Dear God

- I know I haven't blogged or have been really lackluster late, been super busy sorry...bout to KO cuz just finished some homework...so tired, sorry, found this on my comp...never titled it...but it def paints a picture of how I'm feeling atm...not sure if I've posted this before...

February 15th, 2010

Lord give me strength for I feel like I’m falling

Into temptation and the devil’s calling

I’m surrounded my sin and lustful thoughts

My mind is plagued my garbage, when I know it should not

But it’s hard when I’m bombarded by all my surroundings

And when I see certain women, my heart starts pounding

Lord please give me strength to overcome this test

I need you with me even when I’m doing my best

Because I’m weak and my strength is incomparable to yours

I feel trapped and misguided on a path with 2 doors

I need you and I stand baring my sin and shame

I love you my Lord because you know my name

You know my pain and every tear that is shed

You know each chapter of this sinful life I’ve led

Fill me with your glory and your everlasting life

Put your bible in my hands instead of the serpent’s knife

Lord I pray and I ask for you to guide me through this tough time

I’m stranded on a mountain and I don’t know how to climb

Purify my heart and cleanse my soul

I yearn for your wisdom, please make my heart whole

Time To Myself...

Hey guys, sorry I haven't blogged for like 3 days...I swear I started blogging like a day or two ago cuz I remember writing things down, but I guess I never finished, but yeah...I've just been really stressed, frustrated and just emotionally drained as of late...not been in the mood to do anything but ball and workout and chill with friends. On Sunday, went to church, taught Sunday school then had praise team practise...afterwards, went home and had a fam dinner with relatives, then went to my friend's house with a bunch of the homies and we watched the Superbowl. Monday was a loaft day...was supposed to go the library with my friend but ended up flopping cuz I was just too tired, ended up loafting at home just chilling and stuff...at like 7 or something my friend picked me up and we headed out to ball at church...it was mad crowded....like 4 teams of 5...damn...but it was still pretty fun. Today is just another really loaft day, heavily contemplated not coming to school since I only have one class, but I came simply to workout and play ball...now just chilling in the library, so out of it atm...

Haven't Talked To You In A While...

You know what I really hate...when people who haven't really talked to you in a while talk to you or message you, but the first thing they ask is what's wrong...I hate that. When people I haven't talked to only message me when something is wrong...yeah it could mean they care...but I feel like they're only and always trying to know my secrets or know those things you know. They never really talk to me or message me on a regular basis and just casual conversation, it's always like what's wrong, what's up, who do you like...I hate that, but I also get it a lot from lots of people...and it pisses me off really. I dunno man...I guess it's all about perspective.

Heart To Heart Talks & Surrounding Yourself With The Right People

What's good, haven't blogged in like 2 days, I know, I've been super busy...but yeah...nothing much has been happening as of late,,,except 3 real heart to heart and standout conversations within these past 3 days. I can't really explain or go in depth about what it is...not yet at least, but it was really eye opening for me and it really helped easy my mind on a lot of things. 2 days ago...so Thursday I believer...at like 12, me and my friend started talking...about like fantasy basketball and stuff like that for like half an hour to an hour, then we just randomly had a heart to heart talk. We started talking about girl troubles, problems, life, high school, university, work life, things like that...it was crazy and we talked for like a good 3 hours about this, keep in mind this was also the middle of the night, I was helping him and giving advice on his troubles and the problems that he was having, then he started helping me and giving me advice on the things that I was struggling with. It was a great conversation and I'm so glad that it happened because it was something I really needed. I've been really vulnerable as of late and in a state where I'll open up to pretty much anyone because I really need someone to talk to and vent to, but I'm glad it was him. But yeah...the next day, yesterday, the Friday...after church, we went for food and after that, my friend drove me home and during the drive home...I felt that calling again, to just spill my guts to him...so we reached my house and I was just like, can I be really honest with you...and just told him the one thing that's been on my mind and the one thing I can't seem to shake off as of late...the talk we had in his car...was honestly one of if not the realest and most hard hitting heart to heart conversation I've ever had...it honestly gave me so much peace and really uplifted my spirits and answered most of if not all the questions I had in my heart and really helped me settle a bunch of the things in my heart, I really appreciate all the things I've had in his car and the growth in our friendship. Then there's today...I went to lunch with my friend today and we chilled for a good portion of the day, talking and reminiscing about a bunch of things again from like high school to life to school to girls and we caught up on a bunch of things and I told him the same thing I told the other 2 guys the past 2 days....I just talked about it and got his opinion and what he thought and see what he had to say...the combination of those 3 and the things that they said to me...really made me happy, really helped me answer a lot of questions and things I've been struggling with. To sum this up...I'm so glad I have surrounded myself with the right people, with positive influences, with legitimate good friends and people I can trust, count on, be comfortable around and be honest with. Thank you so much for being there for me.

Drake - Started From The Bottom

Started from the bottom, now we here...

Paperman (Animated Short Film)

I remember seeing this in the theatre when we watched Wreck-It Ralph...I thought it was part of the movie lol cuz they showed it right before the start of the movie...

Sleep, Eat, Repeat...

Hey, today was a pretty relaxing and chill day, yet somehow ended up being really long lol...woke up at like 10 ish...skipped my 8:30 lecture, caught the 10:30 bus, so skipped my 10:30 tutorial...which I just found out like a few hours ago was cancelled 15 minutes before it began, so glad I didn't go. Arrived at school at like 11 ish, got to the gym at like 11:30 ish and got a good leg/shoulder workout, after got food with my friend, then went to the library and did some work, took a nap...then went to my one and only class...wanted to skip today in general, but had to sign in for attendance mark and to get my assignment back as well. After class, bussed home with my friend...GO bus is usually like 40 minutes ish average...but with the bad weather and traffic...literally on the bus for over an hour...so cheesing lol, finally got home...played some videogames with my brother and now just chilling...finally the weekend...got to plan for Sunday school and got worship practise and dinners and lunches to go to with people...and of course catch up on sleep lol...