From Me To You...

This is directed to a few specific people, as usual...no names:

- there's always this awkward tension between us and I hate it...I wish things could go back to the way they were where we would talk everyday and we were close, now it's just different, you're always distancing yourself from me and I in turn do the same

- we have history...an ugly history, but we're both grown up now, we've both matured...and a big part of me has given serious thought about a second chance

- me and you have literally been through it all, I thought we'd make it...but now, it seems like we're losing touch with one another, we're both growing...but it seems to be in different directions despite my numerous attempts at reaching out to you

- I know you come with a lot of baggage, but something in me still wants to be close to you...I know I shouldn't think like that cuz we're just friends, but the thought always crosses my mind if you ever think of me as more than a friend?

- I want what you and the other person had...I guess I'm a really jealous person, I'd be a super jealous boyfriend for sure...but seeing how happy you were and all the things you guys did together, makes me wish we were that close...

- I hate how far we've grown apart despite how close we "seem" to be...

I have all these thoughts in my head...about you...and you...and you...and it's hard...because I care about each of you equally in different ways. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.

It's Been A While...

Wow I just realized no posts in 4 days LOL...MY BAD...what have I  been doing these past 4 days anyways? Well I left for the my trip to Niagara on the 3rd, got there around afternoon ish and boy was it INTERESTING to say the least. We got to the waterpark and it was soooo small, smaller than the pictures and videos we saw, so we got changed, came out and ended up changing out minds and didn't go cuz we also realized it was all little kids. Ended up going to some outlet mall around Niagara and shopped there for a good few hours, checked into the hotel, loafted a bit, took a nap then showered then went out for some fancy dinner, got all dressed up and stuff it was fun, got a chance to talk without everyone being glued to their phones and got a chance to chill and stuff like that. Afterwards, came back tot he hotel and chilled, watched movies and played board games till like 3 am. Woke up the next morning, home time...had breakfast, went to Dave and Busters for a good few hours, then finally the trip home. Before I continue, overall the trip was alright, decent I guess...it wasn't that great, but it wasn't that bad either...we didn't do anything spectacular, everything we did we could've done back home...but I did enjoy the bonding and the chilling as usual, it was fun to also just getaway from Markham and everything for a while. What else....there was lots of tension and awkwardness between people during the trip for some reason...I found it funny...but I also had my moments...I wish I had someone that went on the trip with me that I could've chilled to and talked to the entire time also...it was 5 of us...2 who are best friends and one is a couple...so I was kinda doing my own thing and being in the middle here and there, which wasn't that big a deal to me since I'm used to doing my own thing anyways, but it would've been nice to have my own buddy as well. Overall, would I go again? Depends on who goes and who plans it...if it was the same scenario, probs not though...just cuz it was a waste of money and it was pretty expensive, the bonding could've been done at home and eh...yeah lol...don't wanna get too into it I guess. Anyways after coming home, got dropped off downtown and watched the Raptors game with friends, met up with my ex there and we chilled a bit too, finally came home to the fam, showered and ate with them. The next day, the Saturday, what did I do...I swear I did something...I think I just slept in and did homework and chilled and loafted the entire day, not sure why I didn't blog, sorry. Today was another long and tiring day, I was so sleepy...woke up, led worship for sunday service, taught sunday school, had worship practise, came home and loafted and took a nap for a long while, I've been so sleepy lately, gonna die when school starts.

Road Trip...

What's good, today was a real productive day...woke up super early to practice for worship since we're leading Sunday. After that, came home at around like 1 ish, did some homework...I told y'all I had to finish 150 songs and make a journal pretty much...did 30 today so now I'm up to 110...good pace since I'm going to Niagara tomorrow, so sleeping over at my friends tonight, gonna go to the waterpark and just chill and stuff like that, coming home Friday, chilling downtown, then going with my other friends to a Raptors game...can't wait lol...so I'll try to blog while I'm at Niagara, we'll see lol...lots of posts to come though, haven't forgotten...peace.

Dru Hill - These Are The Times

From The Heart: God"s Plan

As we usher in a new year...I can't help but continue to think and reminisce on 2012. It was a long year...a hard year...filled with ups and downs. This year was a mighty stressful one...from school, to the future, to life, to girls, to church, to everything. One of the biggest things I've been concerned about is school/the future since they intertwine. Just not being able to let it all go to God and wanting to know every little detail about what's going to happen in my future, am I going to be alright and stuff like that, wanting to have that security, that comfort. It's been a hard year spiritually for me...trusting God...after all that's happened...after all I've been through. But it's getting and has gotten better closer to the end of the year. This year, I really want to give it all up to God...hand Him the car keys to my life and let Him take the lead. I know He has a plan for me just like He has a plan for you. I get so scared cuz I always think about what if this happens or what if that happens...but when I ask myself...what if that's part of God's plan for me. This year, my motto is to worry less and trust God. I was taking a shower and this popped into my head...it's like you're watching a movie...and something bad happens to the protagonist...you're like NO why did his best friend or parents or why did that bad thing have to happen to him. God is like your friend who has already seen the movie, He knows exactly what's going to happen, but he doesn't wanna ruin it for you. He knows there's going to be a happy ending, but if He told you what happens, there'd be no point in watching the rest of the movie would there. My biggest goal...resolution...whatever...this year...is to lift up ALL my burdens and give ALL my heart to God and trust in Him and in His plan and whatever happens in my life this year...good or bad, up or down...it's all in His plan and all for the sake of bringing me closer to Him.

PS: Still contemplating changing up the layout of the blog, so gimme a few days and we'll see...and also gonna be posting my performance from church during our Christmas program, so look out!

HELLO 2013!!!

WHAT UPPPPP!!! So this is the first official post of 2013 since yesterday's one was from my phone. Yesterday was just a real fun day and it was nice to see everyone come out and chill and have fun together. We played board games, talked, laughed, joked, etc. Some people are mad sensitive though...they get mad over little things or over a game or something...like relax lol. Other than that it was nice to countdown with everyone. Went home around 3 ish with my friend didn't sleep till like 5 though lol...today was just a relaxed day ish...did some homework chilled and stuff since I'm going to Niagara on Thursday then back on Friday then a Raptors game at night lol super busy then school starts on Tuesday lol not excited whatsoever...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Thanks for a long and successful 2012, it's been a long and beautiful year. Coming live to you from my New Years party at my friends house, I wish all of you the best 2013, be safe and well, work hard and strive far.