thanks for being there and for caring...I'm so happy we're still as close as we are and still can have such an open and honest relationship and that we trust each other so much.
Cllm: Thanks for always leading me back to God...I know things have been rough...but we'll always have a certain special bond between us no matter how far we drift.
Asyn: Thank you for trusting me with everything...thank you for putting up with me and my crazy personality...most of all thank you for being there...always.
Sewu: Thank you for being so down to earth, understanding and easy to talk to...it really means a lot to me...I've always told you that I love your advice, I still mean it lol.
Tywu: Thanks for being a true bro...checking up on me and taking me out when I'm down...we\ve come a long way since we had been in elementary school LOOOOL.
Etlu: Thanks for being a good example for me...I admire the growth and passion in your heart...continue to do His work bro.
Icma: Thank you for being a true big brother in Christ...seeing you grow has honestly been an inspiration to me...you've definitely taken big leaps in your faith...it makes me wanna do the same/
Bstm: Thank you for always keeping me accountable and always being honest with me...and always telling me what I need to hear though it may not be what I want to hear.
Jyyu: Thanks for just the times we had...the jokes, the conversations both serious and fun...I wish you all the  best this year...be responsible and smart man.
Tycn: Thank you...for all the talks we've had...it truly means a lot to me and I love our conversations...I pray that you stay firm in God and really seek to grow in your walk and as a christian.
Eccu: Thanks for opening up to me...thank you for being a humble example to me and always calming me down and bringing me back when I stray too far away.
Tyli: Thank you for this summer...thank you for opening up to me as much as you did...I honestly look at you as a little bro. I pray God uses you in whatever way....trust in Him, He'll never fail you.
Jnko: Thank you as well for this summer...all the talks we've had...keeping me accountable and vice versa...I hope we continue to keep in contact this year...thanks bro.
Knyg: Thank you for being so wise and smart...and no matter what the situation, always bringing me back to God...and reminding me that He should be the focus.
Mnyu: Thank you for trusting me and opening up to me...I pray that you grow and mature...and be changed and molded by Him.
Jetn: Thank you for being an example to all the young kids out there...your passion, your wisdom, your maturity...still amazes me...you're destined for great things kiddo.
Gyli: Thanks for being there when I need it and vice versa. I hope we can catch up this year and continue to build our relationship as well.
Jnli: Thanks for being a trust brother in Christ. Thank you for keeping me accountable and always directing me back to the cross whenever I doubt myself and Him.
Tyso: Thank you for opening up to me and trusting me. I'm glad we were able to have a nice conversation. I'll def take it upon myself to reach out to you often.
Knau: Thank you being a great brother in Christ and someone I can depend on and open up to. It really means a lot to me that you trust me and that I can trust you as well, thank you.
Cncn: Thank you for this summer...we got the chance to catch up and swap stories and such...I'm glad we're still close and that you're hungry to learn more about God.
Dywg: Thank you for the talks we've had and for your genuine care. I have no doubt that you are fitting in nicely and that everyone is warming up to you.
Oali: Thank you for being so down to earth and so mature and responsible lol. I honestly love talking to you...please do come around more often and stay around lol...
Slma: Thank you for being a good brother in Christ...I honestly wish that you find what you're looking for and that God will use you wherever you are.

Thank you guys...each of you have played a part, big or small, minor or significant...in helping me grow as a man and as a child of God...thank you.

Bone Thugs-N-Harmony - I Tried feat. Akon

Family Over Everything

Today...my brother showed me the kind of person...the kind of man he really is. Basically he came to my room and was like hey if my friends flop are you down to watch a movie...and I'm like what...I'm not no second option...so he's like nevermind wanna go watch a movie and I said sure. We were gonna go watch the 6:45 movie...we get into the car and are midway driving there...he gets a call from his girlfriend of less than 3 months...she's like what're you doing where are you, he's like I'm on the road...but he doesn't mention he's with me. She goes have you eaten yet, he goes nah was gonna get a snack...she goes wanna pick me up and we can get food...he looks at me quickly, then replies and goes sure. I look at him and I'm like uh...okay...so are you dropping me home. My heart and my head were like what the frick...like actually...you made plans with me...we're on the way there...and you flop on me right at that second...drop me home to go have dinner with her. The ride home I told him not to say a word to me...I wasn't even mad...it was more of a wow...damn...and a disappointed kind of feeling. He kept trying to get a word in...but I was like nah...don't even say anything...I don't even wanna hear it. The fact that he kept saying...don't worry I'll make it up to you pisses me to great heights as if he thinks he can like buy me lunch or something and it's okay. It's not even ditching me or wasting my time...but it's the fact that this guy...with no hesitation chose his girlfriend over me...like wow man...wow. I've always known you were a bit selfish...but wow. You would always shower early in the morning as soon as you get up to avoid chores and helping dad do work cuz you're "clean"...but I always let that go. You go out and stay out late instead of staying at home and taking care of dad when he needs it most right now. Right now is honestly not just the tipping point...but it's the most disappointing thing you've ever done to me. I honestly thought we were close...and this summer we've been able to talk like never before and we've both been able to open up to each other...so this hurts. Like really...I've always talked about the future...and how I pray that we remain close cuz you're my only brother after mom and dad pass away...and I hoped our kids would be close cuz they're going to be direct cousins. But the fact that you can choose your girlfriend of less than 3 months over your brother of 21 years is disappointing...you actually disgust me. I have no words for you...like my first thought was wow...I have no brother anymore...like I'm actually laughing about it but at the same time so mad and really disappointed...I don't even know what to say anymore...this is a new low for you...thanks bro.

Sometimes I Tell Myself...

If you wanted to talk to me, you would message me first. If you wanted to chill with me, you wold ask. If you cared about me, you would show it. I dunno...man someone's it's so hard being your friend...because it sometimes doesn't seem like you're down for me as much as you say you are. And on another note, you bring so much baggage to the table, and I care about you and am willing to accept all the baggage...but sometimes and especially as of late, it seems like that's all you bring to the table. But...I keep telling myself that being a good friend sometimes means just being a good friend without expecting anything in return and doing it solely because you care about the person. There's so much more to say...but whatever lol.

Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up

Definitely been on repeat as of late...way too catchy and soothing...

Prayer Journal: Day 11

Definitely prayers go out to all you first years out there...who are going into your first year of university, whether staying at home or going away for university...it's a big step. You're gonna be faced with lots of temptations and just new things...it's a whole new ball game. First year university is when most people change the most...it's when you really discover who you are. But yeah, I pray for you guys and girls going into first year...that you'll stay safe and be responsible.

Secg: I don't even know where to start, but I'm really going try to keep this short lol. I hope that whatever happens and whatever God has planned for us in our future...that we'll both continue to grow as people. I hope that you really work hard this year in school and surround yourself with good people. This year's gonna be a long one...stay safe shortie.

Args: Wherever you are...whatever you're doing...no matter how far we've drifted apart...I still wish the best for you and I still have a special place in my heart for you. I pray that you come to your senses...everyone is worried about you. I know you're smart...but surround yourself with the same kind of people...not the ones you're with right now. I hope you get it together this year...whatever that may be...I'd hate to see what would happen if you continue down the path you're on.

Fellowship: I pray for my fellowship...that whatever happens in the future is apart of God's plan and that we'll trust it in. That He'll select the leaders best suited and will properly equip them. I pray that He will be the reason we continue to gather, sing, worship and praise together. I pray that He will give us strength and a sense of direction this year...it's going to be tough. 

A New Month, A New Me...

Well not really new...but hopefully my blogging habits will be new lol. Today's really bittersweet...a lot of people are moving into university...this week a lot of people will be starting school or moving into school...so there go all the faces that came back just for the summer...it's pretty sad, I wish I had more time to chill with them. But yeah...I start school on the 9th...a Monday, but I don't have school on Monday so I start on Tuesday lol. It's gonna be a really interesting year...I feel like it's going to be really long, but we'll see. I'm only taking 2 courses...so I'll only be at school 2 days, but I'll probably go an extra day for the sake of it. I'm not sure if I want to work this school year since everyone is saying I'm going to have a lot of free time...but I'm also praying for the discernment that maybe I should be shifting my focus this school year elseware...like fellowship...or something. It's also going to be different because my friend who I've known since high school switched out of York...and I chilled with him pretty much everyday...so I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be sticking to myself most of the year lol...but one thing I do wanna do is to meet new people.;..not like a best friend I can chill with everyday, but just new people. Another one is to also hopefully attend the fellowship at my school more consistently lol. My last and probably biggest goal is to just go ham at the gym...since I do have os much free time...in one year...you won't recognize me hopefully...I'll have either gotten really big or really toned lol we'll see...but yeah...can't believe summer's literally pretty much over...school's right around the corner...Christmas is in sight...that means a new year is almost upon us...and of course how could I forget the FOURTH ANNIVERSARY OF THIS BLOG....damn time flies.